Just plain happy; thankful
Before this date, I have just been through weeks of stress - among many other feelings and emotions associated with it - days of constant sleepless nights, anxiety, and pressure. Actually those days didn't happen unexpected; it is the typical, normal, part of my student life. This was a week after my major national admission test and two weeks prior I had a class outside school in preparation for this major test. And a week before that class was our finals juggling alongside with our thesis. The gist is that everything was so stressful that it even manifested in my health. Moreover, apart from pressing on our finals and undergrad research, the major test is also a major part of my future. The pressure was just, immense.
Moving on, I just have this story. I belong in this community and annually we held youth camp trainings for prospect service team members and discussion facilitators. I am part of the core which organizes such called events. This date was set weeks, months or even prepared a year prior. Incidentally, I was specifically, randomly asked if I could take the second talk. I believe in grabbing opportunities and so I agreed. I remember giving this talk before in my chapter but not in a cluster-wide event. I was asked beforehand during my juggling days. Admittedly, I haven't prepared enough. I said to myself I didn't but I believe I gave what I can afford to give. But before that, before even preparing in giving this talk, I was told by the person who asked me to speak that it was specifically difficult, the hardest one of all the four. I didn't have this idea before. Another pressure thwarted. However, he gave tips on how to deliver it which was good and helpful for my part. Then another person told me again that it is a very challenging talk - filled with symbolisms and apparently real-life, currently happening situations that need to be addressed with conviction yet in a subtle way. Trying hard to be a sponge in absorbing all these, I was open for suggestions and help.
Hence I gave the talk. I actually had several hugs from the person who asked me to deliver it and fellow core members. I had words of encouragement. While actually waiting for my turn, I was just outside the venue meditating and praying for divine intervention. In addition, it was nice that someone pointed out that it was a good idea that I brought with me (and part of my talk) was a bible. I just gave my heart out in His glory and as the spirit led in giving that talk. I hope I got the message across.
Not a distraction, but it was like a good two-thumbs-up when you see your fellow leaders smile as approval when you look by them - especially by the one who asked you to deliver it.
Okay, so after I gave the talk. I was just plain happy. Blissful. I offered that to Him. Also, my head who specifically asked me, was glad I gave the talk (well, as I thought). It meant a lot to me. Because I personally admire, treat that person as a model of excellence. Moreover, it was heart-warming that he personally said that he "chose" me. In which at first I thought I was randomly asked. It was a very unique feeling hearing these lines, "Do you want to know why I chose you?", "Because I believe you (and the rest of the most i-wanna-thank-you-lines)". I believe he said that twice or was it just me in bliss. One he said while in the middle of a hug. Just, uplifting.
It is just a very selfless thing to do. To believe in others - knowing they have something to give and encouraging them. It heals. It is probably also one of my favorite feelings, knowing someone believes you have something inside of you and actually wanting that potential to be developed - for you to grow.
This event has made me through in sometimes, unbearable circumstances. I learned that words can heal, especially those of affirmation. More especially from the people you look up to. This event has made me believe that that specific moment was meant to happen. That the struggles I have been through before that specific date was bound to happen and everything after that will be okay. I don't know or I can't express my feeling but as of now I just wanted to immortalize this gratitude by blogging it. I thank You for letting me experience this and having me be surrounded by such angel friends who fight the good fight.
