Used To Be Mine - Payzer One Shot (Danielle)
A/N: I know this is pretty irrelevant now but if I had posted it when I planned on, it would have been fine... Other parts of this story are here and here Anyway I wrote it in a diary entry form this time and run on sentences run my life. Also tell me what you think!
I’ll be honest, I don’t even know why I’m writing in this stupid thing…it’s supposed to help me with the break-up, I know, but I still feel a bit juvenile, being a twenty-four year old woman, confiding in a few blank pages of a leather-bound book. How effective.
This is ridiculous, but here we go.
I’m hurt. It’s as simple as that; I’m broken.
I know that no one gets out of a two year relationship without any harm, but to also have to leave your best friend behind in the process was absolutely horrid.
To make matters worse, of course, it has to be Liam.
Literally everything reminded me of him. Everywhere I looked, went, or heard, Liam Payne ran through my mind.
On posters, billboards, and the internet, in newspapers and of course the radio, Liam’s name was in every story. Whether it was of the break-up, his new tattoos and buzz, or the upcoming album and tour, he was there, making it impossible for me to move on.
But last week, I chose to shut them all out of my life, leaving me with my only source of entertainment in my empty flat, the television.
I’ve only left the drab thing a few times since the split for the essential things and mandatory work, but each time I step foot outside, I pray that there won’t be a single thing to remind of what I used to have. I can’t have low life paparazzi taunting me in my face nor have fans mention him to me although most of them seemed to sympathize with me.
It literally pains m- Dammit. I can’t even say the word ‘pain’ without wincing at the thought of his chocolate brown eyes that used to bore into mine, of his smile and laugh that could make anyone weak at the knees. I couldn’t be reminded to his newly buzzed hair that I used to be able to run my finger through as we talked for hours, of his sweet heart that used to be mine.
I’ll stop myself now. I thought this bloody diary would make it easier not to deduce me to tears. I’m done with this for now and I think I know what I need to do: get back what used to be mine.