Penpals | Chapter 9
Idol!Kim Tae-hyung / V x Fem!Reader
Summary: You weren’t big on social media. Hell, you didn’t even care much for trends. So when you get a notification one day on instagram from a person claiming to be a global sensation, you can’t believe it. Months later, you still can’t believe your penpals with BTS’s good boy - Kim Taehyung himself.
Warnings: FLUFF, Light teasing, Angst, Betrayal, Mentions of past toxic relationships, Sexual assault, Cheating, and mental abuse.
Notes: The events that are in this story can definitely happen in real life, BUT this is just a fanfiction and I don’t think these events will actually happen/are occurring. Anything in italics are texts messages. This is going to be another long, and bumpy chapter. Sorry for how long it is, but if any of you are like me you love long chapters like this. But still, sorry in advance :/
BTS ML | Index | CH 10
*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
"I'll keep being your penpal."
You see Taehyung's smile grow, and you feel kinda bad for shooting it down.
"If!" He jumps. "And I mean only if there are no more lies. No more secrets. We're both completely open books with each other."
"Of course! I really mean it! I know what type of person you are, and I trust you, Y/n. I wanted to reveal who I was eventually. I technically did when I sent you the picture of me a while ago, but you just didn't recognize me. I just wasn't sure how to do it in the best way after that, you know?"
"Mhmm."
"Mhmm…?"
You roll your eyes at him.
"Yes, mhmm. As in, yes, I understand, Tae."
He smiles at the nickname you've already formed since finding out his real name. And you roll your eyes again but bite your lip because you can't believe how normal it already is for you to talk to him. Like he isn't a part of BTS and just… Taehyung.
"You know, you’re cute when you bite your lip."
You rub your lips together and then rub your hand against your mouth for an extra measure. Not wanting to give Taehyung the satisfaction of making you smile right now.
"Oh, shh. Keep your compliments to yourself while you're in the dog house."
Taehyung whimpers like a wounded puppy while pouting his lips. And it's the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen.
God, this is hard.
"You can't stay mad at me forever. I'm your…."
And there it is. You've been wondering when this conversation would come up. The 'labeling' conversation. But of course, it decides to come up when you're trying to be a badass bitch and put your foot down. Trying to make sure Taehyung understands what he did was wrong, even though you already slightly forgave him.
Taehyung whistles awkwardly, and it actually makes you laugh. You pick up your phone from against the pillow and lay down flat on the bed. Holding it above your face.
"What's that? Is thee Kim Taehyung… feeling awkward?"
He rolls his eyes at you.
"Is thee Kim Taehyung… feeling confused?"
"Har, har, very funny."
Even though you both laugh your little teasing off, you don't want to stop this conversation now that it has started.
"But since you mentioned it." You don't miss Taehyung's eyes getting more prominent for a second. "What are we? This is the weirdest time to bring it up. But, fuck it! I wanna know."
"Look at you being all tough and shit. You drink coffee today?"
"Tea, and don't change the subject! I'm in badass bitch mode, and I want my swirling thoughts from the last two months - answered."
"So, you've thought about this then?"
Taehyung smirks, and you bite your tongue to keep yourself from smiling again. Once again, having to try really hard not to give in and let him swoon you. He really knows how to push all the correct buttons.
"Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. Still, answer the question."
"What question?"
"Oh my God!" You shove one of your pillows into your face. Annoyed, but also secretly loving how playful Taehyung is being.
"Okay, okay,” He chuckles out. “What are we? Honestly, that's hard to say. You know now how complicated my life is, and we haven't exactly met in person. Even if we did sext last night."
He mumbles the last part, and of course, you come up from the pillow at that exact moment. Making your face beat red from mentioning what happened yesterday night when your hormones were on autopilot.
"Are you blushing?"
"No!"
"Oh my God, you are! That's adorable. My little kitten's all blushy from sending me such good photos last night."
You drop your phone on your face.
"Ow!"
