#pff bingo

[bibybuck]

HOTline

pairing: Dan Howell/Phil Lester

rating: explicit

word count: 2.5k

summary: When Phil's computer breaks, he calls a hotline...

beta and love by @amethysthollis

for @phandomficfests bingo. squares used: help hotline, handjobs, oral sex

[read on ao3]

[combeauferre]

safe place

when dan has an argument with his dad, the only place he wants to be is in the north, in phil's arms

for the bingo prompt "writer's choice" (parents)

read on ao3 

"Okay, sweetie, how about you go and have a shower? Leave me your phone and I'll ring your mum, yeah?"

When Dan's gone, Kath breathes a sigh. She picks up her own phone first, dropping a text to Phil and her husband to come home as quick as they can, before she takes up Dan's phone to ring his mum.

It only rings twice before someone picks up.

"Dan? Thank God."

"Hi, Mrs Howell," Kath begins. "This is Kath, I'm, uh, Phil's mum?" She hears a huff down the phone, something she hopes isn't a sob.

"Kath," Dan's mum breathes.

"Dan's here." She doesn't need the question to be asked.

"Oh, Kath, thank you so much." She does hear a sob, then. "Has he been with you long?"

"No, only about five minutes."

"Can I speak to him?"

"I've sent him up to shower," Kath tells her, "It's raining buckets out there, and he was soaked through when he got here. Didn't want him catching a chill." 

There's a shaky breath on the end of the phone. 

"Mrs Howell, is everything alright at home?" Kath asks tentatively. "I know it's not my place but... he seemed quite upset."

"He and his father had quite a nasty fight," Dan's mum says, quietly. "I thought Dan had just left to go let off some steam round the block, but then he didn't come back and-"

"Hey," Kath says soothingly. "It's alright, he's safe, okay? We'll make sure he's fed and gets some rest, and we'll send him back when he's ready. It seems like you've got enough on your plate already, maybe it will do the two of them good to have some time apart."

She really feels like she's overstepping at this point. She has no right to ask about Dan's home life, or to suggest what's best for this woman's son and husband. She stiffens, expecting Dan's mum to snap at any second and tell her to bugger off and send Dan home right this instant. It doesn't come.

"Thank you," Dan's mum breathes. "Thank you so much, Kath, really."

"It's the least I can do, Mrs Howell."

"Please, it's Karen," Karen says softly.

-

Nigel is quick through the front door and into the kitchen.  

"Kath, is everything-" Nigel stops when he sees Dan sitting there, his hands round another mug of tea. He's wearing Phil's York hoodie, hunched over and curled up in his seat to make himself smaller. "Oh. Hello."

"Hi," Dan says softly.

Phil follows in behind him with a bag of shopping, but he drops it when he sees Dan. His hair is still wet, his eyes are wide and scared.

"Dan?" he is quick to Dan's side, enveloping him in a big hug. "Is everything okay? What are you doing here?"

Dan does his best to hold back his tears then. It's what he needed, those big arms around him, that Phil smell next to him. He feels a couple of tears fall, and turns his face to hide in Phil's jacket.

"Me and dad had a fight," he says, his voice cracking slightly. "He called me a... a..."

"Shhh," Phil whispers, running his hands through Dan's hair. "You don't need to tell me what he called you if it's too much, okay?"

Dan nods silently, allowing himself to breathe in Phil's scent and relax a little in the safety of his arms.

-

His mum rings again that night. He's nervous to pick up, but he knows he owes it to her.

"Hi mum," he croaks.

"Dan," she breathes, "You had me worried sick."

"I'm sorry," he whispers. If he raises his voice too much it'll break.

"I'm not mad, sweetie," she tells him softly. "I'm really glad you have a safe place to go if you need to, yeah? But you have to tell me." Dan sniffs. He's trying really hard not to blubber, but he hates that he worried her. "I just need to know you're alright."

"I'm alright," he tells her.

