I don't have many notes on these chapters. Also, I kind of messed up my notes, so if you're confused, that's why.
Chapter 103
-After what feels a long time, we're finally back with Kyle being tortured.
-I can totally imagine Laurie writing English obscenities in between the sacred Payshmura writings.
-I still retain a sense of sympathy for Laurie, and I can -up to a point- understand her doing what she can to try and go back in time and keep them from going to Basawar in the first place. But at this point, she is just evil.
Chapter 104
-Yes, take the Yasi'halaun (the only thing that can kill you) back to the enemy's stronghold, that's a great idea, John!
-On the other hand, it saves him the trip back to fetch it
Chapter 105
-Ji's death must be quite a shock to the Fai'daum community, as she was not only a beloved leader and trusted advisor, but she must also have been one of their only constants for a long period of time
-Rousma is so cute it kind of spoils the drama of the scene a little
Chapter 106
-I profoundly dislike the wording of things like, "women inducted into the issusha'im", or, "sacred beds". I could understand Ravishan thinking in those terms, as he was raised with them, but John...? It's women being tortured in the vilest way imaginable, and I wish John wouldn't think in euphemisms.
-If Laurie succeeded and destroyed Basawar on the process, wouldn't Ravishan/Kyle die anyway? So there's really no reason forJohn to do what she says
Chapter 107
-The Rifter equivalent to Harry Potter's "All was well" : John is all right
“Just Jath’ibaye,” John said. “I’m no one’s lord.”
I marked this because John has yet to accept the name, as he still refers to himself (and is referred to in the narrative) as John. Whether this is a stylistic choice by Hale to keep the timelines clearly separated or not, I think it also speaks to John’s identity as the Rifter. Jath’ibaye is the Rifter, not John. We see that has changed in the other narrative (even Ji calls him Jath’ibaye).
“The bone shimmered and then melted into John’s hands, leaving them feeling warm and just a little stronger.”
So....the bone dissolved into him, right? I want to be sure I’ve read that correctly. But it also made him stronger, like hew as absorbing the strength of past Rifters. That was pretty cool.
“Only here on the seventh terrace, where the watchtowers and the Temple of the Rifter stood, did the buildings retain their structural integrity.”
I know John didn’t avoid the temple on purpose but...coincidence? Did he subconsciously avoid it?
“I’d be far more offended if you didn’t allow women inside the temple than if you did.”
John is so earnest here, but I also imagine a bit of sarcasm? Also, he’s a good egg.
“Their Rifter was a the promise of divine justice and unfailing courage. John could promise neither of those things. He was tired and hurt and worried that all he could bring these people was more ruin.”
John never accepts the religious icon part of the Rifter, as we know. I liked this because it showed the humanity to a God, which we discussed before with previous chapters. John is just a tired man. But he has all these people bowing down to him after he created all this ruin to get to his lover.
Chapter 99:
“Even after all the ccrushing, bloody injuries he had endured, the thought of being burned alive still terrified him. The memory of the writhing, charred bodies on the Holy Road curled up in his mind, triggered by the sharp scent of smoke and veru oil. He couldn’t imagine any worse pain than burning. But the fires needed to be extinguished and there was no one else to do it.”
Poor John, even though he created all that wreckage - and flame - he is still trying to heal (with no time to do so) from his own tragedies and horror. Which leads to my next highlighted section...
“John almost broke down then. He could never even hope to mend the damage he had done here. The destruction seemed endless and irreparable. He didn’t know if he could stand to see any more burned remains or crushed bodies. He wanted to walk away to somewhere quiet and safe to escape from the all-encompassing ruin.”
To be honest, John hasn’t had a minute’s rest since arriving in Basawar where he wasn’t driven by some plan. He’s finally able to slow down (or slow down by his standards) and take note of all he’s done.
“But he knew he couldn’t give up. He had brought this devastation down on Vundomu and he had to do all he could to make amends.”
UNLIKE THE CHURCH EVER DID. But also, more crying about John being a good guy.
“The kahlirash’im prayed for strength. But common priests and workmen wept. They begged the Rifter for mercy, begged him not to end their world.”
I wonder if the kahlirash’im were also begging him for the world not to end, but in their prayers...or in private.
