Debunking the Grooming & Emotional Abuse Accusations Against Penelope
Warning: This post contains novel spoilers and sensitive content!
Introduction
One of the biggest debates among Villains Are Destined to Die fans is the nature of Penelope’s relationship with Eckles. To be more specific, people discuss whether Penelope groomed and/or emotionally abused Eckles or not. The answer is no: Penelope is not a groomer.
These accusations often come from those who have never read the novel, have only read it through low-quality, pirated translations, or have only read the comic adaptation without the full depth the novel has. Others form their opinions on small fragments of the story on social media (e.g. TikTok), while some are simply too young or inexperienced to fully understand the story’s themes and grey morality.
According to the Metropolitan Police,
[g]rooming is when a person builds a relationship with a child, young person or an adult who’s at risk so they can abuse them and manipulate them into doing things. The abuse is usually sexual or financial, but it can also include other illegal acts.
And according to Justice Canada, “[e]motional abuse happens when a person uses words or actions to control, frighten or isolate someone or take away their self-respect.” If Penelope were truly a groomer or an emotional abuser, her actions would fit these criteria. But they don’t, despite some of her actions looking suspicious at first glance.
Context
The story takes place inside an otome game. An otome game is a type of dating simulator, often as a visual novel, where one of the main goals is to develop a romantic relationship between the female main character and one of the male love interests.
In Daughter of the Duke – Love Project! game, there are two difficulty modes: Normal Mode and Hard Mode. Normal Mode has “Ivonne” as the heroine and it’s easy for players to complete it. But Hard Mode has Penelope Eckhart as the heroine. And players, including Siyeon Cha (main character of the series), always fail to get a happy ending. Instead, they always obtain a game over, which means Penelope dies.
After failing over and over again, Siyeon mysteriously appears into the game world, where she finds herself in the body of Penelope Eckhart. As someone who always died in Hard Mode, Penelope is constantly on her guard and desperate to survive. Her mentality is shaped by the memories of her gameplay and fear of dying.
The game system is present in this world, showing her notifications, affection score updates, quests, rewards, and penalties. These constant reminders reinforce the idea that the world around her is just a game but with her life on the line.
Because she only views the game world and its characters as fictional, it means Penelope doesn’t apply our modern-day morals and ethics in the same way she would in the real world inside this dangerous environment. This also means buying Eckles as a slave, which she sees more as a strategic decision, rather than a real-world ethical choice.
What Is Grooming?
Grooming is a form of manipulation where a person gradually gains one’s trust to exploit them, often sexually or emotionally. This means that person will use methods to lower the victim’s defenses like isolating them, giving them special attention or gifts, creating emotional dependency, and slowly crossing personal boundaries. (NSPCC, n.d.)
While grooming is often discussed in cases involving adults and minors, it can also happen between adults when there is a clear power imbalance, or the victim is particularly vulnerable. (NSPCC, n.d.)
People who are groomed often don’t realize what’s happening. They may believe they are in a caring relationship. Victims usually feel a mix of emotions like shame, fear, guilt, and confusion. They may feel scared of what the groomer will do if they speak out, blame themselves for what’s happening, or worry about “getting the other person in trouble.” (NSPCC, n.d.)
Grooming isn’t simply about having power over someone; it’s about how that power is purposefully used to gradually control and exploit the victim. This is the difference between grooming and other difficult or unequal relationships: grooming is not accidental or mutual, it’s calculated and intentional to gain control over someone.
As for emotional abuse, it happens when a person uses words or actions to control, scare, or isolate someone, or to take away their self-respect. This can include threats, insults, constant criticism, destroying belongings, humiliation, or preventing someone from seeing friends or practicing their faith. While not always a crime, emotional abuse is still harmful, and the goal is to dominate or degrade another person. (Justice Canada, 2021)
Now let’s look more closely at Penelope and Eckles’s relationship to see if she’s truly grooming him or emotionally abusing him.
Penelope’s Actual Treatment of Eckles
Penelope doesn’t groom, nor does she emotionally abuse Eckles because she avoids forming emotional bonds with anyone in the game world, including him. She views the characters as NPCs, not as real people, and her goal is to survive and escape the game. To do that, she has to raise the affection scores of the love interests, Eckles included, in Daughter of the Duke – Love Project!. Her interactions with him are short-term, influenced by the game’s mechanics. She neither tries to reshape his personality nor keep him under her control; he is simply one of several “game characters” she needs to win over for a good ending.