"I spoke to Kath earlier," she carries on. "She told me you're welcome to stay as long as you need. Just let me know when you're coming home and I'll send you some money for the train, yeah?"

"Ok. Thanks mum."

His throat is dry when he hangs up, but he feels better for having spoken to her. Sometimes he feels like he's too hard on her, when he thinks she's being a bit of a shit mum. But it's times like this that remind him that, really, she's human too. She has flaws and sometimes it's hard to be perfect. But she cares about him, she loves him and she's happy for him that he has Phil. Even if she doesn't know how he has Phil.

It feels like enough, for now.

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

Something so magic about you

Prince Daniel and his servant Phil wake up one morning - in each other’s bodies. They’ve been cursed, and now have to go on an epic quest involving dragons and lost crowns to be restored to their own bodies. But will they make it? And will they still be the same afterwards?

10K / Prompts: Magic AU & Body Swap

Written for the @phandomficfests Bingo 2019. Betad by @obsessivelymoody

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[fourthingsandawizard]

PFF Bingo 2019 - Masterlist

*One of my fics ended up taking on a life of its own, spiraling into a much longer chaptered story, and at the time of Bingo closing, only has the first chapter posted. The dark purple squares above are squares already filled, the light purple are squares that will be filled by the time the chaptered fic is completed

Firewhisky

Rating: Gen

Words: 1752

Summary: Dan is fast asleep at Hogwarts when he gets a 2am call from a Firewhisky-fueled Phil in the club

Bingo Prompts: writer’s choice (magic au), drug/alcohol use, birthday

Read on ao3

I Might Grow Out of It (A Galaxies and Greenhouses Prequel)

Rating: Gen

Words: 2498/?

Chapters: 1/?

Summary: Discovering you're somehow different from the rest of your family can be difficult; realizing you're even more different than you originally thought can be devastating. All the magic in the world can't help Phil 'grow out of it,' but embracing those differences may just help him realize how magical he really is.

Bingo Prompts: writer's choice (magic au), sibling relationships, symbolism, missed train, motion sickness, rejections, tatinof, secret admirers, and Vegas

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[alittledizzy]

shake the glitter off your clothes rating: t word count: 2k Summary: Phil takes Dan to Vegas to celebrate his 21st birthday. Notes: For the @phandomficfests​ Bingo prompt: Vegas. 

[read on ao3]

The room smells like cigarette smoke and too-thick perfume, a scent that crawls into Phil's throat and lingers there uncomfortably.

His mum would hate it, he thinks. His mum would scowl her face up in disgust and shakes her head and stomp right back outside, muttering under her breath all the while.

Phil hates it, too, but it still feels right. The smell feels like part of the experience, like 3d texture on a painting made of bright lights and shouting, drunken voices. He hates the smell but he breathes it in deep because this is the smell of Las Vegas.

*

Dan's a wild sort of happy here.

His eyes are wide and he's taking everything in. He's like a kid on a playground, eager to explore though every few steps he runs away he turns back to make sure Phil is still there.

Phil's right behind him every time, sometimes so close that their bodies bump together as they weave their way through the people. Some areas are wide and open, and in others there are huddled four deep around a table.

"Are you gonna be a high roller tonight, Phil?" Dan asks.

He's practically sparkling. It makes Phil's heart feel big, swooping things. Dan's always beautiful, but he doesn't always sparkle. Sometimes his beauty is a dark, gloomy thing.

"We don't have enough money to be high rollers," Phil tells him.

Dan grins. He's already sweating a bit. He looks exhilarating. He’s got his camera in his hand, ready to capture all the memories. "Come on, Phil. Let's pretend we're millionaires tonight."

"Okay," Phil says, because they're not millionaires but they're something closer than they were a year ago, and tonight he'll ignore how weird and wild and sometimes scary it is and pretend with Dan.

