#performance poem

[books-on-the-brain]

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“How is someone less human if another has shared their love and flesh?” 

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My first slam experience!

My first slam experience!

So last night was the first time I performed in a slam poetry competition. This time last year I was only just about getting up on stage and reading page poems in my SU. I feel like I’ve come a long way. Me (right) and Rhianna (left) before competing in the slam The slam Rhianna and I competed in was Inkbomb‘s monthly event, which is based in the Loco Klub in Bristol. The Loco Klub oozes…

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[thewordsicanneverhide]

Tonight No Poetry Will Serve

Tonight, no poetry will serve. Tonight, our books won’t save us. There is no TV show, Or absent God, To wrestle this harsh reality from our lips.

Tonight, nothing will pacify us. Tonight, our eyes will remain open. No pill will quiet our screams, Or calm our struggles, We cannot escape.

Do not avert your gaze. Do not retreat to safer ground, Do not let them pull you away. Tonight you will face the dark. Tonight it will swallow you.

You cannot escape, And this is terrible. This is tragedy, This is pain, and suffering, And you are it’s creator.

Tonight no poetry will serve. Only your soul will do.

[thewordsicanneverhide]

Broken Dishes

I always expect to replace dishes. They're rather fickle, And prone to disappearing, Or breaking right when you need them most. I always remember that things are just things, And you can't let your happiness depend On a thin piece of glass or porcelain. But I wonder when I started calling myself a plate, When I first called myself magician, Made a disappearing act out of my spine. I wonder when I first called myself fragile, Learned what it meant to break, and how to glue the pieces back together again. I wonder when I started calling myself a 'thing,' Not a masterpiece, Or a work in progress, Or a person.

[thewordsicanneverhide]

I Am Dead.

I am dead. Which is to say, I feel dead inside, Or, I am sad and lonely, and probably depressed, AKA, I miss my friends.

So I call them. Which is to say, the thought of calling the people who would make me less sad and lonely and depressed gives me anxiety, so I text them. Or, I type out a long message, stare at it for 30 seconds, and then delete it immediately, which is to say, I am still alone. I am alone with my thoughts, which is to say, my thoughts are too loud, AKA my thoughts are smothering me, Or, I can't breathe, Or, I can't cry, Or, I can't speak. So I write. Which is to say, I click open my pen, set it to paper, and wait, AKA, I spend 30 minutes staring at blank paper, so, I give up trying to turn my pens to swords; I find more consistent methods of expression, Or, I find my blades again. I thought I lost them, which is to say, I put them in the back of my closet, AKA I only LOOK at them twice a week, AKA I write on my skin instead, Or, instead of ink I spill blood, which is to say, I am dead.

[thewordsicanneverhide]

Progress

I laid silently on my floor today, waiting for someone, anyone to come rescue me from the chasm of my loneliness, soothe the yawning ache in my bones, slay the monster that has made its home inside my gut, to tell me I will be okay.

But no one came.

That, I thought, would signal my end, give this blade permission to scar again, allow the darkness to breed in me, spread my pain the way poison rips through veins…

But it didn’t.

I picked myself up off the floor, today, brought myself up from the pits of hell, slayed my own demons, or at least refused to feed them, calmed my own seas, told myself I am okay; I might not be whole just yet…

But I will be.

[thewordsicanneverhide]

How to Love Yourself

1. Learn to say no. There are two types of people in this world: Those who give, And those who take. Invent an in-between.

2. Dress in whatever makes you happy. Life sometimes throws us curveballs we are unprepared to hit. Don’t let life catch you in high heels When you need to be in tennis shoes. Unless you’re working on your calves, In which case, be careful not to roll an ankle.

3. Love the skin you’re in. You only get one body; Love it. That means eating right, exercising, Not because society tells you to, But because it makes you happy and healthy. Dress your skin in whatever makes it happy. If that’s water color tattoos, fine. If that’s lotion and sun light, great.

4. Make time for friends and family. If we only ever talk to ourselves, We go a little crazy. Find friends and family members Who are good for you. Accept their support, And support them in return. This is what life and love are all about.

5. Learn to take your own advice.

[thewordsicanneverhide]

An Ode to Black Mothers

This here is Mother Earth, smelling of soil after quenching showers, anchoring fingers in my hair like roots, caressing my scalp with warm argan oil. This here is Mother Wolf, baring her teeth in the face of nightmares, singing bedtime lullabies composed by the moon, curling around her babies tight, no matter what age. This here is Mother Tongue, teaching us the ancient ways, showing us how to bite and soothe, filling our bellies with sweet sustenence. This here is Mother Militant, wearing her brown skin proudly, fighting for our people, calling me to join her. This, here, is Mother.