#perslab

[quaintrelle-on-the-loose]

Halo-halo din nararamdaman ko kagabi kasi kilalang-kilala at alam na alam pa rin niya mga gusto at ayaw ko. Shet niloko niya ako pero tangina kabisado pa rin niya ako. Kaiyak. Haha!

[quaintrelle-on-the-loose]

So kagabi, natuloy yung gala (with other friends ofc kasi nga marupok pa tayo bes lol) kasi bigla niya akong sinundo nang walang pasabi. Tapos nung ihahatid na niya ako pauwi sa bahay bigla ba naman niyang sinabi,

“Ano? Uwi na rin ba ako sa atin?”

Buti nalang nakontrol ko bibig ko at di ko sinabing, “Ang tagal kaya kitang hinintay bumalik mga por yirs.” Hahahaha pero de, langya pa rin siya! Malandi. INSENSITIIIIB!!!!!! Hahaha ampait

[ellegineer]

Nakakapagod kang hintayin pero hindi pa din ako sumusuko.

[deliriumdelilaaah-blog]

And I'm thinking bout you. First love yata kita. Patay.

[choicexx]

First love never dies.

I am a second year high school student back then and im trying to change myself that time kasi medyo rebelde or nag rebelde ako. Not to the extent na nag iinom or nag yoyosi ako, but i did something that would really disappoint my family. They decided to transfer me sa Catholic school malapit samin. Wala akong kakilala and i am trying so hard to fit in sa paligid ko. Until i became friends with people, including him. Nung una, di ko naman talaga siya gusto kasi akala ko gusto siya nung friend ko. Pero naging friends pa din kami. Naging magka text, araw araw magka usap. Hanggang sa nalaman ko gusto ko na siya. Di ko alam kung bakit. Siya at yung friends nya ang laging na bubully sa school. Weird daw sila and good boys kasi sila lahat unlike dun sa iba naming kaklase. 

Few months after, nanligaw siya. And i think mga 1 month or more din siyang nanligaw. Buong time ng panliligaw nya sa school at phone lang. Minsan wala pa yung sa phone kasi grounded ako lagi kasi nga nawala yung trust sakin ng family ko. The day i decided na sagutin siya, saka naman siya huminto sa panliligaw. He promised me na ganun pa din kami so ayun ok pa din although i got hurt. December, he asked me again and at that moment saka ko na siya sinagot. baka magbago ulit yung isip e. Haha. Tumagal kami ng 5 months, and his reason was because sagabal daw siya sa pag aaral ko. He blamed himself na dahil sa kanya kaya ako nawala sa honor roll, when in fact di talaga ako qualified kasi di daw allowed na maging honor roll ang transferee. But i respect his decision, i believed him na walang magbabago samin and he’s just one call away pag kailangan ko siya. But after that? Ang tagal bago niya ako kinausap ulit. Kahit na lagi kami nagkikita sa school. Nabalitaan ko din na sila daw nung common friend namin. Sila daw nung taong pinagkatiwalaan at naging sabihan ko ng mga bagay pag nag aaway kami. I cried. A lot. Kaso, yun naman pala, di totoo. I focused on my friends and my studies. Good thing about him is, naalala din naman niya ako kahit papaano. Binigyan pa din niya ako ng retreat letter nung 3rd year, sinayaw nung prom at nagkakausap din kami sa phone kahit na may girlfriend na siya that time. Naging consistent akong honor student hanggang maka graduate. I did entertain guys. Even his bestfriend. Pero, it didn’t worked out. Ganun din dun sa ibang guys who told me na gusto daw ako. Well, after him, wala na akong naging ibang boyfriend. Until now. :)

After highschool, i tried to keep in touch with him. But one day, i decided to unfriend him on facebook. Pati na din lahat ng friends niya. I added them after a year or 2 years na ata? i can’t remember because i became busy with my studies i even forgot about them. I think this year or last year ko lang sila naka usap ulit. And im glad he was doing fine. Di ko lang magets kasi ang cold ng pakikipag usap niya sakin, He even asked me kung bakit ko pa siya minessage. Na kung tungkol lang daw yun sa unfriend thingy, wala na yun. The truth is, idon’t know why pero i have this feeling na i wanted to talk to him and i missed him. Birthday niya last october and then i greeted him. He seemed so glad na naalala ko birthday niya without the help of facebook. Suddenly, he told me na namimiss niya na ako, na he wanted to see me and if papayag ako he wanted to go out with me. Ilibre ko daw siya since its his birthday. And pag birthday ko naman, ako naman ililibre niya. Totoo man o hindi, bigla kong naramdaman na i always wanted to talk to him. Yung feelings ko noon, bigla kong naalala. But now, wala eh. He’s ignoring me for some reasons i don’t know. And i just thought that, baka ayaw niya na akong maka usap. And then, be it. :(

[mademoisellekathhhhhh]

Ang dami kasing “what ifs”. Ang daming “bakit kase”. Haaay. Ayoko ng ganitong pakiramdam. Hindi ko alam kung paano kita kakausapin kung dumating ka sa Sunday. 7 years na e. 7 years na. Pero bakit ang sakit sakit pa rin. Bakit parang kahapon lang :(

[lazypotatocouch]

6.30.2015: To the boy who first won my heart

As I try to look back on the years behind us, a whisper of hope blossoms from the depths for us to cross paths again. A vision of us awakens from the dormant corners of my heart where the remnants of our past lies. I browse through the photos of our memories and feel that familiar lump in the throat, sting on the eyes and pang on the chest. Indeed, so much has changed from the old us from seven years ago - beautiful changes, as I see it. Seeing where we are right now cements my pride and joy knowing that the painful story we lived by was for a purpose - that the distance was necessary in forming the better versions of our present selves.

But as I reminisce from the ashes of our memories, I can't help but question - would it really be too much if I ask fate to let us meet again? No, I'm not asking for another shot at love, but merely a chance for us to show how much we know now. When circumstances drifted us away some time ago my heart knew then that when the time is right, when we're settled and have proven ourselves to the world, we'll eventually find the way back to each other. I'm not sure how long it would take, or how it would happen - I just know, our story won't end with a heartbreaking bitterness.

And so, as these fingers continue to stroke the letters to transcend into the physical world the thoughts haunting since time I can't remember, my heart utters the silent wish I've been trying to bury for the longest time. I yearn to see you again, to hold you, to feel your warmth next to me. I hope to see you again.