This post is for fellow white people who aren’t from the US south or just confused about the confederate flag. I am white and grew up in the US south and I’m going to share a little perspective.
All of my grandparents were racist. I grew up knowing that. And I want to talk about one of them in particular - my grandmother. She was a very nice white lady who I’m certain was very nice and cordial to every stranger she ever met her entire life.
And if you’d ever gone to her house, you’d have known she used being an antique dealer as cover for displaying things like minstrel posters and a painting of Betsy Ross sewing a confederate flag on her walls. (Non US folks - the story is that Betsy Ross sewed the second US flag during the revolution, definitely not the confederate one. Yeah, the painting was saying exactly what you think it was.) So she might have been nice to your face but all of her beliefs and actions (and votes) were extensions of her racist beliefs and view of the world.
I had parents who were very direct about exactly what the flag meant and the fact that my grandparents were racist, which not everyone in the south has. But aside from that, I also grew up understanding very clearly that because of the color my skin, other white people would assume I agreed with them unless I did something or said something to show them otherwise. They would assume I was like my grandmother -- “politely” hiding it. The kids at school, the ones who wore t-shirts with the flag on it and said “it’s our heritage” while being old enough to understand what it really meant, would assume I was cool with too it if I didn’t say or do something to show I wasn’t. And others would assume the same. The baseline assumption was that I agreed. So it was always on me to show that I wasn’t a safe place for them and their symbol of hate, that I didn’t agree, and that I thought they were completely fucking wrong.
I know not everyone grew up with my parents or in the US south, and that many people realized this or learned all of this later. I know there are a lot of white people out there that still try to argue that it’s a symbol of cultural heritage and pride and it’s “complicated.”
It’s not complicated. The flag is warning sign, a do-not-enter, a “this house/business/person does not consider all people to be equal, to be human.” It’s a way white people in the south and elsewhere communicate their beliefs with each other without having to say them out loud. It’s racist and upholds a legacy that puts white people at the top of society and pretends slavery could ever be a positive part of anyone’s cultural heritage. The people in the south who wear it or fly it or use it as decoration know that. They know that the reason the south seceded was to protect their society built on slavery and the supremacy of whiteness. Even if they won’t admit it or haven’t consciously confronted it yet. Two or three questions about why they have it will expose that every time.
And even if they say they don’t believe “all of that,” that it’s just “heritage,” they are still ok with others thinking they do, and they are still ok with others who do very consciously believe “all of that” feeling welcome in their space, where the flag is flying. It is explicitly a symbol that welcomes racism in that space, that makes racist people comfortable.
I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect every non-US person to know this. I do think it’s reasonable to be expected to learn from our mistakes. I know that the flag isn’t a glaring neon sign warning of racism and hate to people without my experience. We’re all always learning and being open to that learning is so important.
This is my perspective as a white person from the US south. I’m happy to talk to anyone about this. I’ve been generally encouraged by the conversations and reactions over the last couple of days on here, too.