You hear Taehyung's laughter boom into your ear because your phone moved to the bed next to your face after hitting you. It may have just been a simple tease, but his words definitely effected you more than they should have. And he knows it like you’re already wrapped around his finger when it comes to all things sexual.
It was just sexting! Something teenagers do when they're first learning about sex or learning how to love themselves.
But talking about sex out loud, outside of doing the act itself, makes you so shy. And then Taehyung just had to call you kitten. With his god damn deep, sexy, panty dropping voice!
You're a goner.
"You know, for someone who hasn't been with a girl since they were seventeen, you definitely know how to make a girl feel a lot of different things."
"Correction, I know how to make you feel a lot of different things."
You move your phone back to above your face, making sure to keep a tight grip on it this time. Taehyung is sporting his usual teasing, sexy smirk. And since Taehyung just broke your bad ass bitch wall with a hammer, you can't help yourself but smile back at him.
"There we go! There's my angel's smile."
"You did all this to make me smile?"
"Didn't I tell you? It's my daily goal!"
You giggle and bite the tip of your thumbnail. Feeling extra cute at that moment from getting all this affection at once.
"Your piece of work."
"I know, I've been told." Taehyung chuckles at himself. "I have a question!"
You laugh at his dramatic mood change.
"What is it?"
"How did you find out who I was? Like, all this time, you've seen my face and knew BTS but didn't figure out it was me until now. How?"
You look over at your plastic bag that's filled with the light bulb you went back to buy and the magazine. You bought the magazine for the simple fact that you needed to keep being reminded that V was actually Taehyung. That this wasn’t a dream and the person you’ve been talking, and flirting with is in fact an Idol.
You stand up from your bed and get the magazine that revealed to you all Taehyung's secrets at once. When you got back to your bed, you said nothing and showed him the magazine cover.
"Gotcha," He said and then dropped his bottom lip. Only showing his bottom teeth and making a funny face while scraping his teeth against his lip. “I was thinking that may happen."
"You thought I would go out one day to buy a lightbulb and come back with a magazine with you on the front cover? You must be psychic,” You say the last part of your sentence sarcastically, and roll your eyes. 
"You know what I mean, silly. It was a possibility."
"Mhmm."
"Mhmm..."
Then you witness another dramatic mood change in him, but this one isn't positive. His smirk falls, and he's back to a blank expression. Like you both weren't just teasing the fuck out of each other.
Your 'badass bitch’ mode has been turned off for the moment, and you feel yourself getting worried about whatever he's thinking about.
"Hey, you okay?"
He nods his head, then does the opposite and shakes it.
"I just feel terrible about all this. I know I should have told you. I knew going into this that if we actually got close, I would want to tell you who I really was. It's just… I never expected it to get this far, I guess?"
"What do you mean?"
You wiggle your back on the bed. Getting kinda nervous about what Taehyung was implying.
"Like… I want to meet you Y/n." Your eyes go wide. "I do! The only reason I’ve haven’t been bringing up this subject is because you didn’t know who I was. And now you do! I want to meet you in person Y/n.”
Your stomach drops, and you almost drop your phone again. Taking precautions, you move to lay down on your side and get under the blankets. Giving you some time to respond and putting yourself in a makeshift protective barrier from what Taehyung was requesting.
Before you found out who Taehyung was, you were all for meeting him for the first time. Yeah, you would have butterflies and be nervous, but you thought you were just meeting a regular guy at the time.
Now, everything is different. Meeting Taehyung is different. Hell, talking to him is even different! Although you’re still yourselves with each other, you've never met a celebrity in real life. Knowing you, you would probably mess up with the first few words and forget your name, so you call yourself an astronaut! Stupid, yes, but honestly possible.
"Hey, stop freaking out."
You only get out of your anxiety-ridden state when you hear Taehyung's voice. He must have noticed your mini-meltdown because his face was now close to the camera. Looking at you with such care.
"We don't have to meet yet. I was just saying, I really want to."
"I do too! It's just… you’re you."
