a/n: do i have a bunch of unfinished wips? yes. is one of them an incel shigaraki fic i’m super excited to finish? yes. did i dress up as patrick bateman for halloween? also yes. and so i naturally i had to do some quick headcanons!!
patrick bateman x reader, 18+ mdni
he’s huge on establishing ownership over you, everyone within a 500 mile radius must know that you belong to him
despite this he’s still really anal about you borrowing his clothes 😭
you can ask a million times and the answer will most likely be no
if you’ve pushed too many times he doesn’t even think you’re deserving of an answer anymore so you just get the most incinerating side-eye imaginable
although the next day there’ll be a box with an outfit perfectly tailored to your body and a note that reads “do you think i can’t afford to buy you your own clothes? :)”
the smiley face is 100% passive aggressive
see, he cares, just in his own weird patrick way
the only way you’ll manage to wear his clothes is if you sneak them on
better yet, offer to take his laundry to the dry cleaner
in his eyes this makes you suitable wife material AND and you get to wear his clothes (that still smell like his yves saint laurent pour homme cologne) mwahahaha
a win-win situation if you ask me
he’ll come back to his apartment expecting to see reading a book and his laundry placed exactly where he likes it
and it’s true to a certain extent
you are reading a book except you’re dressed in only his oversized shirt with nothing underneath
his first reaction is to get mad because did you really think you could blindside him like this, make him look like a fool with no repercussions?
he storms over to you, perfect face already scowling as he grips onto the flesh of your wrist hard enough to leave remnants of his touch behind
before you can try and plead your way out of this he realises that you’re completely swamped in his shirt, the collar almost falling off of your shoulder and…
you’re wearing nothing underneath
absolutely nothing
and this is the part where patrick remembers just how similar anger and lust are
his mouth gets dry, his pupils dilate and for a moment you think you might’ve broken him until you look down and notice the tightness of his pants
you guys get FREAKY to the say the least and ever since then he forces you to sleep in the shirt he wore to work that day
he definitely won’t let you wear his clothes outside because that’s too juvenile for his refined tastes but the moment you’re back at his place he’ll have you seeing stars <3
on a more wholesome note, i think seeing you wear his clothes reminds him that you truly do love him, y’know?
like, they don’t fit your body and the colours wash you out but you wear his things like a badge of honour and he can’t help but find it ridiculously cute anyway
the fact he doesn’t care that his clothes don’t look perfect on you aesthetics-wise is a sign that he’s absolutely whipped for you and he’s too self absorbed to notice 😭
it just makes him want to protect you from all the bad things in the world (cough him cough)
you pretend you’re asleep every time this happens but when the two of you are in bed and he thinks you’re sleeping, he’ll start to cuddle up to you, sniffing the crook do your neck, absolutely loving how both of your scents have intertwined on your body and softly whispering his adoration for you
if this happened earlier on in the relationship he would genuinely kill you if you found out though the odds of him even being this vulnerable so soon are quite low 😭
if you’ve been together for longer than he’ll still get incredibly embarrassed and give you the silent treatment for a few days
but then he realises that you don’t care and eventually softens up just that tiny bit more, saying sweet nothings to you when you’re awake (still only in bed, only when you’re on the cusp of sleep) only because “i don’t want to deal with a hormonal woman”
yeah ok patty sureeeee
ACTUALLY would probably let you wear some of his more casual clothes when you’re on holiday 😝
also starts to contemplate what you would look like wearing his clothes after a particularly gruesome session…
Drabble WARNINGS: reader has a breakdown!, Pat getting bullied, slight angst, reader can be any gender or thing u like :). PLEASE REBLOG!!!
Patrick has the shittiest advice when it comes to reader having a breakdown or something bad just happen to you. Because usually you do the comforting so he just
copies you with worse advice. So hes jiggling a bottle of Xanax infront of you asking “uh— um do you want a Xanax pumpkin?”
He’s VERY worried but has no idea how to express it (he was never taught how it’s not his fault), the best he can do is just hastily shove a cracker, some water, some of his Xanax, and some of his Valium in your mouth and call it a day, while slowly and awkwardly patting your head.
