I certainly never expected the ramifications leaving the Church would have. Those people were people I was very close to, and grew up being around. My pastor was like a grandfather to me. My Sunday school teacher was literally my grandmother. When you’re that deep in it the pain of leaving is magnified ten fold.
But I had to. I didn’t have a choice. And it’s not about the god. No. There’s a deep, ingrained belief in most of these churches that members of the LGBTQ+ community are an abomination to god. They said that to my face on multiple occasions. And it was always “a message delivered with love” as if saying that somehow undoes all of the toxicity and sting. I was a kid. They had no right to say those things to me.
But they did. The Church and its people, those people that I called my family and friends, whom I trusted and loved, are directly responsible for a lot of the trauma I’ve experienced in my life. They are responsible for a lot of the pain and depression I felt while growing up, and during early adulthood as I tried to figure out who I was.
I don’t speak out against the Church because I don’t like Christians. I speak out against the Church and some of its members because it’s based on a system of oppression that holds back millions of people from ever realizing their full value. I speak out against the Church because no one deserves to go through what I went through. I speak out against the Church because it’s members seem hellbent on turning America into a Theocracy, and that, frankly, terrifies me.
And to all of you who say that this is just a “difference of opinion” and that I should “let it go”, I’ll leave you with this: Morality is the basis by which you live your life. Morality is that basis by which I live my life. Your morals allow for the oppression of minority groups and undermine our fight for liberation, freedom, and equality equity. My morals are underpinned completely by an equitable mindset. So, it’s really not a difference of opinion, its a difference of morals. People are dying. So, no, I will not “let it go” and I will not be silenced so that you can be comfortable in your bigotry.
The blood of Christ is not enough for some sins. And the sins that the Church has committed against me are innumerable. So, remember this the next time some scared kid tells you he likes boys instead of girls. There’s worse things out there. The Church is living, breathing proof of that.