Your words sound small, and honestly, you feel embarrassed to admit that you're feeling self-conscious now about meeting him because of who he is.
It wasn't talked about a lot, the prospect of you two meeting in real life. Only sprinkled in conversations from now and then. But each time, your reaction was always so much happier. Now it's obvious you’re feeling a different kind of way about it.
"I am me. I'm that guy from BTS. But I'm also the guy you've been talking to every day for the past two months. Can't you look at it like that?"
You nod your head at understanding what he's saying, but you're not going to straight-up lie and say it changed your mind completely. Do you want to meet him? Yes. Are you scared shirtless about it, also? Yes. And you're not going to lie about it.
"I know, I know. But still, think about it from my perspective. Average girl, living an average life meeting the guy she's been texting for months… and now just found out he's a worldwide idol… yeah, if that doesn't sound nerve raking I don't know what is."
Taehyung sighs, and you watch him slump in defeat. You hate to bring up how complicated this all is and your feelings on top of that, but it had to be said. It's not that you feel any different about him. You don't regret opening his first DM or being his whatever the fuck you are to each other. It's just that you've never experienced anything like this.
It's not stopping you from talking to him, and it's not stopping you from liking him. You just want to pump the brakes a little on meeting each other for the first time. You're just hoping it doesn't make him want to ditch you altogether.
"Hey!" You say into the phone to get his attention. "I still like you. I still want to see where this all goes, can you just give me a week?"
Taehyung raises his eyebrows at you.
"A week?"
"Yeah, a week. Like… maybe take a little break from each other and let me think this through? I've honestly had a hectic day to last me a lifetime, and as much as I want to meet you in person, this is all a lot to process. Can you just give me a week to think it all through?"
Taehyung wiggles in his spot, nervous about what you're actually implying. You realize it kinda sounded like you were ditching him forever, leaving him high and dry just because he's famous, but that's not what you mean. You just want a break from all this and concentrate on yourself. Mental health should always come first, after all.
"Y-your not-"He swallows the lump in his throat. "You're not saying in a week… are you thinking about leaving me-"
"No!" You cut him off right away, and he sighs in relief. "It's just time to think. Can you give me that, please? It may not even take a week, but I would really appreciate it."
Taehyung still looked skeptical about the idea of you two taking a break from each other. The only time you stopped talking was when he needed to delete his Instagram, and you both were having a hard time about it. He had such a hard time that he broke the silence between you two after a week and texted you.
Ky's right. You've both really have become a part of each other's routine in such a short amount of time. It may have been a different circumstance when she said this to you, but it's still true. You're even feeling a bit of anxiety from not talking to him, but you know you need this. You need this time away, and maybe it will make many things more evident to you.
"Alright," and Taehyung's separate agreement set it in stone.
-
~~ The Next Morning ~~
-
You woke up feeling a lot lighter on your feet. Feeling yesterday's anxiety and worries stay as yesterday's news.
You roll over on your bed and reach for your phone, but you stop. Hesitating to see if Taehyung texted you or not even though you said you wanted a break. You never specified what this break of yours would entail. Only that you needed time to yourself, and will let him know when you were ready to talk about the prospect of you two meeting. And allow yourself to get fully involved with a celebrity like him. It's already too late for the latter, but you need to take some time to think about it.
When you finally pick up your phone to look at any morning notifications, and you see a text from Taehyung... and two from Mara.
Your eyes widen when you see Mara’s contact on your screen. You thought it would take her a while to talk to you again or even suggest to talk things out, but here she is less than a day later. Texting you twice at 7 in the morning.
Mara ㋛ (7:15am): Hey, can we hang out today?
Mara ㋛ (7:15am): I feel bad about how we left things yesterday, and I really want to apologize 🥴
You (7:30am): Okay. When?
Mara ㋛ (7:32am): You free now?
You (7:32am): Yeah, I don't have work until 4 today.
