“I’m closing up kid, go home.” Nathan, the gym owner, says. “Sure.” I reply. This is the thirteenth night I’ve been here until closing time this month. Been needing to blow off steam and the constant headache isn’t helping either. I unbind the cloth from my hands and pack my bag Quickly I snatch the beer off the table and hide it in my bag. As I walk by. “And leave the beer. Don’t think I didn’t see you.” Nathan snorts. I put it back on the table and put on my worn out jacket. I leave the small gym and walk back home. Dark clouds are blocking out the moon light, making it darker than usual. Maybe we’ll get a white Christmas this year after all. Another one I’ll be spending alone. I cross the street and pull a rope lowering the fire ladder down. I climb up to the roof and look over to the orphanage. I love nights like this. No one’s out, no one’s talking, no one’s awake. Just me and the city. I skip over the roofs, running into cats and pigeons, my bag bouncing off my back. The way is lightened by the street lights and the moon, peeking through the clouds every now and then. The orphanage is coming closer and closer every building I cross and eventually I climb down the ladder, back onto the streets. I jump down with a thump and push the ladder back up. “Wasn’t your curfew a few hours ago?” A little too familiar voice asks me. I turn around. “What do you want, Gabe?” I say into the darkness. “Nothin’, just saying hi to my good friend Hadyn.” I can’t see where he is but to the sound of it he’s not alone. “Haven’t seen you in months. Hear you got adopted again. Stole anything nice for me?” He says stepping into the light. Followed by him is his little group of druggies. “What do you want? I know this is not just a ‘hello’.” He snaps his fingers. Two broad shouldered guys step forward and grab me. I struggle from their grip almost breaking free but they punch my nose and grab me tight. Shit, I think it’s broken. “I heard you’re running again. Leaving town, right? Is the little girl scared?” He says mockingly. I stay quiet. The blood is streaming out of my nose. “Why, you must think? Well because of our little ‘incident’ last spring in school.” Shit, this is not going to be pretty. I need to get out of here. Despite him living here his whole life, I know this place better. Not as in, where to take who on a date, but more like, where to escape who. For instance, there is a manhole right behind me that I can follow north to get closer to the orphanage. I could easily lose them in the maze down there. A little higher up there is a hole in the wall just big enough for my 5 ft. 5 to crawl through. From there I could get back up to the roof and escape. If it wasn’t for the fact that they have knives and guns and are out to hurt me. I was stupid to return here. I knew I should’ve left when I had the chance. “But you can’t run now can you? No safe hiding spots, no cops nearby” He steps closer. “It’s just you and me, little girl.” “No, not just you and me. It’s you, me and your pals. If you were a real man you’d let me go and fight.” “You know? That whole honor thing you have, has always been your problem. Your pride is too big. But not me. I-“ I interrupt his speech by kicking him in his stomach. He turns his face from me but I can hear him whining. “You sonnova bitch. Oh wait, your mom’s dead ain't she?” “You don’t want to go there with me.” I warn him. “Left you on the side of the road as a baby.” “Shut up.” “Poor baby Hadyn.” “I swear to god when I get out of here you’re dead.” “Don’t you mean if you get out of here? And how are you planning on doing that? Look around you. You are outnumbered by five to one!” He says. He kicks me in my stomach to prove his point. I cringe. That hurts like hell. “Let her go, Gabriel.” A new voice says. In my head, I’m basically rolling on the floor from laughing about what’s about to come. I know this voice. I know this voice very, very, very well. “Who is there? Show your face you coward!” Someone yells out. I can hear him changing his position. “We’re the cowards? Way to be hypocritical, Gabe.” He says, making his voice sound deeper. Ah, making it seem like there’s an army hidden in the shadows. As inconspicuous as possible I look up. Smart move, coming in from an unseen point and taking advantage of the height. I see him pick up a rock, and he nods to me, sticking up three fingers. “On the count of three, you run.” I can almost hear him say to me. In my head I count. One, Two. I raise my foot and flash a mischievous smile to Gabe. Three. I crash down my foot on the guard’s, loosening his grip. Quickly I pull myself loose and escape them. At the same moment rocks are hitting heads everywhere making his group scatter. I turn around and see Gabriel trying to escape out of here in the chaos. I follow him onto the streets. “Come back here y- Ow.” I say rubbing the back of my head. I’ll never catch up with him now. I turn around facing my rescuer. “Thanks Lo-“ “The hell are you doing out here at this time, you had to be home hours ago.” Logan says. “I was at the gym and on my way back I ran into Gabe, Nothing major.” I say walking back into the alley. “I’m not sure if I believe that.” I shove aside the loose board in the fence and slip through. “Hadyn you have been acting up weird lately. You come home late, miss dinner, school reports that you've been missing a lot of classes and you've been absent-minded a lot.” He climbs over the fence. “What’s going-“ “Stop acting like that.” I say interrupting him. “Like what?” “Like you’re my dad. Like we’re damn family. Because we’re not.” The sound of two pairs of footsteps on gravel turns into one. But I keep walking. I don't look back. Looking back means doubting what you did. And I don't. Never do. In no time I reach the iron gates of the High-hills orphanage. In all its gone glory, the three story, mainly wooden building looms up. A place I will never to be able to fully call home. I try to open the gates but they’re locked. Great. I walk around the wall looking for the hole. Normally I don’t even bother using it. I have keys for the gate. But I left them on my nightstand since I won’t be using them anymore after tomorrow. I crawl through and make sure to cover up the hole again. I leave my bag in the shed next to my motor. Gabriel may be an ass but he was right. I’m leaving. Again. But like always I’ll return here eventually. Maybe in a year, maybe a month. Heck, for all I know I might be back here next week. I