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Another 2014 Recap--Lessons Learned

Each year is filled with revelations and realizations, and 2014 is no exception to that. Looking back from the life-changing experiences that have happened last year, I’ve encountered many instances that are packed with learning lessons. Some of these lessons are re-learned lessons as I’ve gained more understanding of them not only personally but also from others. So narrowing them down to fourteen, here are my lessons-learned of 2014:

No act of kindness is ever small. Even if the person whom you’ve shown kindness to do not appreciate what you’ve done, the important thing is you did something right. Afterall, we show kindness not so we can be acknowledged for it, but to help make this world be a better place for everyone.

People forget. We can’t always hold a grudge over someone who has forgotten the things we’ve done for them, may it be big or small.

The bullies are the real losers. Bullying can be anything from physical bullying to cyberbullying. Cyberbullying have risen up last year, especially with the advancement of technology. Yet, let me discuss a particular kind of bullying that has played a drastic role not only in my life but also in others: covert bullying. According to the National Centre Against Bullying, covert or hidden bullying is "often harder to recognise and can be carried out behind the bullied person's back. It is designed to harm someone's social reputation and/or cause humiliation. Covert bullying includes: lying and spreading rumours, [...], damaging someone's social reputation or social acceptance." Sadly, I happen to know a certain individual who does the things mentioned above. This person has a habit of fabricating lies to cover up his/her own misdemeanors, and backbiting others to his/her own glory. Though this person has been confronted several times about this kind of behavior, the cycle has not ended yet. In the end, this person has lost the respect of his/her friends. If you are a bully yourself, why choose to make enemies instead of friends? What makes you think putting someone down will earn you a decent amount of dignity? Individuals who are like that eventually fall; and when they do, they fall hard.

Lie at your own risk. Author of a highly acclaimed autobiography Mi Vida, José N. Harris has once said that “there is beauty in truth, even if it's painful. Those who lie, twist life so that it looks tasty to the lazy, brilliant to the ignorant, and powerful to the weak. But lies only strengthen our defects. They don't teach anything, help anything, fix anything or cure anything. Nor do they develop one's character, one's mind, one's heart or one's soul.” Always face the truth no matter how much the truth will hurt you. However, if you chose not to face the truth, then you have not spared yourself from stupidity. The liar is only fooling himself. Besides, who wants to live a life full of pretenses and guilt?

Your stubbornness is at your own disposal. Hardheaded people often get themselves and others into serious of trouble.

Bad things happen to kids who don’t listen. My kindergarteners would know this saying by heart. Apparently, this saying applies to us adults, too. I can recall the many times I got into so much trouble, made many mistakes, embarrassing myself, all because I’ve forgotten to do one thing: LISTEN.

God is always right. Do not force God to see things the way you do in hopes to justify your wrongdoings. There will never be a logical reason for doing something wrong. No matter how much we justify our intentions, a wrong deed IS a wrong deed.

Humility goes a long way. Being humble is one way to build a good character. Be happy by someone else’s achievement. Appreciate what others do for you. Cherish those who have made a good difference in your life. Encourage people and don’t hinder them from reaching their own potential just because you only want to be better than them. Don’t place yourself above others by stepping on their toes. Don’t take all the credit for yourself, but share the rewards. The world out there might seem like a competition, but arrogance can only lead to self-destruction.

Control your emotions; don’t let your emotions control you. We can’t control the weather or the traffic jams on the road. We can’t control people’s way of thinking no matter how much we try and we certainly cannot control any force of nature. We cannot control any circumstances in our lives no matter how much we want to, but hey, at least we can control our emotions. Our emotions, if left unchecked, can be a dangerous tool not only against ourselves but also against others. If we let our moods get in the way, we tend to make poor judgments; and poor judgments can lead us to do things that we’ll later regret.

Say no to self-pity. My Mom would always remind me and Jea of this. Humans as we are, we falter from time to time but great things happen to those who choose to rise above their failures and work even harder. On the other hand, misery only comes to those who choose to whine and complain about their difficulties in life. There’s no medicine for self-pity but determination. Everybody encounters problems, you’re not an exception.

Don’t hold anyone accountable for all your actions. You did it, you answer for it. Take full responsibility for your own behavior.

Dispose the drama, not the person. BUT if the person keeps bringing in the same drama, then you may dispose them as well. Life is all about keeping treasures, not garbage. Just like how Miss Taylor puts it, “Shake it off!”

God is always watching. A simple reminder for me to always strive to do the right things and never go against His will.

This leads me to say, acknowledge God 24/7. Each time you wake up in the morning, think of what you can do to make Him love you even more. If we always put God on the top of our list, we’re giving Him reasons to be nearer to us.

We need to focus more on things that give value to our lives to avoid making the wrong choices; because there are lessons out there where we don’t necessarily have to learn the hard way. We don’t need someone banging our head on the wall just so we can make sense of things all the time. Also, we must put into practice whatever good lessons we've attained, less they become useless. The lessons are there to remind us not to fall back and do the same mistakes again. These lessons constitute wisdom that can be shared among many for their own self-improvement, as well.