I know in my heart of hearts that modern verse lambert and jaskier are banned from making drinks at house parties because their pours are HEAVY.
the things they turn out are NOT mixed drinks. they are just prolonged shots.

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I know in my heart of hearts that modern verse lambert and jaskier are banned from making drinks at house parties because their pours are HEAVY.
the things they turn out are NOT mixed drinks. they are just prolonged shots.
okay but i'm cackling about the first time yen hears burn butcher burn
she and jaskier aren't friends, per se, but more than anything she's still pissed at geralt, so she hears the slam song of the century aimed at their mutual ex and just
jaskier as a child
okay but i'm laughing about the idea of a drunk jaskier getting lost as FUCK one night because he saw a cat's eyes reflect in the darkness and just. fucking. thought it was geralt.
does he know WHY geralt is leading him into the woods at a quick clip and pausing now and then to look back at him before darting ahead? no. but sure why not. he'll follow.
meanwhile: geralt already back in their room and waiting because jaskier said he'd be right up is just ???? where the FUCK is the bard???
no thoughts head empty just soft, domestic geraskier of geralt enjoying watching jaskier read because jaskier is so expressive and geralt likes to imagine what's happening in whatever book he's reading based on what the bard's face is doing
okay but given how different jaskier's look is after the mountain with his rockstar jacket and his feather hat, i'm laughing about the idea of him having looked at clothes in that aesthetic before only to have geralt say "you won't like them for longer than a day" because he knows jaskier's tastes and preferences
and jaskier is furious but FINE! FINE! ANOTHER LOVELY DOUBLET IN THE MOST WITCHER-EYE-WATERING COLOR IT IS.
so after the mountain, he decides FUCK IT and gets his godsdamned jacket. geralt doesn't know anything. geralt isn't even around anymore. geralt is-
aaaand jaskier does not like it
god it's so bad
he's so RESTRICTED
yes the drama of the spinny tails is fun, but it's SUCH a bold jacket that it only goes with like. THREE LOOKS. and it's too big to carry around so he HAS to wear it.
the reason we keep seeing jaskier in the jacket after he gets back together with geralt is PURELY as a subtle fuck you. LOOK AT THE JACKET, GERALT. HE LIKES IT SO MUCH. HE'S STILL WEARING IT. BECAUSE HE LIKES IT. YOU WERE WRONG. IT'S SO GREAT.
HE LIKES THE JACKET, GERALT.
I was always told that hiccups are caused by someone thinking about you, so I used be real sus about my parents being responsible..
I can see little Jask screaming at every single Witcher, because obviously they're thinking about him!
pfffft
eskel in passing trying to reasure grumbly babby with, "it just means someone's thinking about you"
but now babey is on a WARPATH >:(
no think him!!! stop it!!!!
anyone who looks like they're thinking about him too hard is getting CHOMPED
no thoughts head empty just baby selkie jask with hiccups
whole lil jiggly body jolting
OUTRAGED squeaks!! >:( how dare this happen to himb!!! someone!! someone is responsible!!!!