“You knew that I would do this?” John asked.
“Not always.” Ji said.”
I just really liked this. Ji with her all-knowing but never reading too far into it.
“John felt odd using the term ‘us’ so freely with Wah’roa. He’d hardly spent more than two days with the man, but during that time they had labored and suffered for a common cause. They had saved lives and stabilized much of Vundomu. John couldn’t help but feel a bond in that.”
I liked this passage because it reminded me how much I did not like the previous war/planning sections with the Fai’daum.
Chapter 100:
“John expected him to stand and embrace him. Instead Ravishan collapsed down against the floor, prostrating himself at John’s feet.”
Hi, I hated this entire section SO MUCH. It felt so out of character for Ravishan.
Chapter 101:
“I never crossed to Nayeshi to find the Rifter. He crossed to Basawar and found me.”
Look, I’m not saying soulmates...but.
“And most importantly, they will not be able to bring another Rifter from another time to Basawar. (with the destruction of the gates).”
“Two Rifters? Is that possible?” Arren asked.”
....what do you guys think? Two Rifters? I don’t think it’s possible, but I’m curious what you guys think.
“Don’t worry too much. Things will work out. We only need to give them the chance to do so.”
“I’ll give them the chance,” John assured her.”
Ji wasn’t wrong...it just took years for those things to work out.
Chapter 102:
“He wracked the land with fury at what he had done with his own hands.”
This is a beautiful sentence; it paints a great picture of John in the moment.
“John stared down at the sea of fire. The smoke burned his eyes and caught in his throat. Even after all the crushing, bloody injuries he had endured, the thought of being burned alive still terrified him.”
I have a pretty vivid memory of being terrified along with John the first time I read this. I figured Ginn Hale was building up to some really awful suffering, and it was almost a physical relief when we find out it doesn’t hurt him.
“John almost broke down then. He could never even hope to mend the damage he had done here. The destruction seemed endless and irreparable. He didn’t know if he could stand to see any more burned remains or crushed bodies. He wanted to walk away to somewhere quiet and safe to escape from the all-encompassing ruin. But he knew he couldn’t give up. He had brought this devastation down on Vundomu and he had to do all he could to make amends.”
Clearly John blames himself, but do we blame him? Does anyone else in Basawar? He did probably save lots of people in Vundomu from being killed during the battle with the Ushiri’im. Even still, it’s kind of hard to forgive John for losing his shit and not being a bit more careful when he knows what he is capable of.
“I am human,” John said. He immediately realized that he was wrong. A human being didn’t tear stones apart with his bare hands or ride on storm winds. Human beings died when they were impaled, poisoned, and shot. Humanity was no longer his to claim. John felt an almost physical loss at the thought. “I was human,” John amended.”
Ooh, this is a really interesting idea! If he thinks he was human at some point and isn’t any longer, what was the turning point? Was it when the issusha’im cast their spell? Or when he crossed to Basawar? When he got control of his powers?
Chapter 100
“I beg you to forgive my offenses against you, most holy lord,” Ravishan whispered. His eyes were clenched closed. His hands were locked together in prayer.
“Ravishan,” John said softly. “Don’t do this.”
“I looked upon you and did not know you,” Ravishan continued as though he hadn’t heard John. “I felt your perfect love but only filled my own heart with lust—”
If John had been with Ravishan when he woke up, I wonder if maybe Ravishan wouldn’t have thought he’d lost John to the Rifter. This whole scene is heartbreaking and I can’t help but suspect that the kahlirash’im who were there with Ravishan got inside his head and convinced him that John had changed and that their love was a sin or something. The comment about being filled with lust definitely brought to mind all the brainwashing and prejudice that Ravishan grew up with in Rathal’pesha.
Chapter 101
“Wah’roa,” Ji responded evenly, “even if the Payshmura do acknowledge Jath’ibaye as the Rifter, they may not submit to his will.” She went on before Wah’roa could argue, “They have already destroyed four Rifter incarnations before this one. They have the means to fight him.”
Ok so… in an earlier chapter John reads that five Rifters have been brought to Basawar from Nayeshi. I guess this could be a mistake, but I prefer to imagine that there was one Rifter that got away and is living a quiet, eternal life somewhere on one of the islands where the jalapeno peppers grow.