As your crying Patrick asks you “um nod your head if you want more Xanax—” he looks around the room awkwardly “okay no, you don’t want another one.” hand traveling down to your
shoulder, he begins to rock you slowly and awkwardly. It’s not his fault okay! He’s never actually had to, and cared enough to actually comfort another human that’s not him,
whenever he’s to trying comfort himself like you taught him whenever he has public breakdowns, repeating your words of comfort to himself.
He surprisingly manages to calm you down.
You thank him even if he did kind of a shitty job, and he feels like the master of comforting people.
He tells his “buddies” at P&P about how great he is at comforting people, he gets laughed out the fucking building. Tim says “Are you comforting men with your ASSHOLE Bateman”
He uses him master comforting skills on himself, once again just how you taught him.
hii! can I request some Patrick Bateman x reader head cannons? they can be fluffy and angsty! I feel like Patrick MIGHT have the capacity to treat you good, but since he’s so insecure of you even look at another dude he’s either killing that guy or freaking out internally. but I lovee your writing! thanks for all the work you put into your blog :)))
SHUT UP you are so sweet!! Ofc bestie i got you (I might turn this into a short story)
Warnings: fluff, some yelling, mentions of y/n but no pronouns, i did not proof read, kinda yandere, Patrick bateman
Patrick bateman x reader headcanons part 2 baby!
🪓 Now, when first dating Patrick you must've noticed that he...tends to pop up everywhere you are, didn't you?
🪓 What I mean by this is when you go out you see him almost everywhere even when you didn't tell him you could be there
🪓 and let's say your new coworker dared to compliment you? He's gone now. You didn't tell Patrick about him? He still knows.
🪓 Patrick's love is a venomous love. The kind that makes you feel sick like being on a roller-coaster especially since he's (in my opinion) a pathological liar.
🪓 If you ever try to confront him about how toxic he is? ⬇️
🪓 "Darling, you're crazy! I never said that. Are you sure you're remembering that right? Cause I don't remember it like that. Maybe I should call the doctor."
🪓I wouldn't recommend confronting him the next day at work you get sent tons of flowers and your favorite chocolates making you feel special...almost
🪓 Not long after this he would ask you to move in with him
🪓 Patrick would get professionals to move all your stuff and get you a fancy dinner to make you forget all about that "silly little spat"
🪓 Patrick's kisses are rough and make your head spin
🪓 If you're ever sad? He gets a little toxic...
🪓 "What do you have to be sad about? Do I not give you enough?"
🪓 Starting to cry? He'll feel kinda guilty and get you your favorite dinner (even if he doesn't like it) and maybe just maybe some cuddles
I could go on if anyone wants all you gotta do is ask, bye lovelies!~ 🍥
Patrick’s the kind of guy that loves being the centre of attention but also hates to appear needy. He doesn’t throw a big party; just a dinner reservation at the most elusive place he can get, surrounded by people he wants to impress. He doesn’t make it overly clear that the dinner is for his birthday but it’s implied—Evelyn makes sure people bring gifts of some kind. On the run up, Patrick briefly mentions that his birthday is coming up, dropping in his age casually around certain crowds so they compliment how well he looks for his age. He isn’t loud about his birthday, he doesn’t actually care; he just wants the attention from his peers. The praise.
What is their bad habit?
I mean, come on. WE know his bad habit. Patrick’s murderous tendencies are a consistent plague on his mind, unable to look at those around him with a non-violent lens. On a more typical note, a bad habit of Patrick’s is grinding his teeth. He tends to do it subconsciously while he’s sleeping and in his day-to-day life; often finding himself clenching his jaw from sheer annoyance. Patrick’s the type who’s always asked if he grinds his teeth at the dentist and lives in denial about it. This particular habit is a break from his perfectly curated idea of Patrick Bateman.
3) How do they display affection?
Observation and Words of Affirmation (towards Patrick). Bateman pays very close attention to those in his life, remembering minute details like what perfume someone wears, which shops they frequent and which brands they buy. Whilst Patrick is not the most outwardly affectionate person, he shows his…unique fondness to people through his inspection. Additionally, Patrick’s need to be viewed in a particular way results in him preferring words of praise as a way to be shown affection, having an adverse reaction to unwanted physical touch. His desire to be praised and acknowledged leads to him reluctantly enjoying words of affirmation as a form of love language.
What’s their guilty pleasure?
