ranking pen emojis because i have nothing better to do
Apple: why is the ball tip so ginormous. you are not supposed to be able to see it so well. actually why is the whole pen so ginormous. it's unreasonably thick and the cap posted on the end of the pen doesn't even have a clip. it looks more like a digital art stylus than an ink pen. 2/10
Google: this one actually has a clip! and it's not unreasonably thick! that's either a really long cap or a really short pen though. probably not comfortable to hold for too long. you can't see the ball tip though. 5/10
Samsung: now THIS is a good pen. reasonably proportioned. retractable. smooth as fuck. like unreasonably smooth like it's trying to be one of those trendy muji pens. it's ok though you can get a multipack of pencil grips from the dollar store. 6/10
Microsoft: man what is this. why is it so thick. it looks like one of those overpriced ballpoint pens that wanna be a fountain pen so bad. US$14 at a barnes and noble in its stationery section. you know what i'm talking about. probably writes like one of those too. probably has a 1mm tip with proprietary refills that are more expensive than the pen. horrible. 1/10
WhatsApp: microsoft emoji if it was good. 6/10
Twitter: not as thick as the other two, but still weirdly thick. it also looks like one of those overpriced Barnes and Noble ballpoints that come in fancy packaging so your grandma who knows you do calligraphy buys it for you thinking it's an italic fountain pen (you only do modern calligraphy) when it's a BIC quality ballpoint. doesn't even have the decency to be gel or hybrid. 4/10
Facebook: now THERE'S a good pen. capped so it won't dry out. teeny little tip so you can write unimaginably small. kinda round so you can keep your grip on it. looks like my alpha gel kuru toga if it was a capped pen instead of a mechanical pencil. probably has hybrid ink so it's nice and dark and won't smudge everywhere. 10/10
Huawei: would someone like to tell me why at least two separate groups of people thought it was ok to have a digital art stylus emoji instead of an ink pen. and why does this one have a clip? is it boujee? is that how you spell boujee? boujee ass huion sponsorship. remember when every animation meme youtuber was taking huion sponsorships? yeah before that happened i got my first art tablet ever. it was a huion. it detected that the pen was touching the tablet when the pen was hovering above it the whole time i had it. one day the tip fell out of the pen and broke in half. that happened literally the day after i made my tumblr account i think. 0/10
JoyPixels: not liking the baby's first attempt as graphic designcore gradients. seems like one of those things you'd get on pens.com and you could order a minimum of like 100 and you could get your company's logo printed onto them. usually pretty shitty quality. doesn't even have the decency to look nice. 1.5/10
LG: YEAHHHH BABY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!! ROUNDISH PEN. TWIST RETRACTABILITY. PROBABLY WRITES SMOOTH AS FUCK. 11/10
SerenityOS: dude what is that. 0/10
emojidex: CAN I GET A HELL YEAH FOR OUR FIRST AND ONLY FELT TIP!!!!!!!!!! the fact that's it's drawing a brown line is upsetting though. looks like it's running out of ink and that it wasn't very opaque in the first place. look at that, it's skipping. felt tips aren't supposed to skip. put it out of its misery. 3/10