“Silence seemed to fill the chamber like a physical presence, isolating each of them and insulating them in their own thoughts. Ravishan’s head tilted back a little and John realized that he’d fallen asleep. His face was beautifully placid, particularly compared to the troubled expressions everywhere else in the room.”
It kills me that this is the last time they're going to be together
“You saw Fikiri hurt Ravishan?” John asked. He couldn’t say kill. He couldn’t even bear to think it. “I saw them fighting in ruins. Perhaps the remains of Umbhra’ibaye. But it doesn’t make sense. Fikiri looked much older than Ravishan. There were bones there, but nothing like the ones I’ve seen before. Then the vision was gone.”
Ugh, and now we have prophecy catch-22s! If Ji had not put John on edge about Fikiri by telling him about this vision, he might never have go to Umbhra’ibaye to save Ravishan. The worst part of this is that it's actually Kyle that Ji saw, but neither of them knew that.
“And you think this all could happen years from now?”
“If I had to guess I’d say Fikiri looked like he was fifty.” John relaxed a little. He guessed that even he and Fikiri could make their peace given thirty years.”
I wonder if John ever thought back on this conversation and considered that this vision could still come true after Ravishan died.
“He comforted himself, wondering if Ravishan was still sleeping. Probably. Though most likely, he’d wake up in another hour or so. It wasn’t like him to sleep through an entire day. Perhaps they would make love properly then.”
Cue tears now.
“John gently touched the soft mosses, admiring their resilience. The mosses seemed to curl against John’s hands, as if they somehow returned his affection.”
Making friends with moss. Here’s the sweet John I know and love.
“Fikiri lunged forward much faster than John expected. Fighting beside Sabir’s troops had honed his skills. A wrenching pain exploded through John’s chest as Fikiri drove his curse blade into his heart. John stumbled back from the impact and Fikiri sprang away from him. A terrible, searing pain burned into John’s flesh. The ground shuddered beneath John’s feet. Overhead, faint streaks of clouds suddenly darkened and rolled into black masses. Fikiri watched him with an almost radiant expression, blind to the darkening sky.
“You are such a fucking idiot!” John snarled.”
I really, really love that last line. John swears so good.
“The wind swirled down around him. It caressed him with spring warmth and the scents of distant forests as it lifted him high into the air. John drank in the force of the wind and slowly descended back to the ground only a step away from Fikiri.”
I just noticed that he actually levitates here.
“I think that’s a disappointment you’re just going to have to learn to live with,” John replied. “I’m not going to die, Fikiri. I can’t die. I’m the Rifter and nothing you do will ever harm me. You understand? You can’t hurt me. Not now, not ever.”
This is seriously just so badass. Not very well-considered, but god it feels good in the moment.
I wasn’t even gonna post this but I thought I had some good notes this time. Let’s see...
I think book 4 was where things started coming together for me. Lots of info, even though we don’t see my beloved Kahlil, we get a lot of John being the Rifter, which I also like. A lot of foreshadowing as well, and I start to get nervous.
“That man was a colleague of mine who now has a price on his head. He joined the Fai’daum.” - Hann’yu being Hann’yu. Also, we start to see the Fai’daum more sympathetically.
“ [...] some kind of allergic reaction or possibly a sensitivity to the fungus that formed the mycorrhizae sheathing the plant’s roots.” - John is such a nerd omg
““In combat practice two days ago,” Fikiri said. “Ravishan did it.”” - Fikiri kinda trying to turn John against Ravishan and John doesn’t even notice...
“Even Behr and Loshai don’t know why you did it.” - Do they not know about the key? I don’t remember. Or did they just not tell Fikiri yet?
