SHES GONNA KILL THE WHOLE PARTY........ GODDAMN

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SHES GONNA KILL THE WHOLE PARTY........ GODDAMN
So I had to save my fianceé the other night...
Maybe casting Control Water was poorly timed. Cheers up to the underwater tea party.
So I wiped my DnD party today
One of the monsters had the Confusion spell. I figured "Yeah. No way the cleric will get affected, so we'll give them an easy starting turn since this Nightwing is rather strong."
The idea was to let em have a good solid first round to try and take it and the weaker enemies down really quickly.
The Barbarian rolled like a 19. No effect. Which is odd, cus he usually fails rolls for things like that.
"Oh, thats even better for them than I expected"
Until the cleric rolled a 2. He was 1 short of the save DC as a result. The only one in the party who could remove the effect...was confused himself.
Long story short, the cleric misses 8 turns in a row to a confusion that never should have affected him. The frost witch, 1 level away from full cold immunity, died to a cone of cold she critically failed the reflex save against. The barbarian went down against an enemy that was literally at 12 hp, due to the sustained fighting without any healing.
So I'm still in discord with 2 of the guys, discussing their new characters they're making, when we get a discord notification from the third guy.
"Its the anniversary of the campaign"
By a cruel twist of fate, it is indeed the 1 year anniversary, to the exact date, of the first session. On what should have been a celebration...the party died.
Etrian Odyssey takes zero prisoners
We were returning to our home continent after sailing to the wrong island. After first picking up a new party member (his first time playing dnd and hasn't had an encounter yet), we were sailing towards the docks of the gnome settlement. Dm (me): you see whats left of the gnome barbarian nation battling the magic resistant constructs. Yaz (new guy): Ram the beach! Fuck the boat I wanna fight something! Rane (the healer): .....or not..
D&D Lone Survivor
So we got into a massive battle with an army of Orcs & a Dragon that was attacking from the sky. We ran outside the camp that was being attacked. I left the group and ran up a tree on the move to get the Dragon with my newly learned flame of the pheonix ability. My character is a monk based off of the Last Airbender series. I managed to stay hidden in the tree tops for several turns, continue to move away from the group while making skilled attacks from above. Managing to basically jedi force powering projectiles away from my character. I avoided several attacks due to passive evasion skills my monk had. The party started to take heavy damage and was a few hits away from death when an explosion takes them down to near dead status, needing to do death save rolls for the next couple turns. I had jumped out of my tree perch at this point to attack another Orc. I had to refrain from using my one ability that could possibly save their life due to it also possibly having the chance of killing them due to blast radius. I had to deal with the orc directly in front of me and then try to rescue them. I end up using my Fists of Fury and punch a whole straight through the orcs chest but as I do this. Janelle's character is grabbed by an Orc and brutally stabbed in the neck several times. Killing her for good. My heart is fucking racing now. People are dying. this is the first time people have started to really die in the campaign in the year and a half we've been playing. Before I can start rushing back, our robot fails his death throws rather brutally and dies on the spot. For good. I'm left alone. The Orc that killed Janelle grabs her body, slings it on his back and makes off to a cave in the distance. Im nearing death myself. The camp is saved. I rush back to camp to mend and morn my lost party members. The lone survivor.
I’ve been usurped!!!! Apparently everyone died due to lack of cat nip. Photo credit focusisforsuckers. Cat credit lemolo.