#pear.yearning

[pearatwar]

pretty girl alert! i am currently unhealthily swooning over a pretty girl that's being nice to me thus marking the beginning of another swooning season for me. is this another stunt on my mental health or am i going to hit it big? more at 7

[pearatwar]

given i would rip my heart out because of my longstanding solitude, the next most obvious course of action would be downloading a dating app

problem: i abhor them and i feel like i would not be happy with whatever emotional codependency would be born out of it

problem II: i will be stuck loathing and pining and longing and sulking and sighing

[pearatwar]

girl, right? she's like the manifestation of everything i look for in a girl. i tried, i failed, i ended up becoming a good, regular friend, been to her birthdays, became good friends with her boyfriend

but one day she stopped waving hi at me in the hallways. something in me broke, shattered. even if i don't want to pursue her romantically there's something inside, a construct of sorts, that makes her one of the most important people in my life, and losing her is breaking me apart

[pearatwar]

maybe i am bound to be forever single, pining and yearning

and i will say it's fine inbetween every bout of loneliness and hatred and loathing but this is the way it is

[pearatwar]

i am so going to kill everyone until i am kissed where i was once bit

[pearatwar]

"it's just that. you know. you haven't texted me in a while" consider that there may be one of the following possibilities if not multiple:

your last text made me expect a follow-up

you did NOT reach out at all you can't convince me you really wanted me to talk to you

your last text was a witty joke that left me assburnt

i sent the last text