Here’s a bunch of super sad and heartbreaking stuff I thought was pretty significant, and makes the happy ending so much more worth it imo. I think an interesting theme of these books is that sometimes there are no good choices, sometimes things are bad, but we gotta keep going and try to carve out our space and our happiness (of course god-like powers always help lol):
“He didn’t want to think about what he had done to Fikiri. At the time, he hadn’t really known what would be expected of the boy. But even if he had, John knew he would have forced Fikiri up those steps anyway. He would have done it because Rathal’pesha was the key to his return home. He could offer himself the excuse that Laurie and Bill were both depending on him. He could tell himself that it was only a matter of numbers—the needs of three to that of one. He could say that Fikiri wouldn’t have been alive at all if it hadn’t been for him. John had simply made the best of the options he had been given. He had done what needed to be done. He wanted to take some consolation in the truth of all that, and yet none of it made him feel good or just. It made him feel sick with himself and with the world that surrounded him.”
“Sometimes his life seemed like nothing but a series of ugly choices. Putting his dog down or having it live on in crippling pain, lying to his family about his life or losing them for the sake of honesty. There never seemed to be a painless option, only degrees of what he could live with and what he could not bear.”
“It was regret, John supposed. Another right choice that he had made that hadn’t been much better than the wrong choice. And what for? So that he could end up here, in this stronghold of repression, lying awake at night fantasizing about Ravishan and praying that he didn’t get them both killed. What consolation was he supposed to take in knowing that his father, an entire world away, knew he was gay? Pointless, John thought. Sometimes life was simply pointless.”
“He had made hard and even cruel choices, but in the end they were the ones he knew were right. There was no use in regretting them.”
“He hates it here. He hates all of us. He wants to go home. He wants his mother. The kind of thing that boys say when they’re hurt and scared.”
“Even scaling the face of a steep incline, with his body pressed against the frigid rock, hand and footholds seemed to simply open where he needed them. It gave him an odd feeling of security, as if the mountain itself were cradling him, and it would not let him fall.” - How about those Rifter powers huh
“He didn’t cry like Fikiri, but John knew that Ravishan had endured far worse for much longer.” - Again how they both endured similar situations but turned out different. Ravi’s was probably even worse what with being gay?
“I want to cross into Nayeshi with you and…I want the life I can have there with you.” - I’m just crying rn
“He never seemed to expect happiness and that made giving it to him so much more of a pleasure.” - Stoppppp being sappy
“Within the Basawar culture, Samsango was perfectly consistent. He was kind and just. It was only from John’s point of view that a contradiction emerged.” - He’s like a racist grandpa...
“He suddenly thought of Kyle, recalling the way his old roommate had, at times, just stood there staring at him. He, too, must have been shocked by the society around him. John wondered which of his own actions had sent waves of secret revulsion through Kyle.” - You fool, Kyle had such a crush on you
“He had fixed John with a look that was half-shock and half-accusation, but he had said nothing. John had taken as much of Fikiri’s wound as he could without losing his own fingers. Now both their palms and wrists were crossed with the same tender, red scars like some blood-brother pact gone terribly wrong.” - Idk, I feel like John literally feeling Fikiri’s wounds in the flesh is somehow significant?
“But, you know, it’s like anything. You get used to it.”“I don’t know if I want to get used to it.” John scowled at his red fingers. “It can’t be helped.” Samsango shrugged. “You do something enough and it becomes part of your nature.”
Payshmura symbol of peace - ✌️
“he could still remember the boy’s name. Saimura.” - My son!
“partial descriptions of a miraculous steam engine, new printing presses, and the brilliant street lamps of Nurjima.” - Worldbuilding!!
“Eloci Nass’ilem.” Hann’yu smiled fondly. “She wasn’t allowed to write nearly enough in her time.” - Woman writer!!!!
“If you keep bullying me like that, Behr is going to take pity on me and you know where that could lead,” - DOES ALIDAS IS GAY? All signs point to Y E S
“He didn’t flip through the pages as John had; rather, he treated them with care and read with interest.” - Alidas loves books
“images of black holes ripping through the skies, tearing away color and light from the land the way a rupture in the hull of an airplane could whip away all life within. He shuddered in revulsion—as if those two lambs were once again dying in his hands and he could not stop it from happening.” - Is John seeing what would happen if they opened the gates again?
“He reached the doorway of the shrine but didn’t come out. Instead, he slumped down to the floor and pressed his forehead against the wall. His eyes were clenched shut, but tears still dribbled down his cheeks. He clamped his hands over his mouth to cover the sound.” - Hann’yu crying because of the girl they had to kill.