Of course, his murders are a guilty pleasure of his, but on a more normal note— shopping sprees. His Valentino suits are a season out of fashion? Not good enough, of course Patrick’s going to buy a whole wardrobe’s worth of new suits…oh, and he may as well buy some new Oxfords whilst he’s out. Patrick loves a good shop but will always take Evelyn with him to make it appear as though he’s going for her and not him due to fearing that his peers at work will consider his shopping hauls effeminate. Whilst shopping is a hobby of many, to Patrick it’s a betrayal to his serious business persona.
Are they religious, what lifestyle do they follow?
Though 1980s America was very religious, Patrick Bateman was likely not a practising Christian. Patrick’s psychotic tendencies likely led him to the conclusion that there is no God, not one we know of. A just and loving God would not make Patrick think the things he thinks and do the things he does. And for this, Patrick is an atheist, believing that anyone foolish enough to believe in an all loving God when people like him walk the streets is below him.
I LOVEEE READING AMERICAN PSYCHO, ITS LOWKEY MY FAVOURITE PIECE OF LITERATURE. MIGHT END UP POSTING MORE ABOUT PATRICK IDK WE'LL SEE ^^
what having a threesome with patrick bateman would be like hcs
patrick bateman x fem!reader - 18+ mdni
cw: mentions of cheating, lightly implied dubcon, mentions/descriptions of murder, toxic relationship stuff (duh, it’s patrick 😫), just all around bad stuff
a/n: accidentally wrote too much and haven’t proofread but smth abt patrick actually makes me so insane i have to write and write and write and- you get the point 😅 i hope you guys enjoy this! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
only allows a threesome if it involves another woman (definitely not another man) AND you’re both fawning over his body
he’ll be graceful enough to let her touch you but only when he says and how he says to
hates to see someone else have access to your body unless it’s for his pleasure so don’t think he’s doing this for you, he just gets a bit restless and needs a release that won’t hurt you…too badly
i think some of the logistics depends on what your class background was before you met patrick
if you were working class, he’ll get a prostitute off the streets and if you seem uncomfortable with this, he simply gaslights you into thinking you’re overreacting since you “must’ve been exposed to much worse” in the streets he saved you from, never mind that you’ve been doing well for yourself since you graduated
if you were middle/upper class, he’ll get an upscale call girl or even allow you to invite one of your girlfriends — especially if she’s the partner to one of his detested esteemed colleagues at p&p
“oh? you want paul’s girlfriend? if you could just remind me who this paul is…oh. allen. sure.”
he’s such a loser he pretends that he doesn’t know who paul allen is when you suggest getting his gf involved 😭
thinks he’s so slick with it but you can tell he’s riled up
just the thought of being able to sexually one-up the people he works with, men who all look identical and are incapable of truly recognising him, well, it gets him so hard you’ll be left with a aching jaw for at least a week
can only be persuaded to allow another man to take part if: a) he is very much “in love” with you in his twisted, self serving way and b) the interloper is sat in a chair in the corner of the room, definitely not his pristine hill house, but a part of him will always feel a bit tainted, a bit “carreuther-like” and will more than likely murder the guy after (more on this later)
will definitely pretend it was his idea since he doesn’t like the fact that he cares enough about your opinion to be willing to change his mind
HOWEVER
you absolutely cannot be the one to mention the topic of threesomes unless you want to unleash his psychotic side
it’s like a switch inside him flips and any sort of vulnerability he showed you is gone and he’s looking at you with those dead eyes he used for the rest of the vermin he’s forced to cohabit the planet with
will immediately start a three month campaign where he slowly wears you down by insinuating you’ve been cheating on him with someone from p&p until he’s satisfied you’re not (hint hint: he will never be satisfied)
even after he “gets over” it, a part of him will always be jaded that you suggested it since you’re meant to focus on him and only him but now you want to invite others into the bed he didn’t even want to share with you in the beginning?