She never attempts to isolate Eckles or demand loyalty from him. When she brings him to the Eckhart mansion, she asks him to be useful to everyone, not just her: “You heard what I said earlier, right? I brought you here to protect me. […] Your first mission is to prove to everyone here at the manor that you’re capable of doing just that.” (Web novel, chapter 25) Even while she’s still wary and afraid of him, she allows him to spend time with his compatriots:
“You can use that [extra] hour however you wish. Do whatever you need to.” […] I was giving him permission to meet with his people and help them if he liked. Should Derrick find out about this, I would no doubt also be punished. “But no longer than that,” I insisted firmly. (Web novel, chapter 137)
This is the opposite of isolating a victim like groomers or emotional abusers do. She even empathizes with his “distress” after his people were attack by monsters: “Frankly, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how awful it must have felt for Eckles to see his people in danger […].” (Web novel, chapter 137)
Although she technically holds power through the magical slave choker, she barely uses it. The only time she uses its power is when he attacks an auction-house guard. (Web novel, chapter 21) After that, she wears it only as a precaution, not to constantly threaten him. She also doesn’t apply a “reward-and-punishment” system; when she gives him gifts, it’s either to raise his affection score or because he hasn’t caused trouble. Unlike real groomers, who often give presents in secret, she gives gifts publicly, in front of witnesses like the Eckhart knights. (Web novel, chapter 111) In the greenhouse scene, she even considers removing the choker as a reward, despite still fearing him. (Web novel, chapter 106) Even her verbal threats aren’t actually being carried out. Eckles himself notices this: “She’d say mean things and threaten to send [Eckles] back to the auction house, but she always forgave him in the end.” (Web novel, chapter 159) She never threatens to kill him; when she says “betrayal means death,” she means cutting ties with him, not ending his life: “I told you that betrayal means death. […] You are now dead to me, Eckles.” (Web novel, chapter 158) She never humiliates Eckles, mocks him, or tries to break down his self-respect. Even when she destroys the magical choker, it’s not to punish or intimidate him; it’s to end their toxic relationship.
Instead of emotionally controlling him, Penelope spends much of their time together being afraid of him:
I’ve risked my life so many times. […] I’d quiver with fear, worrying [Eckles’s] affection score might drop. I hadn’t dared to utter a single word that might upset Eckles. I’d force myself to stay silent, only barely managing to restrain myself from spilling the words on the tip of my tongue. (Web novel, chapter 136)
Even after cutting ties, Eckles continues to pursue her aggressively, even going as far as trying to kidnap her, which genuinely scares her: “Eckles seemed overcome with rage, and I suddenly felt like I was suffocating. His eyes were so red, I was afraid he might start crying tears of blood.” (Web novel, chapter 204) Her discomfort is obvious when he initiates physical contact. These moments don’t fit the grooming tactic where the groomer controls physical intimacy:
I momentarily forgot to breathe as I felt the tickling sensation of his lips pressed against my palm. […] I felt his eyes on my face, and my fingers tingled upon seeing the raw affection he was wearing so openly on his face. An odd chill ran down my spine. Trying not to show my discomfort, I smiled awkwardly. (Web novel, chapter 148)
She doesn’t give Eckles false promises of love. The closest she comes to emotional intimacy are remarks like “always be on his side” (Web novel, chapter 106), calling him her “one and only knight” (Web novel, chapters 50, 58, 113, 148), or saying he’s “very important” to her (Web novel, chapter 138). And yet, even this last statement is misinterpreted; in his mind, “very important” becomes “precious,” showing he projects his own feelings onto her. (Web novel, chapter 138) She touches him either to calm him or check his affection score. The only time where she considers kissing him is when there’s only a few days before Hard Mode ends and she’s desperate to raise his affection score quickly, not because she seeks intimacy or is trying to manipulate him. (Web novel, chapter 148)
During the final battle, Penelope rejects Ivonne’s suggestion that she should have promised false love to gain Eckles’ loyalty:
“I’m not like you.” […] I might have used Eckles, but my intentions and purpose for doing so were different from Ivonne’s. “I had no intention of turning him into my pawn and then killing him when I was done with him. So of course I acted the way I did,” I said through gritted teeth. (Web novel, chapter 228)
She even admits she’s not a good person for him: “Eckles needs the real main character, someone who’s warm and angelic, not a cold person like me.” (Web comic, chapter 97) Her goal is to escape the game, not to keep him forever. When she lashes out at him for bringing Ivonne back early before the end of Hard Mode, it’s a genuine reaction to his betrayal, not a calculated grooming tactic nor an emotional abuse tactic: “That’s a fucking lie, you bastard. […] It wasn’t the House of Eckhart that saved you, it was me! I’m the one who bought you at the god damned auction house!” (Web novel, chapter 150)
Eckles’s obedience comes from his past abuse at the auction house, not from Penelope’s reinforcement. She benefits from it temporarily, but she doesn’t reinforce it for pleasure. Eventually, she treats him more like a person and ultimately cuts ties when he becomes too dangerous. These actions are different from typical grooming: long-term emotional manipulation, false promises, isolation, and control. While Penelope eventually blames herself for playing a role in Eckles’s blood red affection score, the situation is more complex. She amplifies his already existing dark side rather than creating it. In other words, Eckles is ultimately responsible for his obsession and twisted feelings. This is important because Penelope’s later apologies show she genuinely acknowledges the pain she caused to Eckles when she used him for survival, but it’s important to know these apologies are not confessions of grooming:
You are no longer my slave, Eckles […] I’m sorry. I tried to use you, knowing you had feelings for me. […] But no matter what happened in the past, our relationship is over now. I don’t love you. So please, get it together and go live your life. Don’t let Ivonne control you anymore, either. If you can do that much, I can let go of my resentment for you. (Web novel, chapter 206)
This moment shows that she recognizes his feelings and admits her part in contributing to the unhealthy relationship between them.
