idk how much this matters since this account isn't really active anyway, but i've changed my mind about romanticizing the academy broadly and my institution specifically. i've struggled mentally and financially throughout my time in grad school, and there have been multiple times when i would've been homeless if i didn't have family who could help me, even with the pathetic stipend from my school.
i love teaching, i love my work, and i should be able to do it without worrying about affording to live in my city. i won't keep pretending it's all pretty buildings and stacks of books. institutions will never love you, in fact they won't even take care of you.
so idk what this blog is now, of if i'll even leave it up. but i'm done with the aestheticized bullshit.
After having gone thru acct recovery a couple times early in the days of OneDrive, I got the vibe that saving ANYTHING to a propriatary service was a huge mistake, ESP anything MS. Nice to see that vibe continues to check out.
MS does not care how many years of your life you have backed up to their cloud- they can take it away/delete it for any reason at any time. Keep your stuff local on an external drive.
Pauline Oliveros, To Valerie Solanas and Marilyn Monroe in Recognition of Their Desperation, (Vinyl/LP), ROAR21, Roaratorio, 2011
To Valerie Solanas and Marilyn Monroe in Recognition of Their Desperation: for any group or groups of instrumentalists (6 to large orchestra), Smith Publications, ca. 1977
Valerie Solanas
1936-1988
The Demale Society
Manhattan SCUM Chapter
Member #013666 since December 1966
Founder of the Society for Cutting Up Men
Author of SCUM Manifesto
Playwright of Up Your Ass
Marilyn Monroe
1926-1962
Movie actress
Born Norma Jean[e] Mortenson
Lived as an orphan and as a foster child until age 16
Nominated for the 1956 British Academy Award for "Best Foreign Actress" in The Seven Year Itch
«The players are distributed widely within a space, in groupings, each with its own conductor. The piece (in this performance) lasts 30 minutes, trisected into 3 ten-minute sections delineated in sequence by red light, yellow light, blue light. Before the piece begins, each player chooses five pitches. During the red section, players begin exploring one of their chosen pitches. At about the 7 minute mark, a white light flashes, after which the players gradually incorporate pitches 2, 3, 4 and 5. In the yellow section, players are invited to steal pitches from other players. Blue light signals cessation of stealing. At about the 23rd minute, another white flash signals gradual return to one pitch.
The piece is meditative in nature. Its title is not descriptive but dedicatory.»
― from the concert program of the 1977 performance
«Shortly after it was published in 1968 the SCUM Manifesto by Valerie Solanas fell into my hands. Intrigued by the egalitarian feminist principles set forth in the Manifesto, I wanted to incorporate them in the structure of a new piece that I was composing. The women's movement was surfacing and I felt the need to express my resonance with this energy. Marilyn Monroe had taken her own life. Valerie Solanas had attempted to take the life of Andy Warhol. Both women seemed to be desperate and caught in the traps of inequality: Monroe needed to be recognized for her talent as an actress. Solanas wished to be supported for her own creative work. Commissioned by the Music Department of Hope College, Holland Michigan, To Valerie Solanas and Marilyn Monroe in Recognition of Their Desperation had its premiere in 1970. Though everyone knew Marilyn Monroe hardly anyone recognized Valerie Solanas or took her Manifesto seriously. I brought the names of these two women together in the title of the piece to draw attention to their inequality and to dedicate the piece.
In the score all players have a non-hierarchical role. The parts for the piece are the same for each player and within the given guidelines each individual interprets their part differently. If any player starts to dominate the musical texture, the community that is created by the piece absorbs the outstanding sounds back into the collective. To recognize this composition as a feminist piece it would be necessary to read the SCUM Manifesto and to study the player's parts.»
― Pauline Oliveros, October 2010
October 6, 1970 – Wichers Hall, Hope College, Hope, Michigan
Buchla Electronic Music System: Pauline Oliveros, Jan Siderius
Flute: Pamela Ryker, Susan Bos, Mary Rockwood
Organ: Roger Davis
Strings: Harrison Ryker, Roger White, Suzanne De Vries, Joseph Filonowicz, Robert Ritsema, Glenn Stuart Jr.