you’ve shattered his perfect delusion illusion surrounding you and your relationship and it will take a lot from you to nurse his pride back to what it was
so yes, this means the moment you suggest it, even as a joke, he will now be monitoring your texts and intercepting info from your secretary
he will tell you straight to your face what he’s doing but he has that plastic grin on his face that makes you question whether or not he’s making a crass joke
basically he can’t afford to let someone else swoop in and profit from all the improvements he’s made to you
but when he suggests a threesome it’s only because he’s a man with reallll manly urges
plus he wants you to prove your devotion to him :)
protection protection protection
for all of the barriers he puts up and all the feelings he won’t admit to himself, he would hate it if you got some illness from something he suggested
patrick is one of those guys who views it as a moral failing to get an sti (unless you’re a yuppie, white male who works as a wall street banker)
you are the epitome of grace, beauty and perfection; he simply can’t allow you to become sullied by someone else’s disgusting body
also because he’s a health freak and, despite all the health violations he’s committed, he honestly would be revolted at the idea of touching you if you did get something
it would be completely unacceptable in his eyes since his high sex drive just would not be able to cope
what the threesome is like:
he’s gentle(er) with you and very aggressive with the other woman
will force her head down onto your cunt and make her describe how you taste
is gracious enough to let her make you cum even if it does make his blood boil in anger
now that two are acquainted, he expects the both of you to focus all your attention on him
somehow even more performative than usual if that’s possible
like, he has a mirror facing the bed and a video camera recording in the corner and makes sure that his face and body look perfect at all angles
he’s barely even paying attention to the sex 😭
he’ll make the other woman stare at herself in said mirror as he has his way with her but points out all the ways her body is wrong compared to yours
insane level of body shaming going on even if she looks perfectly fine
you’ll just be sat there kissing his chest because what else are you supposed to do in this situation??
he knows you’re not really into it at first but he doesn’t care
he just gets off on humiliating desperate women and watching them cum as he does it
you might break his rules and reach out to touch the other woman, maybe comfort her and bring her BLAB pleasure like she did for you, but patrick’s strong grip on your wrist tells you otherwise
fucks you after her and after much silent begging on your end he lets the other woman ride your face
the two of you look much happier with this arrangement and yes, he will be giving you hell for the next few weeks over this but he can’t deny the way his dick hardens impossibly as each hard thrust into your body shoves your face deeper into her wetness, the vibrations of your moans only making her moan louder too
pulls out and takes the condom off right before he cums into his hand and holds it out to you
yes i’m so sorry
he makes you both lap at his hand for his cum and kiss each other as he watches in twisted fascination
if he’s feeling especially kind he will lie in the middle of the bed with his arms outstretched and let you two snuggle up to it
you can see from the curl of his lip that he’s disgusted by the other woman’s naked body touching his but the fact he tolerates it for you makes the awful situation just slightly wholesome
only slightly
if you don’t know he’s a serial killer:
it’s a bit awkward and stilted but it’s patrick so you didn’t expect anything less
you knew wall street guys could have some wacky ideas but you didn’t expect this from him of all people
“how about i play you ladies some whitney houston, really get the mood going?”
patrick wiggles his brows as he announces his plans, you know you don’t actually have a choice in what music he plays considering he already has the cd in his hands, voice smooth and low yet his words perfectly enunciated like he’s never misspoken a day in his life.
you want to hide your naked body from the sultry (yet detached) eyes of the…ahem, agency woman patrick called in but the way he immediately tuts at your slight hesitation shakes you from your anxieties.
“well?” a perfectly sculpted brow is raised at the two of you and you quickly realise that he’s expecting you two to start.
“i guess what you really need is the guiding hand of a man.”
he tuts as if you’re some kind of clueless child, not a single strand of brown hair out of place as he remains in control of each moment in your shared bedroom.
the nameless woman chuckles at his remark and you nervously titter, hyper aware of him stripping himself down to nothing, clothes folded neatly and placed on his side table. his cock is impressive and though you’ve seen it so many times, when you’re under the watchful eyes of a new…partner, it makes it feel like the first time.
a part of you wonders why he chose her — she’s far from his type and speaks in the kind of valley girl accent he despises
it’s going to be a long night.
you thought she stayed the night but when you wake up, neither her nor patrick is there
weirdly enough some of her clothes are still strewn about the room
it’s out of character for patrick to leave his apartment such a mess
he only comes back in the evening and you want to be mad at him, ask him why he abandoned you after subjecting you to something you didn’t really want to do in the first place, but he’s holding a bouquet of dark red roses
they have an odd scent, a bit of a tackiness to them unlike the soft satin-y feel you expected but you haven’t seen him this peaceful in a while; you truly don’t have the heart to ruin his day
so, you accept his gift and hold him close, choosing to ignore the small stain on his shirt
if you do know he’s a serial killer:
he tells you about his plans with that conspiratory gleam in his eyes — here, you aren’t just a prop for his desires but an equal who understands and encourages his less orthodox hobby
you know from the get-go that it’s a set up for some random guy who’s been unfortunate enough to be the target of his ire for the month
patrick didn’t know how to feel about this. his dick was harder than rock just thinking about getting to murder with you as his little helper, but that also means some other guy was involved in his sexual fantasies and he does not swing that way — not even a little bit.
