Data Stream Communication
To: Lieutenant Mike Ayala,USS Voyager
To My Loving and Adored Husband,
I wanted to let you know just how much I really love you. There is nothing in the world that I wish more than to be with you right this moment. I miss your strong arms around me, holding me and comforting me. I know that things for you haven't been easy. I'm sure that you have a bunch of women throwing themselves at you, and I know that you've been very loyal towards me. I can not tell you how much I appreciate and love you for that. Of course, I would completely understand if you wanted to pursue another relationship. I know the physical closeness has to be hard to not have. As for me, I could never move on from you. You are my forever soulmate. I will never leave you. We have been through so much together, and I'm not ready to say anything other than 'I love you' to you.
I wrote you a letter that I wasn't sure I was going to send you at first. Our relationship has always be basted on honesty and love. I will attach the letter below for you to read. It's only fair that I share everything with you like I always have.
To my dear and loving husband,
I have taken a few days to go over some of our old memories. I miss you so terribly that it physically hurts. I know I told you that you can move on and I would understand, but the truth is, I would be crushed. You and the boys are my soul purpose in life. The dilemma I find myself in today is that I want you to be happy, but I also want to be selfish. I want you to be mine, like you always were, since the day we met. We were always inseparable. But you deserve to have happiness. We are so far apart and its unlikely that you will be able to return to me in this lifetime. I know that. But I hold hope for a miracle. I don’t want you to move on. I just want to know that you will always be mine. I want to know that you’re love for me runs just as deep as mine for you.
When I was told that your ship disappeared with all our friends, I was forced to think that you were gone forever. I knew that you weren’t. I could feel it in my soul. But everyone said that I wasn’t living in reality believing that. I was told to move on, because despite what I thought, you would never come back to me. And you know me better than anyone. You know I don’t give up my belief in something. You know I never would have given up. And I didn’t give up, but for the sake of our boys and the people around me, who seem to move on easily, I stopped talking about it. I made journal entries instead. Put all my thoughts down rather then speak them aloud.
I do have to tell you, I did got on a couple of dates, but of course, they never went anywhere. They were set ups. Friends and family trying to make me move on, but I wouldn’t. I’d smile, and “play nice”, as you would say. They are just trying to be nice. I would never go on any more than that first date. That seemed to upset everyone, but no one knows the love I have for you and how deep it runs in me.
I’m not sure I will ever send this to you. I’ve been so alone without you. But I would rather die alone, than be with anyone but you, Mike Ayala.
I love you now, and for always.
The boys are doing just fine. They are growing big and strong, just like their dad. Of course, they miss you terribly. Each one is doing great in school. Pedro is getting more involved in sports, and seems to really enjoy it. I told him that as long as he keeps his grades up that he can continue with the sports that he wants to play. He's done great and I expect him to continue to do even better.
Zula wants to join Starfleet, so he's doing a great job in his studies. He was even invited to tour the academy, but I will let him tell you about that. Kito, of course, is doing great in school. He's helping to tutor kids in his class. He keeps saying that he's not sure what he wants to do when he grows up. He does seem to have the teaching gene though.
I'm going to try to send a new picture of us. I'm hoping that it'll be able to make it through. If it does, I hope you enjoy it. Zula would not stop fidgeting. I have no idea what was going through his head at the time, but he would not stop moving.
How are all of our old friends doing? Is Chakotay still doing well? Let him know I'm thinking of him. Please give B'Elanna my best as well. How is Ken doing? I was going through some pictures the other day and came across the pictures of him, Mia and all of us. I've been thinking about Ken a lot lately. Give him my very best.
The boys also have letters that they would like to send you as well. I must warn you, Pedro got in trouble at school a couple of weeks ago, but I am making him tell you what happened. Although, I understands his side of the story, he was still grounded for a while for his actions.
Know that no matter what I will always love and cherish you.
