#batman funny

[starsandwhales]

Brucie and his babies (and oh no he forgot he invited Clark and Diana oh no-)

[robinsleeping]

Dad coded

[ktkat99]

As someone who grew up with siblings, I just can't stop thinking about Nightwing and Red Hood getting into a fight in costume and Nightwing slapping his hand over Red Hood's mouth to get him to shut up, temporarily forgetting that he can still talk through the helmet, and Red Hood retaliating by trying to lick Nightwing's hand and accidentally just licking the inside of his helmet.

[writing-nothing-but-spilled-ink]

No cause you know what would be funny as fuck Ras Al ghul randomly showing up to the Wayne Manor and just letting himself in doesn't wait for anyone to let him in and he doesn't even tell Talia he's stopping by Wayne Manor and it's the anniversary of Jason's rebirth and Ras accidentally missed Damian's birthday because he was out of the country so here he is just waltzing into the manor here's how I think it'll go

Ra's: breaks into Wayne Manor and bee-lines to the batcave cause his spies told him Damian and Jason were down there

Bruce:has his back turned to the entrance in the middle of lecturing Jason for being reckless and for rigging his batmobile to shoot fucking glitter bombs whenever he tried to fire any kind of projectile

Jason: come on it was funny and it worked honestly I thought you'd be happy no one's dead they're just covered in glitter

Bruce: eye twitching

Damian: notices Ras just casually waltzing into the bat cave

Damian: hello grandfather

Bruce:spins around to find Ras in his lair bracing himself for a fight or some type of bad news only for ras to by pass him entirely and beeline to Jason and Damian

Ra's: snaps his fingers and assassin's come out of nowhere seemingly appearing from the shadows one is holding a bear cub with a little bow on its head and hands it to damian and steps back meanwhile another assassin appears with a giant stack of first edition leather bound classic literature and some rare ones that are almost unheard of to have

Ra's: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GRANDSON'S :)

Bruce: is baffled because why is Ras calling Jason his grandson where did he get a bear cub why is he gifting Damian a bear cub, Damian's birthday was a month ago wtf Bruce's eye is twitching

Jason: oooo these are really hard to get, oh all of these are leather bound this is awesome thanks gramps though it's not really my birthday is your memory going old man

Ra's: this is the anniversary of your rebirth

Jason: ...

Damian: I appreciate the gift grandfather I shall name this bear lilly

Bruce: Damian I ... Look okay.. it's nice your .. his eye is twitching and he's trying to not lose his patience because again wtf.. grandfather has put an effort into this uh. Gift but you simply can't keep a bear in the manor much less in Gotham it's a wild animal

Damian: 😐 so isn't Jason and we keep him around and he gets to waltz around Gotham and the manor

Jason: hey listen here ya little shit

Bruce: exasperated first off your brother is not an animal secondly I'm not sure it's legal to keep a bear cub as a pet in Gotham

Damian: like running around Gotham dressed as a bat to beat up bad guys is legal, or that time you purposely broke into Arkham asylum to free Selina Kyle because her input on your suit was just sooooo important

Bruce: looks to Alfred

Alfred: well we do have the land space to build a sanctuary for the cub and the permits it would be quite an easy task to say the Wayne foundation is funding a bear sanctuary

Damian: ☺️ thank you Alfred

Bruce: turns to Ras why would you gift Damian a bear cub

Ra's: it was on his wishlist, and only the best for my grandsons, also you owe me child support

Bruce: ready to throw hands at this point

Alfred: smirks

Jason: trying really hard not to laugh

Ra's: ofcourse I'll let it go if you let the boy keep the bear cub in fact I have another gift but it won't be arriving for about a week 🙂.. he then turns to Damian you should give your mother a call she said something about wanting to plan something I'm really not sure what it is she's on about but regardless I think she'd like your input ... Well actually both your inputs

Bruce: sighs fine they get to keep the bear and we'll build the damn sanctuary but Damian i expect you to have it at least potty trained and do not under any circumstances let it in the kitchen I do not need a repeat of last time you got a new pet

Ra's: happy that he's annoyed the fuck out of Bruce and got his grandsons Great gifts my job here is done he claps his hands and his assassins fade back into the shadows

Jason: already lounging on a couch reading

Damian: holding the bear in his arms and patting it let's go get you some apples covered in honey 😊 walks out the cave with the bear cub

[jasontoddscrowbars]

The Waynes and Kent’s watching Signs.

The part where the family makes whatever they want for dinner since they know it might be their last.

Clark, to Bruce: what would you have?

Dick, before Bruce could answer: pizza.

Jason: naw man, gotta upscale it. Lobster.

Tim shook his head: I’d want a comfort food. Like Mac and cheese or chicken strips.

Jon: ooh! I’d want mozzarella sticks! With potato skins.

Damian: something sweet. A tart?

Kon: meat. Steak, pork, beef jerky, give it all too me.

Clark slowly nodded. Was glad their children answered for Bruce. Knew what to feed them if the world ended.

Bruce: Clark?

Clark shrugged: I don’t know… I guess Asian? Ramen. Mexican. tacos?

Bruce nodded, took in a deep breath.

Bruce: I’d eat you.

Clark: *pitch red*

Jason: this is why people are scared of aliens like in this movie.

[defnotadrian]

Adrian: how does one go about being a Robin.

Jason: first you gotta be a black haired blue eyed boy.

Adrian: right.

Jason: then you gotta be orphaned.

Adrian: ok.

Jason: then a rich man named Bruce Wayne adopts you.

Adrian: following.

Jason: then Bruce Wayne sells your body to Batman because he’s in the boytoy trade business.

Adrian:

Adrian, pulling his gun out and cocking it: I’ll be back.

Adrian, running out the tree house, flipping out the door. Jason hears a thud.

Adrian: I’m ok!

Running.

Jason, calling Bruce: he’s coming for you again. This time it may or may not be my fault.

[gobblederk]

4

[ianimateinnovate]

The Joker

Tim Drake

Ankles bare

Purple Suit Pair

Undercut HAIR

pale skin, *so fair*

and of course...

the ul-TIM-ate

*GLARE*

.

- a bat poem