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The real reason that I like the slashers specially the ones with scars became I have one ,scars I mean. it happened when I was really Young I got it from a clothing iron (this is for its called I don't know) so slasher like bramhs, Jason,bubba , Vincent And Thomas are Special to me, well you know why
One of my favourite hobbies is making poems about polyamory and relationship anarchy using Magnetic Poetry.
I don’t think there’s a clear, definite answer to “is polyamory queer/LGBT+” but what I do know is when I see the polyamory flag in a list of pride flags my heart glows in my chest
on romance, and what on Earth it is
I’ve been wondering for a good while now how to define romance, and after JD finished with me because there was no “romantic spark” I’ve been even more keen to understand it myself.
I asked around a little, and my dearest friend J told me it’s “where someone is really annoying but you don’t have to leave the house to stop yourself kicking their head in”. I relayed this to my friend N and she replied “oh, by that logic I have romantic feelings for all my friends”
So. I had been pondering. Last night I was on night shift at work, and the three of us had stepped outside for a smoke, and I was having trouble with my lighter. My colleague lit his cigarette, and then kept his lighter aflame with his hands round it to protect it from the wind, and then I put my hand on his to steady myself and put my face almost into his hands to get the fire to the end of my cigarette*, and my thought was, this was pretty... intimate.
I should point out that that particular event isn’t meaningful in itself; night shift always is a bit more intimate than regular work, and I’m always a bit flirty with him anyway, though I wouldn’t be interested in him outside of a work context. But what suddenly clicked in my brain is that if something feels specifically intimate, then that’s what feels like romance for me. Intimate is a word that’s hard to describe, too, but it has much more of a feeling than romance itself does.
It’s that urge to be closer to someone than I would usually feel safe doing; things I’d feel self conscious about with platonic friends. Dancing together, or using my sleepy baby voice; falling asleep together; being so caught up in looking at each other that you forget the rest of the world exists; sharing secrets. And a less positive test for is this romantic/intimate: if it happened between me and a partnered monogamous person, would I hesitate to mention it in front of their partner, even if it is technically harmless?
It’s still a definition in progress, and I think it’s a personal thing: some people will completely reject this definition. But I’d love to hear what other people think so please tell me your thoughts! (especially if you’re non-monogamous)
*I know some of you younger ones look up to me a lot. DO NOT START SMOKING. It makes you smell terrible and makes you feel like shit, all the time. If I hear any of you smoke I’m coming after you.
Life updates?
After I invented a total crisis in my own head about JD, I then sorted out my head and ever since things have been going really well. He's so cute and lovely. At 1am he decided what I needed was tea and biscuits, and then just kept giving me biscuits until I had to say no, too many biscuits. When his wife went to bed, me and him had a really good handsy make out session. He's been really good at taking things slowly in that way and letting me lead for these things.
I also bought his wife L a onesie, the like pyjama material kind, which she was delighted about and put on immediately. I'm a big fan of buying presents for no special occasion. Then we decided to get one for JD's girlfriend since I've already got one the three of us can all dress the same. Not weird and cult like at all obviously, but funny.
Ughhhh man he's just... He smells lovely and I like touching him and I felt so safe we both fell asleep cuddling while waiting for my taxi. And he's so delightfully awkward which I just absolutely love. I'm trying not to catch feels because I think I do that too hard, but oh guys, I like this one.
Due to a favour I'm doing for her, today I received post in V's name with my address underneath. Ouch my heart 💔
So last night was the first time our corner of the Non-Mono group did our semi-regular movie night since me and JD started dating.
So the crowd was me, M, JD, JD's wife (L), JD's girlfriend (S), the woman who S is sort of seeing (C)*, and the guy that L is seeing (shit he's also a C person... This got complicated fast. Call him CA), plus three of J&L's mono friends.
It was a really lovely time. JD is new to poly and an adorably awkward type person but he balanced "there's three women here I want to give attention to" like a seasoned pro.
I went on a shopping adventure with S to get snacks. S is amazing. We have the same name and she turned up in my exact uniform (tiny denim shorts, tights, sleeveless top with an open check shirt over it) though luckily I'd worn a dress instead so we didn't look like twins. We fully play up to the fact that we have the same name and are very similar in many other ways and she's just amazing to be around. We ran about the shop getting ridiculous snacks and we lost M but... Well... He's used to it. And we found him again.
C is also incredible and somehow I managed to convince her to be in charge of handing me things like drinks without me even asking her. There was a moment when I was just sat between C and JD while they both rolled joints at my request (beautiful ones too, I love a person who's good with their hands) and I just thought, I am so lucky. There are brilliant, thoughtful, funny, clever and beautiful people in my life who enjoy my company. I don't know what I did to deserve this but I am going to appreciate the fuck out of it.
We took advantage of there not being enough seats by L sitting on CA's lap, or JD sitting at mine and S's feet, and so on. Just very cosy, very comfortable, very... Normal, I think. People think poly is going to be awkward but it just feels right. It was raining when we went out to smoke but do you know if you huddle together a lot you can get five people under two umbrellas? It's a good job JD was holding on to me though because I had a tremendous feeling of falling over-ness. He put his arm round me while his wife explained to me that I could use him for balance as he never falls over, while my boyfriend caught up with JD's girlfriend indoors.
Poly isn't complicated, you guys. It isn't. Sometimes it just works.
I think I've landed myself a polycule, guys. And it's filled with incredible people. Now M has had to dash off but I'm just lying in his bed listening to the pouring rain and just thinking about grateful I am for everything I have.
*I too would like to date C (and I think she likes me too). She's feministy and beautiful and has so much charisma and presence. She speaks her mind constantly but never in a way that would be hurtful. She's got bright hair and wears dresses with ice creams on. Ethics are super important to her, which is essential. And she makes me laugh.