*

They sit at side by side slot machines. Phil’s had three drinks and they’ve all been free. He’s not actually sure what any of them were, but Dan’s having fun ordering and Phil’s enjoyed them all.

He also likes the bright lights dancing on the machine. He can’t remember how much money he started with but the numbers jump and drop in almost even turns. He’s not out so he’ll keep going, watching things spin and spin and spin, listening to the music piped in loud throughout the building and the happy shrieks and noisy crowd sounds all around them.

He looks over and catches Dan’s eye. “Good?” He asks.

“What?” Dan can’t hear him.

Phil leans in closer and puts his lips to Dan’s ear. “Are you good?”

Dan does that smile where his eyes crinkle a bit at the corner and he nods. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Phil turns back to his machine and pulls the lever again. He knows the button does the same thing, but pulling the lever just feels more appropriate.

The machine lets out a shrill alarm and a series of deafening dings. “Dan, Dan, Dan!” Phil slaps his hand against Dan’s shoulder a few times. “I think I won!”

Dan leans over, putting his weight on Phil’s shoulder so he can look at the screen. “Damn, Phil,” he says, whispering. “Guess you really are my sugar daddy tonight.”

Phil is just drink enough on the drinks they had with lunch and the drinks they had while walking around at sunset and the drinks they’ve had on the casino floor that he smirks and says, “Guess I am.”

*

Dan gets bored of the slot machines and wants to mark something else off his Vegas bucket list.

Phil liked the casino floor better. That was nice, back there in the bright wide open.

He's got one finger hooked into one of Dan's help loops, because this place is dark and no one will see and his heart is pounding in his chest with a feeling like Dan could disappear in here.

There's a woman on a table and she's dancing.

He's not going to think about why that's so scary. He's not going to think about why Dan hasn't dropped staring at one of the women in at least two minutes. Phil's not even sure he's blinked.

He really doesn't like this place.

Dan looks over at him suddenly. His eyes are bright, shining, and it's still beautiful but right now it makes Phil want to cry in a weird way he'll work hard to repress once he's not so drunk.

"Phil," Dan says. Everything sounds like it's on a delay. They're both drunk.

Can they just go yet?

"Phil," Dan says again.

"What?" Phil asks.

Dan fumbles in his pockets and comes up with a wad of singles. Phil's heart sinks to the floor. Of course that's what Dan wants. Dan had been so excited earlier when he'd gotten them after cashing in his meager winnings.

Phil knows there's nothing really going to happen. He knows Dan's going to leave with him. He also knows he agreed to this, because Dan wants the whole Vegas experience and made it sound like it'd just be a laugh.

There's a woman on the table without her shirt on and Phil doesn't really feel like laughing. He wonders if Dan would let him just leave, so Dan can put the dollars in places Phil doesn't think about. Maybe if he-

Dan shoves the bills into Phil's hand. "I want you to touch her," Dan says, almost tripping over his words in his obvious excitement. "Please. I wanna see it."

Phil takes the money almost on instinct, on habit. "What?"

Dan leans in close and whispers hot in Phil's ear. "Please. I wanna see you touch her. Then I want to go back to our room and I want you to fuck me."

Everything is upside down in Phil's head, but something about Dan's voice puts his heart back in it's right place and makes everything else surge with sudden arousal. He's too drunk to feel so many things in such a short time.

He lets go of Dan's belt loop, kisses him quick and hard just once, and then lets Dan push him toward the table.

The woman kneels down, legs spread wide. Phil doesn't look. "Hi there, sweetie," she coos. Everything about it feels manufactured and he thinks it's weird how her tits don't move but he lets her take his hand with the money still clenched in his fingers and guide it skimming down her chest to the strap of her thong. She leans in close, chest right in front of his face. She can probably feel his breath on her nipples.

He shoves the money in fast, so fast she laughs at him. It's not a mean sound but she says, "Nervous, baby?" and he has the stray thought that his mum and dad helped pay for this trip and how horrified would his mum be if she knew this is how he was spending it?