Mara ㋛ (7:32am): Okay. See you in 30
You close out of Mara's messages, and feel weird about how short and grammatically correct it was. Like you were texting one of your old teachers instead of one of your long-term best friends. Ew.
You ignore these feelings for now and then open up Taehyung's messages. Smiling as you read.
V ♥︎ (7:01am): Good morning beautiful! I know you want space, and I'm going to give you it. But I still hope it’s okay for me to text you every morning and night 😬
You (7:33pm): Morning and I think i’ll let it slide lol
V ♥︎ (7:35am): you're smiling aren't you? 😏
You (7:36pm): shhh 🤫
You bite your lip and continue to smile after you exit out of Taehyung's and your's texts. Having these brief texts a day should be fine. You only want time to think, not leave him out of your life altogether.
After putting your phone on silent, you get out of bed and get ready for the day. Trying to stay in a good mood that Taehyung created as you wait for Mara to come over.
-
When you hear the knock on your front door, you feel your mood run sour. It's weird this is how you're reacting to Mara's presence now. Granted, she did treat you like a lower being to her yesterday. Saying you were nothing but used trash. But she was also one of your best friends. You shouldn't be feeling this way about her. You shouldn't be hesitating to open the door, pausing your hand above the doorknob, but you are.
When you finally open the door, Mara is there, and she looks no different than she did yesterday. You weren't expecting Mara to look like trash since she's drop-dead gorgeous, but you were slightly hoping she would look a little more apologetic.
Unlike last time she came over, she waited for you to invite her in. You moved to the side and put out your arm to gesture her to come in, not saying anything as she crossed the threshold into your home.
You smell the familiar scent of daisy's from her favorite perfume as she passes you to sit on the couch and you think it's a little much for just coming to see you. She wears that perfume all the time, but the perfume’s essence hits you right in the face.
You look at Mara curiously as you sit next to her on the couch. Leaning your body, so you're facing her, and she does the same.
"Listen, Y/n..." Mara pauses, and you scoot in your seat a little more. "I'm sorry about yesterday."
Well, that was an easy apology.
"I was just jealous of you being with a guy you really like. A guy that just so happens to be one of the biggest faces for Korea, out of all things, too. I'm sorry, and I feel terrible about everything."
"S'okay. I'm surprised about the whole situation, but I really needed my two best friends to be there. When you started bashing on me instead, I felt more at a loss for words."
Mara nods her head and glances at your hands in your lap. She takes ahold of your hands and holds them in the middle of you both.
"I'm truly sorry, Y/n. I know I'm a bitch, but my overactive bitch mode has been coming out a lot recently. I feel really bad, and I should have been a better friend."
"It's okay. We all get some weird mood swings from now and then. Ky also told me about the guy you were seeing."
"W-what?" Mara, let go of your hands.
"Yeah, and I get you didn't want to tell me about it since the stuff with V - Taehyung was so hectic at the time. But Mara, I'm your best friend! You know you can tell me anything, right?"
You put your hand on Mara's shoulder, and you feel her body go stiff. You furrow eyebrows in confusion and just now realize how weird Mara is acting. You're just about to ask Mara what's wrong, but she stands up abruptly before you can.
"I-I have to use the bathroom."
You watch Mara speed-walk to the bathroom down the hall and don't look away until the door gets shut behind her.
"What the fu-"
Your words get interrupted when you hear a buzzing sound next to you. Mara's phone must have fallen out of her pocket when she abruptly left. You would never snoop on your friend's phone, but Mara doesn't have the 'hide messages' thing on her notification screen.
So when you look down at it, the message you read on her screen shocks you.
Kwang 🍆😍💦: What did she say??? I’m on the edge of my seat baby!!!!
You pick up Mara's phone and stare at the notification with your jaw dropped. You look at your ex's name, the emojis, what he said... and the word baby. He called her baby.
Even as you hear the bathroom door open and close, you don’t look away from the text. Even as you hear footsteps, and then they skid to a stop behind you, you don't stop looking at it. You don't look away from the text until Mara snatches the phone out of your hand. Making you turn and stand up aggressively.
