#peter is done

[ghosteccedentesiast]

*The marauders sitting in the dorms, bored*

Peter: What would you want done with ur dead body?

James, confused: Umm, I mean - I'd want it buried?

Sirius: Yea, same-

Sirius, laying on Remus' Lap: Except for my middle fingers, I want them chopped off and sent off, one each to my parents

Marauders: . . .

Remus, shrugs: Eh good idea, send mine too!

James, nodding: Me three! But maybe sending the whole hand would be more effective?

Sirius, thinking it over: Hmm, yea, good thinking, Prongs!

Peter: . . .

Peter: Uhh, I think I'll keep mine

[startledstoat]

Peter: that shirt looks good on you

Sirius: thanks?

Peter: it'd look better on Remus' bedroom floor

Sirius:

Remus: are you hitting on sirius for me

Peter: Well somebody fucking has too

[blushing-starker]

Listen, if manager!Peter has to stop another indoor fire because boxer!Tony tried to cook again, he's gonna tear Stark's sandbags, dump it all over his bed and quit. Pepper always said she'd be happy to have him help out with her own champion. And he gets along with Rhodey, so win-win.

[archivistsrock]

Sometimes I really relate to Peter.

[mxacegrey]

Peter just gets back from patrol only for the alarm to assemble to go off unfortunately for the villain a tired Peter's insults are meaner and crueler in manner and the battle is over in ten minutes minimal damage

Peter:

Villian:

[vlahosblahos-blog]

oh hale no

i bet stiles stilinski said this to peter once