He politely says, "Thank you," to her and then turns around. He's sure he'll have not given Dan what Dan wanted - and it's Dan's birthday after all - but the awkwardness that drenched the moment doesn't seem to matter.

Dan grabs his hand and pulls him out of the dark hotel club.

*

He falls asleep after sex, and when he wakes up he feels a lot less drunk. Not entirely sober yet because there's still a cloud of fuzziness clinging to him and no hangover to speak of, but his thoughts feel clear and a lot more controlled than they had before.

Dan's not in bed beside him anymore. He's standing in front of the window and he's completed naked, his body a pale nice shape in front of the inky dark of the sky and the well lit city underneath.

"People are going to see your willy," Phil says. His voice sounds scratchy.

Dan looks over his shoulder and rolls his eyes. "It's Vegas, Phil. There are more interesting naked people to be looked at than me."

"Nuh uh," Phil argues.

"You're biased." Dan's voice sounds throaty, his private night time voice. "It's only eleven pm. We're bad at doing Vegas, Phil."

Phil rolls over. He could sleep again, probably, but he doesn't want to close his eyes when he could be staring at Dan's bum instead. "Do you want to go out again?" Phil asks.

He'd really rather not.

Dan looks at him. "What do you want?"

"I want ice cream," Phil says.

"We could get ice cream," Dan says. "Nothing closes here."

Phil sits up. He scratches his chest, then stretches his arms over his head. When he's finished with his stretch he realizes Dan is watching him and smiling. "Okay," Phil says, realizing he hasn't answered. "Let's get ice cream."

*

They stand in t-shirts and jeans with sex hair (and Phil's pretty sure still some dried come on his stomach that's itching him) outside a restaurant that looks too fancy for them to be even let in.

But they are, because Vegas cares more about what your money looks like than what you look like.

"Do you want to eat here?" Phil asks. He's not drunk enough anymore for this to feel more nice than exhausting.

A woman in a tight red evening dress walks by. She's got a small child by the hand, and the child makes a funny face at Phil. He thinks to ask Dan later why a lady would have a kid in a Vegas hotel at nearly midnight. People are weird. People in this city are weird, and it makes him feel weird and like nothing is quite real.

"Let's take it back to the room," Dan says, and Phil wonders if maybe Dan isn't feeling a bit of the same.

*

They eat chocolate chunk and pistachio gelato from containers on the already messed up bed, because Dan says they need to keep one safe from Phil's mess so they can actually sleep.

"I can't believe you got all of that," Dan says, because nestled in the bag still is a slice of Italian cream cake and a creme brulee.

"Their menu was too nice," Phil says. "I want to go back tomorrow for that sundae."

"Okay," Dan says. "We'll go back tomorrow for the sundae tomorrow."

He doesn't think he wants to go back to the club with the women. But if Dan wants to, he probably will. Looking back, it wasn't all that bad. She's just a lady doing her job.

But mostly it's that Dan's smiled a lot all day and Phil will probably do whatever he needs to in order to keep it that way.

Phil almost asks what else Dan wants to do tomorrow, but he decides he'd rather not know. Dan's probably got a lot left on the list of things he wants to do and it's not that it'll all be awful, it's just that sometimes if he thinks too much about something he ends up being afraid of it whether it's really scary or not.

Phil sneaks his spoon over to taste Dan's pistachio. Dan tilts the cup toward him, letting him. He's got that sleepy look about him finally. When his gelato is done he lays down on the bed with his head near Phil's hip, one hand tucked under his cheek. Phil reaches down to stroke his hair. Dan deserves nice hotels and fancy drinks. He deserves things that make him laugh. He deserves to be able to lay his head down and sleep without his head so full of badness, and Phil hopes that's what's happening right now.

He rubs his fingers against the base of Dan's neck and feels Dan sigh into it.

