hi! i love the way you write and i was wondering if you had any takes on what the marauders would see in the mirror of erised :)
As I am a wolfstar blog first and foremost... I may have channeled that into this piece a little
Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi
“Sirius, you speak Latin... what does it say?”
“That isn’t Latin, Prongs, and it’s a little concerning that you don’t know that.”
Remus looked up at the inscription on the mirror and tried to make sense of it. If it was an ancient language, it was not one that he recognised.
It had been James who had found the mirror. He had come running back to the dormitory and was grabbing the invisibility cloak, insisting they follow, before any questions could even be asked.
They were not in a room that Remus recognised. That wasn’t hugely surprising, seven years at Hogwarts and the castle was still a vast expanse of unexplored rooms and corridors. It did seem strange, however, that if this mirror really was something amazing, as James swore it was, that he’d never heard or read about it before.
“James, it’s almost one in the morning and it’s freezing, can you just show us, please,” Peter pleaded.
James stepped in front of the mirror, beaming. “Ta-dah!”
Sirius just sighed, “Yeah, alright, you’re very pretty, mate. There is a mirror in our dormitory though and I see enough of your face without you having to—”
“What?” James cut him off, turning to face them. “No, look at my reflection, actually look at it.”
Remus stared at it, blankly, “It’s just you, James. I don’t understand.”
“You...you can’t see it?” he said, slowly, “look, it’s— Sirius, stand here, okay?”
Sirius shrugged and swapped places with James. Remus didn’t miss the way his face went pale and his posture changed. “What the fuck is this?”
“It’s us! In the future or something!” James said, grinning. “Us four and... and Lily. It means this army thing Dumbledore want’s us to join, we make it out! We’re happy, we’re—”
“That’s not what I see,” Sirius said, solemnly. “James, I don’t know what this mirror is, but it doesn’t show the future. It can’t.”
“Desire.” Peter had said it so quietly Remus thought he might have imagined it. “The inscription,” he said, this time loud enough for all of them to hear, “it’s backwards, but it’s English. I show not your face but your hearts desire.”
Sirius gave his reflection a final glance before turning and stepping away. “It’s stupid. That’s not—” he folded his arms and looked away.
“What did you see?” James asked, cautiously.
Sirius just shrugged, “Doesn’t matter. Pete, you go.”
Peter slowly stood in front of the mirror and watched it, expressionless for a moment. “Oh.” Remus watched him, curiously, waiting to see if he’d tell them. “I’m, uh, I’m on the quidditch team.”
Sirius looked up from the floor, brows furrowed. “Pete... you hate flying.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said sadly. “I think it’s more like, uh, well Remus is a prefect and James is head boy and quidditch captain and you’re on the quidditch team and, you know, you. I think I’m just seeing me as... included or something. I don’t know, it’s stupid.”
Remus felt his heart give a painful tug as Peter stepped away from the mirror. James was on him in an instant, ruffling his hair affectionately. “You’ll always be included here. You’re a marauder.”
Peter smiled at that before turning his head to Remus. “You going?”
Remus walked over towards the mirror and waited to see something. At first, he thought maybe it was broken, somehow. He stared at his reflection and just saw himself.
Except it wasn’t him, not quite. His scars were gone. He felt his throat close up slightly and his eyes drifted towards the top of the image in front of him. There was a full moon but his reflection was unaffected.
He felt his eyes sting and he stepped away. “Let’s go to sleep.” If his friends wanted to ask him about it, they refrained themselves.
It must have been hours later that Remus was awoken to the sound of a soft knocking on his bedpost. Sirius.
They’d slipped into each others beds on bad nights ever since they were twelve. Recently, however, there hadn’t been so much of that. Remus put it down to the fact that they were both eighteen now. Maybe Sirius just found it weird.
Remus didn’t. He pulled back the curtain and sure enough, Sirius was standing there, eyes a little red. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologise.” Remus scooted over and cast a silencing charm, Sirius sitting next to him.
“What did you see in the mirror,” Sirius asked, quietly.
“What did you see?”
Sirius sniffed and ran a hand through his hair. “My family,” he said, voice almost a whisper. “But they, uh, they loved me. In the reflection. I don’t—” his voice cracked slightly and he cleared his throat.
“I have gone my whole life trying not to care what they think of me, trying not to care that I’m not good enough for them, and then I look in that mirror and it tells me that no matter how hard I try, I still do. I still want them to love me. It’s stupid, I… I hate them.”
Remus didn’t think he’d ever seen Sirius look so sad. “You do have a family who love you,” he said, cautiously. “Us. Me, James, Pete. The Potter’s. I know it... isn’t the same.”
“I know, I know. I love you— you guys as well. That’s why I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want you to think that, I don’t know, that you weren’t good enough, or something.” Remus placed a hand gently on his arm and Sirius smiled weakly. “Go on, what did you see?”
“Me. But I’m not a werewolf. I didn’t have scars and I was unaffected by the moon and I was just... normal. And you guys spent so long becoming animagi, something which has helped me so much, and I didn’t want to say anything in case you... well, thought that wasn’t good enough.”
“I’m not going to pretend that isn’t a perfectly reasonable thing for you to want because it is. Us two haven’t been dealt the best hands in life, you know? We both have... I mean our demons are completely different but we still understand each other. Don’t we?”
Remus nodded, “We do,” he said, softly. “You staying or going?”
Sirius shuffled himself properly under Remus’ duvet in favour of giving an answer and Remus lay down too. “Night,” Sirius mumbled.
“Hey, Padfoot,” Sirius hummed in acknowledgement. “I know it isn’t the same, and I know I said it earlier, but we do love you.” And it was so, so close to the words Remus had been dying to say for a long time.
“Yeah, well, we love you too. Furry problem and all.” So, so close to the words Remus had been dreaming he’d hear in return.
