#pear.blogging

[pearatwar]

deep down i want all my irls to find out about my tumblr. to discover me like i'm some kind of monster you have just unearthed the bonafide intentions of

[pearatwar]

i just had a dream that i got together with an old crush?? and she proposed but turns out i worked for a private investigation / reality show thing and i did all that for the funsies so she winds up heartbroken but we talk it out? weird dreams.

[pearatwar]

pretty girl alert! i am currently unhealthily swooning over a pretty girl that's being nice to me thus marking the beginning of another swooning season for me. is this another stunt on my mental health or am i going to hit it big? more at 7

[pearatwar]

i'm pear!

🇮🇹 | may 11th 2006 | he/they/any | pan | diagnosed: autistic and depressed | single

TW! stuff you might not want to see!

terribly often: yearning (romantic/physical), strong language

sometimes: self harm, eating disorders, self destructive thoughts and ideation

DNI: racists, sexists, TERFs, muskrat apologists, common sense deniers, blogs that only have sh pictures (please :[)

hey! yeah, it's me. i'm like if the weird indie kid fell in a cauldron of The Big Sad and became the cool but Sad indie kid,, the rest is history

i'm your favorite frejlordian one-hit wonder, a sopping wet dog of a man, the museum of human suffering

Likes:

misc!

piracy. lost of it. i am wired head to toe and have 300 gigabytes of pirated games and growing

seriously. i could download you any of your favorite games or media in the blink of an eye

programming, computers and IT! my school specializes in that and oh god theres so much math

green! the color green i love green green green

the number 1414, specifically the number 1414

talking to friends! voice chats! pleaspelapslepleapslepalseplease

brutalism (architecture)

vectorheart (aesthetic)

videogames!

roguelikes! i like that they're always new. in particular, slay the spire, risk of rain 2 and pacific drive

rimworld just sorta speaks to me... i unhealthily love that game

fortnite and league of legends: i know, controversial. the former is my guilty pleasure every once in a while, the latter is daily suffering

niche games: the niche-er, the better-er

social games: see jackbox and content warning!

used to be really into: guilty gear xx, xrd and strive | ultrakill

music!

everything under the dnb-breakcore umbrella term: loud AND fast

shoegaze and noise rock: loud but not necessarily fast

more traditional rock "name three nirvana s-" [gunshot]

lovesick indie

secretly a sucker for mac miller

some videogame soundtracks never hurt anyone, right?

topics!

every once in a while i'll post about my day in a silly manner and advanced lexicon, then i'll make a sad, yearning post and reblog two of my mutuals want to be reblogged? sign up now at the follow button!

i will reply to most if not all asks because i secretly love attention. feed me

tags!

most tags follow a "pear.[identifier]" schema... in order of frequency more or less:

pear.posting (my tag! basically every post)

pear.blogging (irl posts for the sake of keeping you up to speed with my real life life)

pear.typing (big text! i typed text for the sake of typing it and it's the focus of the post. in itself it finds purpose and lives)

pear.depths (woah Sappy. <- typical pear.depths post ender)

pear.meta (a post about the blog itself! because i am nothing without it and versa-vice)

pear.yearning (i just wish i could be loved... my soul grows cold and reluctant [sigh])

pear.asks (in case one of you guys sends me an ask! lovely lovely)

pear.anons (in case one of you guys sends me an ask but is scared)

pear.bustales (posts regarding, or made during, my 45 minute, bi-daily school bus commute)

this list isnt inclusive, and i'll make up new ones from time to time, but in the meanwhile get this other list of tags

rebumble (everything reblog)

two pears in a pod, pear and michael!, michael update (everything michael!! that fuckin creature)

moots!! (just, another moot, just one i dont feel familiar enough with to have a tag for)

silly game time (silly game time asks)

[pearatwar]

everyone stop the music. local pretty bus girl approached me of her own volition and told me i am pretty and gave me her instagram. we are so fucking back

[pearatwar]

i need to post more mainly because i. need to figure out if i've been shadowbanned,, worryingly low number of notes

[pearatwar]

to those poor few that are absolutely aching for more pear content: sucks to suck! but actually. i'll give you a small updatr

things are grim and foreboding and big time sad. i've been feeling really really. really really really bad for a long while now and my psychiatrist even TRIPLED my 10pm antidepressant dose. woag!

other than that: i've done bad things to my body! which i posted then deleted! and might post again just for the sake of consistency. not so woag... i've been under a constant crossfire from school, family and myself and i've been hard at work gigantifying bad thoughts in my head

met a girl, got dumped the super express bullet train way (which is to say; quick) because of the age gap. i don't think much of it, except when i do, but then again it lasted so little it's like if i teleported in front of fhe sun for a nanosecond, barely felt it

been playing games! monster hunter wilds is a fun time for being my first monster hunter ever. i play switchaxe and gunlance, and just switch based on what i feel like playing thanks to the seikret's handy dandy pouch, whom i named delamain to honor cyperpunk 2077's finest self-driving cars

getting spotify to work is a struggle with the recent crackdown on pirated versions of the app, but as long as i don't skip songs it seems to gladly play jolly and miserable beats alike

there are days i just lay on the bed face up and whimper and cry to myself whispering for help to an Entity higher, and days i drop to the floor and curl up and cry... either way, the environment at home is tense. i feel sorry for my mother

i feel like people aren't caring about me as much. memory ever fading... a fitting title, i dig it

there's stuff i left out, probablymaybe? i wpuld like to gently remember all suitors that my ask box is open and empty and picking up dust

[pearatwar]

YGUYS I LACED MY SHOES TO MAKE ASTAR SHAOE LOOK

cool enough to let me forget about the toils of life