Phil didn't know it was possible to want to take care of a person this much. Dan in his tender moments, Dan in every moment, makes Phil want to move mountains. It made him find the bravery to ask his mum and dad for money to take Dan to a place he wanted to go to celebrate his birthday.

Las Vegas might never be the sort of place where Phil feels comfortable in his own skin, but for Dan he’ll try every new thing.

[ordanary]

spilled intentions

rating: g

word count: 2.6k

series: pff bingo

summary: it’s dan’s first day of uni and things are going decently until a black haired boy in his year spills coffee all over his jumper– and then it’s suddenly going wonderfully.

[read on ao3]

this was written for the ‘university’ square of my @phandomficfests bingo card, as well as the day one prompt of ‘first day of college’ for @spookyweekbfs’s fictober. i’m a multitasking lesbian, deal with it.

[obsessive-fics]

Title: Be My Forever

Word Count: 1.6k

Rating: T

Summary: Dan and Phil renovate a house and finally get their forever home (and a dog)

A/N: This was written to fill the prompt “forever home” on my @phandomficfests bingo card.

[Read on Ao3]

“This is it?” Dan asked, looking around the house in disbelief. Their real estate agent had told them it was a bit of a fixer upper, but that it had a ton of potential. And then he’d introduced them to their contractor, Hilary who’d completely wowed them with her design ideas, so they’d bought the house sight unseen, and Dan was already starting to regret everything.

“You’re not seeing the potential! It’s a blank canvas, we can do whatever we want with it,” Phil replied, gesturing around to the empty house. Dan looked down at the greying white carpet, unconvinced.

“It’s a shithole,” he pointed out.

“Well that’s why we have Hilary. Remember all those designs she showed us? Lots of natural light, hardwood floors, plants everywhere…” Phil trailed off, gesturing around the house.

“I remember. I just don’t see how we’re going to get any of that here,” Dan answered, walking further into the house. It was a huge house, but all of the decor and furniture were so dated, it felt dark and smaller than it was, and there was carpet everywhere.

“You’ll see soon enough. Now, are you going to stand there all day, or are you going help with demo?” Hilary asked from behind them. They turned to see Hilary standing in jeans and a flannel, holding three almost comically large hammers. She was wearing a tool belt, and had a pair of goggles in her other hand.

“We did say this part would be fun,” Phil pointed out taking a hammer. Dan sighed, taking one too.

“Let’s get to it then.”

They started in the kitchen pulling out draws, and knocking down cabinets. Hilary had explained that the kitchen would need a full gut, and that they were going to knock down the wall separating it from the living room, add an island, all new appliances, and hardwood floors that would carry through the rest of the house. None of the walls were low bearing, so they’d been able to knock them down, giving them on open concept main floor. It was kind of hard to picture now, standing in the middle of all this debris, but according to Hilary, in eight weeks, they’d have their dream home.

“And then maybe we can go back to the shelter, see if Max is still there,” Phil had said during their first meeting with Hilary. She’d gone to grab the spreadsheet with the cost of the house plus the renovation on it, but they were already pretty sure they were doing this. Max was a Corgi they’d been visiting every week at a shelter a few blocks from their flat. The owner told them Max was very fond of them, and always looked forward to their visits. Still, Dan hadn’t thought it was a good idea to take on house hunting and training a new pet at the same time. He practically had to drag Phil away every time they came to visit. Okay, he kind of had to drag himself away too.

Now here they were, four weeks later, standing in a house that was basically just a frame. Dan had to admit, once the walls were taken down, the house did feel a lot brighter. Still, that was the last time he let himself be talked into a renovation project. He said as much to Phil, but as always, his boyfriend was as unwaveringly positive as ever.

“Think about it this way- this is the last time we’ll ever have to go through this. A few weeks from now, we’ll be sitting in our beautiful new house, taking videos of our new dog, and you’ll wonder why you ever doubted in the first place,” Phil said, swinging his hammer at one of the cabinets, and dropping it straight through instead. “Oops.”

