#persfav

[nhl-lastnight]

(386): for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable

(1-386): apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop

[nhl-lastnight]

(845): I’ve hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.

[nhl-lastnight]

(952): Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.

[nhl-lastnight]

(612): There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.

(763): like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo

(612): Wat

[nhl-lastnight]

(913): You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory

[nhl-lastnight]

(314): At what point during this road trip should I let him know I’ve been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can’t take my turn driving?

[nhl-lastnight]

(980): Optimism doesn’t exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.

[nhl-lastnight]

(503): It’s a shame when you put all that effort into being fuckable and no one takes you home.