"The guy you’re dating is fucking Kwang?!"
Mara rolls her eyes, and the nervous aura she had on before is completely gone.
"He treats me good." You scoff at her excuse. "He's different now, Y/n. He treats me well, and we've really gotten to know each other these past three months."
"Three months?" You step forward. "You've been dating my abusive ex... for the past three months!?"
Mara scoffs, and you shake your head in bewilderment. Like she just forgot everything he did to you while you were dating and how he practically cyberbullied you every day for months after you broke up.
"That was just a misunderstanding-"
"MISUNDERSTANDING!" Mara jumps at your outburst. "It was a misunderstanding when he practically sexually assaulted me the day we broke up? Pinning me down and trying to shove his tongue down my throat until I bit him! It was a misunderstanding when he wouldn't let me go out with you guys because he didn't trust me enough to not cheat on him? Even though he was the one always having a side piece!"
Your fists were clenched, and you were filled with rage. You haven't talked about these accuracies with your ex in such a long time. Only Mara and Ky knew about the sexual assault. Others, including Taehyung, learned about the cheating and mental abuse he caused you. But what happened when you actually broke up was something you wanted to keep buried for as long as possible.
Until now.
After you were done letting all your rage out, Mara looked at you like you just lied straight to her face. Like you were spitting nothing but nonsense at her.
"As I was saying, he's changed. He doesn't treat me the same as he did you. He respects me and my views. He doesn't even care that you're talking to Taehyung."
Your eyes go wide, and if you weren’t such a pacifist, you would punch Mara straight in the face.
"You told him about Taehyung?"
"Yeah, I wanted to see how he would react. Surprisingly, he doesn't care. He's really changed for me."
You practically see hearts in Mara's eyes as she talks about Kwang. Like him simply 'not caring' about you talking to someone new - that you thought he would be kept secret and didn't need to be said otherwise - erases everything else he's done.
You stare at Mara, completely dumbstruck. You can't believe one of the people you considered the most trustworthy and loyal person to you just betrayed you. Just took your heart straight out of your chest and stomped on it until it was nothing but dust.
"Get out," You whisper. Unable to raise your voice at that moment.
Mara barely hears you but doesn't miss what you say. Taking a step back from you and looking at you wide-eyed.
"W-what?"
"I said get out!" You scream and point at your front door. Feeling tears run down your face and not caring what Mara thinks about them. "Get the fuck out, and never talk to me a-again."
You stutter out the last part of your sentence and regret them immediately. Not because it's not how your feeling, but with those words, you just kicked Mara out of your house and your life.
Mara looks upset for a moment but sobers up quickly. Looking at you now like you're beneath her, just like before, and leaving your home without another word. The second your front door slams shut, you crumple onto the floor. Getting on your hands and knees and sobbing into the carpet.
Your body is shaking, and your cries are loud. Not caring if you disturb your neighbors or if Mara is still around to hear you. You're not able to move from your spot even as your phone rings on the coffee table.
It takes you until whoever is trying to call you texts you instead that you're able to pick up your head from the carpet and look over at it. You slowly crawl over to the coffee table, unable to stand up from how recked your emotions are.
You see Ky's contact come up twice, once from a phone call and another from a text, and you realize it was her that tried to call you. She knew Mara was coming to talk to you, so she was probably wondering how it went.
You call her back since there's no way your shaking fingers will let you type right now, and she picks up immediately.
"So, what did she say? I'm on the edge of my seat right now, girl."
Even though Ky's bubbly personality is showing right now, this makes you sob into the phone because she just said the exact words Kwang texted Mara. The text that just broke your long term friendship.
"I'll be right over."
Ky hangs up the phone, and you drop it on the ground. Going back to being a crying mess on the floor. Pulling your knees into your chest and sitting on the ground in a ball. Crying your eyes out until your now only best friend comes to talk to you.
-
CH 10