“Somewhere in him there had been a self-image of a man who was brave enough to suffer for his convictions. A man who would not stand by as a girl was murdered in front of him. Now revulsion and recrimination were eating that ideal away.” - Bad choices all around. Poor John.
“There was even a big, golden dog. Nobody tried to kill her or cook her.” - Ji!!!
“They made you burn your own mother?” - Honestly Ravishan’s life just makes me cry tbh
“You’ve had a crappy life.” - Understatement of they MILLENIUM.
“he had a strange sense of being watched.” - Damn Fikiri
“You think I’d be this calm if the Rifter were here?” - LMAO
“We can tell you many things, but none are certain and many are lies.” - I just like this quote
“John caught whispers of ruin and fires, the lost key, the demoness, the Rifter, and Jath’ibaye.” - Just thought it was neat that John hears them talking about himself but doesn’t know lol
“It wasn’t that his fear of Dayyid had lessened, but rather that his anger towards the man had grown.” - FUCK DAYYID
“You’ve baked Dayyid into a giant cookie which we will offer to the unsuspecting leaders of the Fai’daum?” John responded glibly. Both Ravishan and Ashan’ahma exchanged a brief smile. “No. Where do you get these ideas?” - John reads ASOIAF confirmed.
“I don’t think knowing how is as important as remembering that I can,” - He says this when he pulls Fikiri out of the gray space. L o v i n g this BAMF!Jahn
“I never have to question myself or fear that I am on the wrong path, because Parfir is with me in everything.” - Fanatics are scary. There’s people who think like this in our world.
“He wasn’t here to fight the injustices of the Payshmura religion or to teach Dayyid some humility. He had come to Rathal’pesha to find a way for himself, Bill, and Laurie to escape this entire world. He’d promised to show Ravishan a kinder, better life in Nayeshi. No matter what he couldn’t lose sight of those things. He just needed to endure all of this.” - Interesting to see how his point of view will shift.
That’s all there is for Book 4! Tomorrow I’ll do book 5 and last week’s chapters and then I’ll be 100% caught up!!! Hmu to talk about this if you want!
redoing some things on this blog, and we now have a new blog recs page for people who love the rifter series, occasionally post about it or just love it as we do! if you’re not already on there and want to be added just shoot us an ask :)
also hi hello dying rifter fandom. i hope you are all well!!! how is everyone?? #looks at the 6 or so people in this tiny fandom
i see ya’ll started a reread... how’s that goin? pain and suffering hit yet?
-Don’t meet your Idol: The actual Rifter must be quite a shock to Wah’roa and the other Kahlirash’im, in that he is nothing as expected: No divine wrath and heavenly retribution, just a guy who doesn’t quite know what to do with all the power he possesses (and who definitely doesn’t want to be worshiped)
Chapter 99:
-Starving yourself won’t help Ravishan, John. Though I understand the impulse.
- “It was only Fikiri”: knowing what Fikiri is about to do and what becomes of him later, this is almost comically absurd
-I thought you could keep people alive with water and honey for quite some time
Chapter 100:
-Why do they discover Ravishan was cursed only after he awoke? What does that change? He didn’t say anything about being cursed?
-Fenn’s death is doubly sad because of all the potential between him and Saimura
-Also, what a thing to tell someone! “He did this thing that killed him because he thought you’d approve! But don’t feel responsible for his death or anything!
-I wonder why the Kahlirash’im are always praying in front of the shrine. If they wanted something specific from the Rifter, they could just ask Jath’ibaye. So I think it’s either for the familiarity of prayer that might offer them comfort when their world has been turned upside down, or to pray for a different Rifter that might match their expectations
-I also guess they still have to learn that their Rifter has a sex life. Although, I think Wah’roa knows now.
Chapter 101:
- How does Ji turn pages?
-Ji should talk to John before ‘outing’ him as the Rifter. I guess that is one of the cases where personal feelings seem insignificant to her when looking at the whole picture, but this could have big consequences to his life, and she should at least consider his opinion or explain why she deems it necessary
-Also, maybe the fact that the RIfter this time is on the Fai’daum side and actually not in Basawar to destroy is something she should lead up with
-You should have killed Fikiri, John
Chapter 102
-What kind of woman is able to do this to other women?