shut the shed and walk up to the house. I take the spare key from under the gnome and open the door to the stuffy old house. There are fourteen kids in the house. Most of them under the age of eight. Logan, Emily and I are the eldest three of the house. They have been here most of their lives. They grew up here. This ugly old heap of wood is their home, not mine. I go upstairs into my bedroom and lie down still fully dressed. I’ll be leaving early in the morning to avoid goodbyes. I've never been strong with words. And it’s not like I’m gone forever. I need to know more about where I come from. It kind of bothers me not to know who my parents were, where they are from, and maybe if I still have any family. Of course they wouldn't take me in, they would have done that 15 years ago, but just knowing is enough for me to move on. But for my next clue I’ll have to go to Japan and my plane leaves in the morning. Since it’s clear sleeping isn't going to work for me, I leave my room and go up to the roof. I walk up the stairs and enter the attic. No one has been sleeping here in years. It’s all stuffy and gross but full of interesting stuff. Checkerboards, an old rocking horse, empty closets, filled closets, creepy old dolls, that kind of stuff. I open the window and climb out. Carefully I climb higher up and lie down. The sky has cleared out somewhat and the stars are visible again. A lullaby wrings its way up into my thoughts. Haven’t thought about it in years. I remember singing it to myself when I would be sad or scared when I was little. I start humming it softly, singing along in my head. At the end of the third verse I stop. Why don’t I remember the words? It’s like I know that there is a last verse but I never heard the full song. Also, who taught me the song? It’s not in Japanese, so it couldn't have been there. And before that. Well, I was a one year old found at the side of the road. There wasn't anything before that. “Hadyn? Is that you?” Logan calls out from the window of the attic. “Yeah.”
“May I come up?” He asks me somewhat carefully. “Sure.” I reply. Swiftly he climbs up and sits down next to me. “I… uh.. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for… well.. whatever it is I did wrong.” He says. “I guess I’m sorry too. For yelling at you. And stuff.” “I know, I was there.” He says jokingly. No one says anything for a while. “So is it true then? Are you leaving?” He asks me. “Yeah.” I reply quietly. “Where to?” “Japan.” “Heh, so when I’m asleep you’ll be awake.” We fall quiet. Sometime later he stands up and walks back down into the attic without saying a thing. Seems like I’m not the only one who’s bad at good byes. Well if I’m here anyway, might as well spe- “I’m moving in.” I hear someone whisper. Or at least I think I do. I look down into the woods behind the orphanage and look very closely. Nothing. But I swear I heard something. Must be getting tired. My eyes feel heavy too. I guess I can take a nap before leaving. I roll onto my side and close my eyes. The sound of the wind rustling through the trees lulls me to sleep.
barely see a thing. The smoke is too thick. The damn house is on fire and I slept through it. Shit, how am I going to get myself out of this? “Hadyn, can you hear me?” Emily yells from the front yard. I skip over to the edge and see her and all the others standing in the garden. “The house is on fire. You need to get out!” “Yeah no shit, Sherlock!” I yell back. I pull my shirt up so it covers my mouth. I can’t breathe too much of this stuff I could pass out easily. My path down is blocked so I can’t climb out. Jumping would most likely mean death. I could try and jump for the trees but there are spikes on the wall that could skewer me if I miss. Basically, my options aren't good. I look down again. There are, one, two, four, twelve people huddled together in front of the gates waiting for the police and firemen to arrive. Wait. Twelve? There should be thirteen people down there. Twelve children and the ‘dad’ of the house. Logan is missing. I rip off my sleeve and bind it in front of my mouth. I have to go get him. Funny, today he saved me and now I have to go save him. Guess fate doesn't like him being in debt of me. I climb down through the window and look around. Good, the fire hasn't reached the attic yet. Quickly I take the money that was hidden in a closet and run downstairs to his room. It’s empty. Completely burned and empty, filled with flames. Quickly I back out and run further down. No one inside would still be alive. But he’s still here. He is alive. I can feel it. I check every room I can until behind me I hear a high pitched scream. Quickly I run into the room and behind the flames I see Logan, his body cocooned around a little girl who was left behind. “Logan!” I yell. No response. “Alice? You okay darling?” “Yes.” I hear her say in a small teary voice. “Okay just… just stay calm I’m gonna get us out of here. Just don’t move.” I take a deep breath and jump as high as I can over the fire. A few flames touch me, but nothing major. I smother the flames on my pants and lift Logan off her. “Listen to me. I’m going to get us out of here, no matter what. Okay? Uh…” I look around me for options. We can’t go back through the fire. I could carry her but Logan would be too heavy. So there is one more option left. I open up the window and pick Alice up. “We’re going to jump now but I need you to be brave. Just close your eyes and don’t open them until I say so.” She nods and closes her hazel eyes. With my other free arm I drag Logan closer to the window. He must’ve breathed too much smoke and passed out trying to protect her. Poor guy. I carefully climb out of the window and make sure that I my back faces the ground. If anyone of us will survive this it’s Alice. And I simply can’t let Logan behind. Maybe he’ll survive the fall. Maybe he won’t. But he got no chance of surviving in there. I take a deep breath and count down from three in my head. Three. I look down over my shoulder. Two. Please let them live. One. I take a step backwards and fall off the building. A funny feeling forms itself in my stomach and I can’t help but smile. I had a nice life. And a hero’s death. With two loud thumps, we hit the ground. The sound of my bones breaking is too loud not to hear. “Can I open my eyes?” I hear Alice say. Her voice sounds distant though she is right next to me. With my last breath I manage to speak out. “Yes-“ Before all goes black.