the threesome was really only a ruse to kill the jackass and swoop in on the fleming account but what would the guys at the office think if they knew bateman was getting down with a man? even if it was just to get busy with the same woman, everyone knows you’re meant to grow out of this behaviour once you leave boarding school. it’s juvenile and, even worse, gay.
his shame only made him pound into you harder, your moans slightly over exaggerated if only to pique the attention of the man rapidly undoing his belt on the chair opposite you.
what a fucking pervert, good riddance.
you eyes sparkle as you beckon the copy-and-paste man over to you with a coiled finger, your moans becoming realer every second as you picture what’s about to happen to him.
a part of patrick, way deep down, warms up at the sight of your abject delight. how has he been so lucky to find someone like you? someone who truly gets him, someone who hasn’t shunned the dark recesses of his mind but actively participates in them?
so, he fucks into you harder. you deserve to feel as amazing as he does right now.
patrick doesn’t take his eyes off you even when he feels that disgusting ingrates breath fanning over his back.
your hand reaches up to cup the useless man’s cheek (he has to suppress the childish urge to audibly gag at this; you’re only meant to do those things with him) as lips capture his in a kiss, your moans blending into his.
patrick reaches for the blade hidden underneath the pillow, the coolness of it reminding him that what you’re doing is just a show. you love him, not some random guy he works with. you love him so much you’ll kill with him.
he stabs the man in the torso, letting the blade sink between the bones of his ribcage and slice through, rather jaggedly considering he was still pumping into you at record speed, watching with sharp focus as gushes of blood escaped the man whose name he’d already forgot.
the man choked out, eyes wide and still staring into yours before he slumped over on top of your body. the near-stifling heat of his fresh blood, the squelch of it between you and patrick’s sweaty bodies and the way beads of blood and wetness travelled down your leg only intensified the pleasure you felt.
it was as if the whole world had stopped spinning just for the two of you.
if he wasn’t the catalyst to your intense orgasm, you would’ve forgotten about the body unceremoniously slumped onto yours as patrick’s brown eyes, manic and wild and something uniquely him, seemed to hold you in a trance.
then, they clenched shut for a moment and you felt his body shudder like you didn’t know where he ended and you began — you couldn’t help but smile knowing the murder affected him just as much as it did you.
patrick will then probably do something extremely violent to the corpse — he was being rather tame considering you haven’t witnessed many of his murders and he didn’t want to overwhelm you
both of you take a shower together and talk about your respective highlights from the night
“what did you think? when you got to see the light in his eyes die out?”
patrick says this with so much enthusiasm as he lathers up your head with his expensive shampoo you can’t help but chuckle
you two are absolute freaks and even have a whole getaway planned around the murder so you can dispose of the body far away with less questions
definitely fuck in the car knowing full well the body’s still in the trunk 😭
it’s oddly domestic how he handles cleaning up the mess (he doesn’t trust you not to mess up the tiles he got imported from italy) and you focus on doing the laundry and grocery shopping
maybe even get him a new, mother of pearl blade as thanks for his hard work
you’d be surprised at how much of an appetite murdering gives a person
masterlist
a/n pt.2: hi all! i’m busy with uni but i have many ideas and want to fit in writing more often, so feel free to send thoughts abt any fics i’ve written (i love getting to discuss aspects of specific fics and seeing what you guys think/imagine the character would do next hehe ^^) or request something! i have a post going into more depth abt this though so check that out :p
the masterlist is currently undergoing (unseen lol) renovations so it’s more convenient to navigate but as of right now feel free to scroll my page and search my tags for more fics that might not be up yet!
My headcanon about Patrick’s childhood is that he had the worst bowl cut EVERRR, and it’s obviously done by his mom even though his family is literally rich and can afford it, but Patrick’s mom REFUSES to let anyone touch her baby’s hair! And yells at anyone who suggests that Patrick should get it done by professionals.
