Tap into Your Deep Answers — easily
Stay in the relationship or leave?
Take the new job or hang on to the security of the old?
Buy a new car or pay repairs on the old?
I hate not knowing, and at the time it feels like I will never know, but that I should know (and there is something wrong with me for not knowing).
Ask her to marry me or wait?
Keep living here, or move to where things might be better?
Even the small questions can hang us up, like Paint the room sky blue or eggshell white?, but the big questions can send us into a fog of confusion, like What do I want to do with my life?
Sometimes any decision is better than living with the negative feelings of uncertainty; so, with an angry shake of my head, I push myself to decide. For better or worse. Now!
2 Ways to Decide
Logically — thinking, even listing the pros and cons; or,
Listening — opening to a deeper answer
Logic gives us the feeling of control (as we consider the various possibilities), and we choose the time to decide. But logical answers are not always the most energizing and fulfilling in the long run.
In contrast, deep answers can do us the most good, both short and long term, because it is what we want on the most fundamental level.
So, why don’t we know those deep answers now?
Four good reasons:
1. Should: This simple word can cause great confusion, like the time my brother was going out with two women: one had been doing a lot to help him, and he felt he should be with her (out of gratitude).
The other woman? He liked her more.
He had been back and forth for a while, trying to decide, when I told him what I have told myself many times since: throw out the should and go with your desire.
2. Listen — We are often too busy to stop and listen. And yet, giving ourselves a moment of quiet is exactly what can bring those answers (as well as a greater measure of peace).
3. Realize the truth: You are the only person on this planet who really knows you. You are the one with the answers, your answers, the ones that work best for you. And, You are the one in charge.
If you find yourself doubting this, doubting you, repeat the truth to yourself (silently, shouting from the roof, or written and read). And keep repeating it until the light shines through.
4. Stop blocking — We block our answers by tightening against the negative feelings of not knowing, and then tighten even more as we try to squeeze out an answer.
Letting go releases the knowing within.
4 Steps to Receiving
1. Allow — let the discomfort of not knowing be okay; struggling only tightens body and breath.
2. Relax — sit comfortably, take a deep breath and breathe out any tension. Let go of more tension with each out-breath.
3. Ask — When you feel relaxed, gently ask yourself (in barely a whisper), What do I want/want to do?
4 And Let go — do not try for an answer or even look. It will come to you (all on its own).
If, after a few minutes, it does not, or the answer is not clear, let it go until the next time; but you might not have to wait. Your answer can come to you at an odd moment during the day or even the middle of the night.
In general, give yourself a little quiet time each day (a walk; watching the sun rise; or just sitting with yourself).
It is good for those deep answers, as well as the stress of a busy life.
P.S. For more like this click: DanielSperaw.com