-Ugh...I forgot that John just....straight up kills Ravishan. I though maybe Fikiri had used him as a shield or something. Ugh...to live with that loss, and that guilt, all this time....
-Part of the reason Ravishan wants to kill the Fai'daum is jealousy, isn't it?
-" They're enemies of the Payshmura church." - "So are we." Changing one's loyalties definitely takes some getting used to!
Chapter 79
-Saimura makes batteries of himself
-I'm not cut out for this jealousy stuff. Like, you're in immediate danger here, don't you have other things to worry about than what Ravishan might think when you sit next to Saimura (also, it is not acceptable to kill a group of people just because one of them hugs your boyfriend)
-I don't think it's okay to give John fahti without telling him what it is or why they give it to him
Chapter 80
-It's funny when you read the interrogation in the light of John/Jath'ibaye later becoming the leader of the Fai'daum. Yes, he likes men. Get used to it.
-Also I don't like Ji basically blackmailing John into joining the Fai'daum. I guess she feels like she has no choice and the end justifies the means and the need of the many and all that, but still
Chapter 81
- I think the most important thing to understand about Ji is that Ji is prepared to sacrifice anything and everything, including but not limited to herself, for her cause. Her cause is a good one, and she is a nice person when she feels she can afford to, but she is also absolutely ruthless
Chapter 82
-John beating up the Fai'daum one homophobe at a time
-But I love how we're getting to know the Fai'daum here. Not as the good guys or the bad, but as individuals, so we know there are, just like in any other group of people, assholes and nice guys among them. They have their share of bullies as well as genuinely kind people and everything in between
Confession time: I wasn’t crazy about these chapters. I know they’re important for building up the tension of the rebellion and also showing John coming into his Rifter powers, but I. Don’t. Care. About. Military. Shit. Like, at all. Even when it comes with gratuitous naked group bathtime.
Chapter 88
“John felt his face go hot and red. The words Saimura had used made the whole thing sound like a rape. Then John remembered the warm, quivering gasps of Saimura’s talisman. He remembered the sobbing that had stopped him. A sick feeling of horror sank through John. “I didn’t mean—I never—” John couldn’t think of what to say. He needed some way to make things right with Saimura, to take back what he had done.”
I wonder if this was meant as an analog to discussions about consent that happen in real life? In this case, I don’t think John could be expected to know how the talisman would have affected Saimura, and he just did what Saimura told him to do with it. But still, this just sounds a lot like the argument of someone who took advantage of an ambiguous consent situation.
“His dreams were a troubled wreck of confused guilt and longing for Ravishan. It hadn’t even been a month and yet he already felt Ravishan’s absence like a chronic ache.”
Aww, John. It hasn’t even been a whole chapter and so do I!
Chapter 89
“You survived? That’s a miracle.” Sheb’yu raised her brows. “Saimura prayed for you every night for a week, you know.” Saimura flushed, his expression deeply pained.”
This absolutely sounds like a big sister teasing a little brother about a crush. I think Saimura has had a crush on John for a while.
Sheb’yu mentions her “widow’s carriage” and “widow’s shawls” and it makes me wonder if widows actually have more autonomy and freedom in Basawar than maiden or married women. I also can’t help but wonder if Sheb’yu is faking being a widow. It’s kind of an awesome idea and a great cover for a female spy.
Chapter 90
No notes!
Chapter 91
“The moment Saimura’s hands closed around the bird’s body it went entirely still. John frowned at its strange, limp form. It didn’t appear to have a head or legs. Its long white wings sprawled out from a tiny cage of carved bones. A dark red stone hung between the bones like a heart.”
I totally missed this on previous reads, but this sounds like an animated bird skeleton kind of like Laurie’s hungry bones. Between this, the ushiri’im crossing Gray Space, and the Fai’daum’s voice transmitting stones that we heard about in Kahlil’s section it seems like there are lots of ways to communicate over distance in Basawar.
Chapter 92
“Where Ravishan was lean and scarred, Saimura appeared supple and unmarred. ”
Hmmm maybe the attraction between John and Saimura is a little bit mutual? Interesting that he compares him to Ravishan.
