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haha i thought i was finally starting to get better so went out to grab some things. felt predictably ehhn, sore and croaky, still no voice, etc, (gross stuff upcoming)
until i got on the last bus home and started whiting out, sweating, unable to move. at the stop before mine i cough once and start puking into my hands. got home... somehow? don’t remember. slept for the last 6 hours after a really good shower i don’t remember either. guess... i am not better yet
kovu was your furry awakening?
Lion King 2 only came out when I was like 14. So Kovu was obviously recognizably hot, but as long as I can remember I have looked at tied-up Robin Hood and gone “oh yeah”. the other major landmark was Jake from Rescuers Down Under, though I guess the Beast gets some points too
i didn’t even realize it was TDOV until sort of too late. last year i was in rough shape and said i hoped i’d be better this year... but this year is even worse.
i miss all my friends’ great selfies from the last two years, because I really enjoyed TDOV as not just a way to make cis people recognize us, but as a celebration among ourselves to revel in being bright and vivid individuals who deserve to be visible and celebrated. this year it feels like my entire dash is “i’m trans, please help me, i am in the following awful circumstance and it’s hopeless”. it’s tragic and it feels so deeply sad. i wish i could donate to everyone, but i’m on the verge of putting up my own donation page and have no money to spare.
in a month i can find out whether and when i’ll have surgery, and hopefully by september I’ll have it and it’ll be done, and about 20 years of hating this one part of my body can be over. i’ve pinned a lot of hopes on how i’ll feel about myself afterwards, but at least i’ll be able to cross one thing off the list.
i’m in a really bad place right now, so I guess i’m just going to spend this TDOV wishing the same thing I did last year. i want to be there for TDOV ‘18, and i want to post pictures and feel like i’m celebrating something again.
xxxdragonfucker69xxx replied to your post: xxxdragonfucker69xxx replied to your post: >hears...
mine was basically shadow for a while
i mean i did basically do this challenge 11 years ago and made Merak, who i still find a good candidate, but my tastes have changed enough that i still need to redo it. and then when i went “what would i change” it basically just ended up “pink hair, taller and still slender, more androgynous, nonbinary, and not as actually evil, more sort of rival-y... oh for goodness’ sake i know who i’m talking about”
just feeling super self-conscious and stupid tonight
feeling so much infinitely worse; came home from work exhausted and starving, had a thicker soup than I’d been having and some toast. felt very bad about this until violently vomiting it all up several hours later. slept since. work again tomorrow, dead-eyed silent laughing
