#personal ish?

[vampstappen]

manifesting max falling in love with me in hungary when i’m at the race (i’m talking real wattpad y/n fanfiction type meet cute and love at first sight)

[godzilla-reads]

I don’t want to read Fourth Wing.

I don’t want to read ANY SJM.

If another person recommends these books to me I’m gonna scream.

[holdingthreenotebooks]

A student apparently entered my email address into a letter of recommendation request form without contacting me about it first (or since?? it's been a week??) and I'm sort of at a loss for what to do. Like I do have positive memories of this student, and they probably aren't aware that this is pretty bad etiquette, but I would've said no if they asked bc I genuinely don't have time to write a decent recommendation.

So now I'm wondering if I should just not respond, try to contact the student for more details, or fill out a half-assed recommendation. Also, I have no idea when this decision needs to be made bc the form has no deadline and the student hasn't sent me any information. I'm using ruminating on this to avoid other work so feel free to weigh in!

[klirk-hammurton]

Passing (a) kidney stone(s) is not fun. I am in so much pain. My spine is on fire. My legs are literally shaking from the pain. I can't afford to go to the hospital so I'm having to tough this out on my own. My kidney feels like it's been beaten with a sledge hammer. I literally broke down crying at work, the pain was so intense. It's been coming in waves for the past 14 hours. I swear if this is what childbirth feels like, I'll have my uterus removed.

[dollwritesarchive]

Here’s where my headspace is...

*this is going to be a long, honest post. i only ask that you read through it all, and try to put yourself in my shoes before you respond to it.

with so much news of recent plagiarism and being stolen from myself, i’m honestly now apprehensive to put anything on this blog that i might potentially want to turn into something more than just a fanfic. NO ONE SHOULD BE REPOSTING MY FICS AT ALL, REGARDLESS OF CREDIT, but as of right now, there are no tangible consequences for this thievery, especially not on websites that are more likely FLOODED with stolen works, like Wattpad. not to mention, chaptered pieces are HARD for me to write. i work full time, most of the time more than 40 hours a week, and i’m consistently on call until 2-3 in the morning, every. single. night. 

if i’m going to be killing myself to create something so dear and important to me, i don’t want it being ripped off.

i’m also a little disappointed in the amount of feedback i’ve gotten recently. let me explain this really quick.

i do not write to get notes. i write because i love to write, and if i didn’t, i wouldn’t do it. writing and maintaining this blog, as well as my patreon now, takes up a huge chunk of my time and my personal and social life suffer dearly in result. i write at work, i write at home, there isn’t a time i’m not working on SOMETHING. but, usually i don’t mind at all. i live inside the worlds i create in my mind and express via these stories and i enjoy them. i do this because i love to. i don’t want a ton of likes and reblogs, and i won’t stop writing even if i don’t get them. this is not me begging for notes. this is not me scolding my readers for not giving me notes. notes do not equal happiness to me.

reblogs are loved, because it helps to reach other people with similar interests to my readers that may not follow me, but i do know and respect that there are plenty of users on tumblr who don’t reblog fanfiction to their account, and i cannot blame you for that at all. it’s your blog, and you reblog whatever you want. i appreciate every single reblog i get, because it opens up another door to more audiences, so thank you to all my readers that reblog my works!!

however, if you read my pieces, feedback is so important to me. beyond likes, beyond reblogs, feedback is key. a reply to the fic or even in my ask, i don’t mind if it’s anonymous or not. when writers don’t get feedback, they begin to lose confidence in their writing, at least i do, and ever since feedback has drastically dropped on this account, i’ve been feeling more and more down about my writing and the quality of it.

if you like something about the piece, tell me! even if it’s a keyboard smash or a reaction gif, i still love to see how my writing made you feel. you don’t have to go into a three paragraph essay about it, i’m content with very simple feedback as well as complex. i love it all.

that was only a very short segment of this post. i really wanted to talk about my chaptered fics. mostly, WET, Bullets for Bucky, and To the Death.

i’m going to be moving these pieces to my patreon, as well as any other pieces longer than 5 parts. i know this is going to upset plenty of people, because so many of you love some of these titles, and i love you for loving them! upsetting you or taking these works away from you is not my intention. i don’t want you to feel like i’m being unfair, or hate me for moving them somewhere a bit more secure. having them as patreon exclusives does give me a bit of relief knowing that not any random person can copy and paste them into their own accounts. these are my stories, with worlds i’ve created, and i don’t want to lose them. however, i’ve given it A LOT of thought, and i think that this blog should be one shots/mini series only. let’s not forget about my requests list, that is at least 2 miles long.

i pour my heart into writing chaptered works, and they are exhausting to do, especially when i am constantly working as well. 

the mentioned works will be continued, but they will patreon exclusives. i did make another tier in my patreon specifically for chaptered fics, for $5 a month. which, by all accounts, is a completely fair rate in my opinion. if anything, it’s cheap considering how much effort i put into these pieces. 

i know not everyone has the financial stability to pledge, and trust me, i get it. i love you all anyways, and i hope you can understand why i’m doing this as well. if you pledge, thank you so much and i hope to bring you not only conclusions to the pieces you pledge for, but brand new, exciting works in the future that will make you happy that you decided to support me. 

if you cannot pledge, then your support via reading my free pieces on tumblr is still very much loved and appreciated! <3

i love every single one of you, and i truly hope you all can understand why i’ve made this decision. 

[komaedafan112]

I am going to consume my hatsune miku plushie during a mental breakdown and no one can stop me.

[muffediller]

Relistened to balance recently uhh and lucretia is just so good? I love her so much she was so goddamn lonely? She just wanted to help and idk just big feelings,, like i forgot how much i love her shes so multidimensional best im crying i stan one (1) fictional character and it is lucretia madamedirectoradventurezone

[nefarious247]

Deadpool is my favorite superhero because I too am an ugly person with nothing to lose or live for, cracking jokes and living life without care because I have nothing to care about.

He’s just relatable, and that’s the whole of it.