Finally, it’s important to remember that Eckles isn’t innocent. A groomed victim is usually unaware they are being manipulated. Eckles, however, is fully aware of Penelope’s motives:
Eckles knew better than anybody that she had some greater purpose in mind when she’d bought him for such an enormous amount of money and taken care of him so diligently. And despite the way her pretty lips always claimed she was worried for him, she hadn’t once looked at him with warmth in her eyes. (Web novel, chapter 138)
He was never oblivious about her intentions; instead, he chose to obsess over her anyway, which proves further that he’s not some helpless, manipulated victim.
Penelope’s Role & Responsibility
What Penelope does is understandable in her situation, but not justifiable. And it’s normal to feel uncomfortable about her buying a slave, especially when romance fantasy manhwas often either romanticize or oversimplify the problems and complexities of slavery. It can also be uncomfortable to see a morally grey female protagonist who manipulates others, particularly when female characters like Penelope are still rare in fiction.
However, manipulation isn’t the same as grooming. Penelope’s actions toward Eckles come from her determination to survive and return to her own world, which is something she makes very clear from the start: “I will do anything I need to survive. I will most definitely survive and return to my life without fail.” (Web comic, chapter 5) This isn’t just empty talk like in many other otome isekai stories, where heroines declare they’ll “use any method” to survive, only to quickly form bonds with the fictional characters and live comfortably in their new world. Penelope’s goal remains the same until the very end of the main story: surviving and escaping the game.
Her manipulation is circumstantial; she never seeks to keep Eckles dependent on her for her own pleasure. In fact, she tries multiple times to push him away and cut ties entirely. And she’s not blind to the harmfulness in their relationship. In the side story, she admits: “We hadn’t been good for each other for the entirety of the game – ours had been a toxic relationship, built on lies, secrets, and manipulation.” (Web novel, Side Story - Chapter 34) She even questions her own role in the color of his affection score: “Perhaps the dark red affection score bar had been of my making, not because of the Laila’s brainwashing.” (Web novel, Side Story - Chapter 35)
It kind of makes me laugh, though, that some readers are furious at Penelope for manipulating Eckles. a literal game character, while so many readers give a pass to male protagonists in other survival-game stories who manipulate real women, fellow players, for their own benefit. Those male characters often have far less of a moral compass, and yet, they still walk away, easily forgiven and accepted. If that doesn’t show how deep misogyny runs in fandoms, I don’t know what does.
Conclusion
To conclude, while some of Penelope’s actions look suspicious at first, they don’t meet the criteria for grooming. Throughout both the main and side stories, she never has full control over Eckles; in fact, she often fears him. Even when she initially sees him as a tool to escape the game, she still treats him as a person on several occasions. If anything, the evidence shows that Eckles is closer to being a “groomer” – or more accurately, an “abuser” – in their relationship, given his manipulative and selfish behavior, particularly after his betrayal.
Where to Read the Series Legally
If you wish to read Villains Are Destined to Die (novel and/or comic), please support the official release. It will mean a lot to the original author, Gwon Gyeoeul, and the artist, SUOL.
Reading the series legally not only will support the creators, but it will also help you understand the story without confusion. Many pirated versions of the web novel found online are machine-translated with unreadable sentences and have significant plot misunderstandings.
You can read the series here:
Official web format: Tapas (both comic and novel), Tappytoon, Pocket Comics, and Manta.
Official physical editions: Ize Press (Yen Press), both comic and novel.
Other languages: Visit the Villains Are Destined to Die Wiki homepage for links.
Thank you for supporting the creators.
References
Gwon, G., & SUOL. (2020-present). Villains Are Destined to Die (Tapas ed.). Tapas Media. https://tapas.io/series/villains-are-destined-to-die/info
Gwon, G. (2023-2024). Villains Are Destined to Die (Tapas ed.). Tapas Media. https://tapas.io/series/villains-are-destined-to-die-novel/info
Justice Canada. (2021, December 8). Emotional Abuse. Government of Canada. https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/cj-jp/fv-vf/fe-fa/p5.html
Metropolitan Police. (n.d.). Grooming. Metropolitan Police. Retrieved August 16, 2025, from https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/gr/grooming/
1577 (100 x 100) icons of PENELOPE ECKHART from VILLAINS ARE DESTINED TO DIE / DEATH IS THE ONLY ENDING FOR THE VILLAINESS
*The series is ongoing, icons are up to ch. 167
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Hello! If you guys remember, the original Penelope's birthday is on August 8th, according to the novel! So let's all wish a happy birthday both to the past and current Penelopes!
In the newest chapter, released yesterday, we get to see the original Penelope's coming-of-age outfit! So now that we know how both coming-of-age outfits look like, which one is your favorite? Or perhaps you love both of them like me?
If you guys aren't sure to understand why I say today is Penelope's birthday despite the merch calendar saying it's August 16th, check this post.
