Why do I party? Simple, I'm not happy.. I mean, yes, in a way I can smile and laugh, but it's not genuine and after that it's still the same loneliness I'm feeling. I used to always say "I don't settle for temporary happiness" but look at me now, I just want to be at a loud and crowded place where I feel happy which doesn't even last for 24 hours.
We're all different people and we have different ways of coping up. Honestly, I'm afraid to be alone because I got used to having someone who's always there for me through thick and thin. I didn't need anybody else, just him alone. When my friends would ask me out, I'd choose to stay home & just text or call him. My life was that simple but I was happy and contented. Seriously, nobody had that power to make me go with them unless they blackmail me. Back then, even if I was literally alone at home, I never felt like I was, just because of the thought of having him in my life.
Now, I don't even want to go home anymore when nobody's there... It was all good before, I didn't wanna party. If I'd drink, it was too rare and I'd rather go to chill places. And for as long as possible, I would want him to be with me wherever I go, whatever I do, even at my events.
It was all good, it was near perfect. Yet good things fall apart for better things to fall together. I know though, there's no turning back. I'm just looking forward to the time where I'd feel the same way again, ecstasy. My world once revolved around someone, but I didn't regret anything. I just wish everything will be worth it the next time around.. We've all gone through something that changed us. But that doesn't mean this change is permanent. I'm over the person, I just miss the thought of having someone sometimes.
I've been invited to a party....
While the alcohol is tempting, the human beings in attendance are a huge turn off. Another problem is that I've been invited by a pretty girl, and pretty girls sometimes mistake my lack luster socializing skills for lacking lust for them.
ALL PRETTY GIRLS EVER: That. Is. Not. The. Case.
Looking through Kendrick's photography on my camera from last night really makes me appreciate what an attractive group of people we are, but here's the question: why do we always have our eyes closed?