#peacemaker funny

[defnotadrian]

Adrian: how does one go about being a Robin.

Jason: first you gotta be a black haired blue eyed boy.

Adrian: right.

Jason: then you gotta be orphaned.

Adrian: ok.

Jason: then a rich man named Bruce Wayne adopts you.

Adrian: following.

Jason: then Bruce Wayne sells your body to Batman because he’s in the boytoy trade business.

Adrian:

Adrian, pulling his gun out and cocking it: I’ll be back.

Adrian, running out the tree house, flipping out the door. Jason hears a thud.

Adrian: I’m ok!

Running.

Jason, calling Bruce: he’s coming for you again. This time it may or may not be my fault.

[defnotadrian]

Adrian: I love bats.

Adrian: I know everything about them.

Adrian: go ahead. Quiz me.

Jason: hmmm. Ok. Do mama bats breastfeed.

Adrian:

Adrian:… yessss?

Jason:

Jason, shrugging: I don’t know. Probably.

Adrian: isn’t your mom a bat.

Jason: you think my mom’s a bat?

Adrian: yeah. Your dad’s one.

Jason, dumbstruck:

Jason: you’re right. But it’s the males who breastfeed. It’s why you always see Superman staring at my dad’s tits.

Adrian, eyeing down Jason’s huge milkers: huh.

Jason:

Jason, covering his chest: get those filthy eyes off of me you foul beast!

Bonus:

Adrian: so are you guys like sea horses too.

Jason, screaming: don’t look at me with those hungry eyes planning to seed me you whore!

Dick, walking into Jason’s apartment:

Dick, walking back out of Jason’s apartment:

[defnotadrian]

Jason Todd falls into a lot of dumpsters. Not all of them hold treasures. None of them, none of them do. One night though, a yellow box caught his eye. It was laying right across from him.

A Cheerio’s box.

Except it wasn’t a Cheerio’s box. It was Cheeri-ohs.

Jason lit up as he leaned forward and plucked it up. Fell back into the trash astonished.

Jason: huh.

He flipped the box over. Scanned it. Then back.

Jason:

Jason: Why does it say, 'Cheeri-ohs'? With an H? That's not how you spell Cheerios. Why would they do that?

A man flew up beside him making Jason scream and fling his gun out. It was met with a man behind it in a blue mask.

The man: I know! That’s exactly what I said.

Jason stared at the man who seemed not fearless but too fucking psychotic to care there was a gun was in his face. He knew he could get out and survive.

Jason dropped the gun impressed.

Jason: who are you?

The man: vigilante. You?

Jason: Redhood.

Vigilante looked him up and down.

Jason: this your box.

Vigilante: yeah, got it from another dimension.

Jason: cool.

Silence.

Jason: why are you in the trash.

Vigilante: why are you?

Jason: dumpster diving.

Vigilante: cool. I’m hiding out to shoot a drug dealer. I’m an assassin.

Jason:

Vigilante:

Jason: need help?

Vigilante: fuck yeah!

Thus, the start of a horribly beautiful friendship.

[defnotadrian]

Adrian sitting like a little kid with his hands in his lap and feet pretty much dangling off the side of the bed.

So precious. So small.

Just a distressed baby boy sitting on the edge of the bed ready to run and tackle down a man twice his size if he ever tries to leave again.

[defnotadrian]

I swear I’m looking at his titties and not his tighty whities I swear.

Also, please don’t send lightening.