April 7, 1977 – Crowell Concert Hall, Wesleyan University, Middletown, Connecticut
Conductors: Nathan Shimabuku, Teddy Klaus, Tom Hilton, David Claman, Eric Ranvig
Violin: Anna Barron, Pam Chapperon, James DeCaprio, Leslie Greengard, Margaret Holtzberg, Claudia Lewis, Georgia Mook, Fran Pepperman, Susan Rappaport, Pam Schwartz, Mark Sicbin
Viola: Jane Kurz, Monica McCarthy, Guitele Nicoleau. Flute: Marcia Finger, Sharon Avrutick
Oboe: Ruth Rotholz, Barbara Johnston
Clarinet: Tom Moran, Anne Wilson
Bassoon: Chuck Agosta, David Hiscox
Cello: Eliot Bailen, Wendy Breuninger, Julie Burstein, Tom Loder
Bass: Sarah Kendall
Horn: David Engstrom, Ruth Axelrod, Bill Rowe
Trumpet: Jon Mink, Robert Blumenschine
Trombone: Rich Brown
Percussion: Skip Lombardi
Electronics: Ron Kuivila, Tom Miller, Gary Grimaldi, Nancy Rosenberg, Kathy Bergeron, Greg Shatan, Fred Briccetti, Julie Burstein, Nathan Shimabuku
Artwork: Judith Lindbloom
Produced by Pauline Oliveros and James Lindbloom
Plus: Golden Offence Orchestra, Ode to Pauline Oliveros: To Valerie Solanas and Marilyn Monroe in recognition to their desperation, Composed by Pauline Oliveros, Adaptation by Golden Offence Orchestra, Recorded by Mats Erlandsson, David Granström and Maria W Horn in Stockholm, 2013. XKatedral, August 23, 2017
Have you seen the new movie? It's on library. It's literally on the library. It's on library without ads. It's literally on your local public library. You can probably ask for it on your library. Dude it's on your library. It's in the original case too. It's on library. You can watch it at the library. You can go to your local library and watch it. Register onto your local library right now. Go to your library. Dive into your library. You can watch it. It's on there. Your library has it for you. Your library has it for you.
Have you seen your post? You can see it at library. It's at library. It's on the library staff cabinet. It got printed out on paper and put up on Library.
you'll get the urge as an artist or a writer to say out loud the things you're worried about "the proportions are off" "kind of out of character" "i'm not good at summaries" "didn't get as much detail as i wanted" "i made a mistake and here's how" and that's the self-conscious part of your brain telling you "it's bad and if you don't tell them you know it's bad then they'll think you're stupid" but you've got to ignore that little voice and pretend you think it's good or else that little voice is going to ruin your life
Some of the best advice I have ever gotten was from a creative writing professor. She said never apologize for your work. Never critic it before someone else does.
Her reasoning was you are the creator. You made your work from nothing and can see all the flaws and seems and holes. But your audience may not see any of it. Maybe they will; maybe they won't. But if you TELL them about the holes and the mistakes and the problems....they will 100% see them. So don't tell them. Don't sabotage yourself just because you think you're not good enough.
11.6.2025 Finished a dissertation chapter revision yesterday, and sent off a book chapter proposal on Monday. Really gotta get some vitamin D supplements and stop trying to power through seasonal depression.
really wish people would look where they're going instead of at their phones while walking. i promise whatever reel you're watching will keep until you get where you're going. i promise the group chat can wait.
10.23.25 This is the year I finish my dissertation, and also the year I reactivate this gradblr! What's the point of being around all these collegiate neogothic buildings if I'm not posting about them sometimes
It's really annoying that my pen threw up and got ink all over my hands when I opened it (wasting the last of what was in the cartridge) but at least it makes me look very dark academia
Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡
If you are doing confidential work, including work that involves SSN's or HIPAA, you must turn this off. Your clients can sue you and/or your employers of you don't maintain confidentiality and security protocols.