“Or I’ll be sitting in a hospital because you managed to impale yourself on something,” Dan replied, picking the hammer up, and handing it back to him.

“Will you bring Max to visit?” Phil asked, taking the hammer, and hoisting it over his shoulder.

“Of course. But first, let’s try not to injure ourselves before our house is finished?”

“Our house. This is our house,” Phil said, looking completely amazed, and Dan realized the reality of the situation hadn’t fully hit them yet. This was their house, their forever home, the thing they’d been planning for and looking forward to for years.

“This is our house,” Dan repeated with a surprised laugh. They’d done it, they’d actually bought a house, and they were gonna spend the rest of their lives there- with a dog, and maybe even kids one day. It was their house.

“Yes, and we’re all very happy for you. But either you get back to work, or you go home,” Hilary broke in, shattering the moment.

“Right, sorry,” they told her, and she rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

“Come on, help us finish the demo on the kitchen and then you can go home and bask in your happiness,” she replied, and they nodded, getting back to work.

They spent the next three weeks helping with demo, picking out backsplash and cabinets for the kitchen, choosing furniture and shower tiles and wood for the flooring- they did all they could do to help the process, but eventually Hilary banned them from the house.

“I know what your vision is, and I’m going to deliver. But you can’t keep stopping by everyday,” she told them after they’d stopped by unannounced for the third time that week.

“I just had an idea about how the living room is being set up-” Phil started to say, but Hilary held a hand up.

“There is one week left in this renovation. I need you to trust me. Can you do that?” she asked, and Dan knew it was going to be nothing but a week of them sitting around and worrying, wondering what the house was going to look like.

“You’ve literally done all you can. You picked out every single detail. And we’ve already had to go in and double the amount of windows halfway through because you two decided there wasn’t enough natural light. Just please, for the love of God, let me do my job,” Hilary asked, clasping her hands together pleadingly, and they (reluctantly) agreed. 

A week later, it was finally time. After a very long discussion, they’d decided they would foster Max for a week to see if he took to the new house, and if he did, they would finalize the adoption. They stood in the front yard, Dan holding Max’s leash in one hand, and Phil’s hand in the other.

“This is it,” he said, looking up at the house. The house was made of stone, and they could see all the floor to ceiling windows in the living room from where they were standing.

“Are you ready?” Phil asked, looking over at him.

“I didn’t think we’d ever get here. This is it- the forever home. It’s finished,” Dan answered, looking back.

“It’s finished. Should I carry you over the threshold?”

“Absolutely not. You managed not to get injured during the renovation, we’re not risking it now,” Dan replied, and they both laughed.

“Okay okay. I’ll carry Max then,” Phil said, reaching down to scoop Max up, who then immediately started to lick his face. Dan got out his phone as fast as possible and took a picture. They’d have to frame that one, he thought looking at it. It came out pretty good. 

“Let’s go,” Phil said, nodding seriously, and they headed inside.

The house was perfect. It was everything they’d ever dreamed of- lots of natural light coming in through the windows, hardwood floors, a fireplace in the living room, a good array of houseplants scattered throughout the main floor, and the most beautiful kitchen Dan had ever seen.

“See? I told you the subway tile would work,” Phil said proudly, and Dan suddenly became aware that this was real, this was happening right now. They’d actually done it, they were standing in their forever home, and it was everything they’d dreamed of. He turned around and kissed Phil deeply, who laughed, surprised, before melting into it.

“So I take it you’re satisfied then?” Hilary asked, causing them to jump apart.

“We love it,” Phil told her sincerely once they recovered from the shock.

“Thank you so much for this,” Dan added, and Hilary smiled.

“Of course. It was lovely working with you even though you were a huge pain sometimes,” she told them, and they laughed.

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Well I’m gonna get going, but you two enjoy your new home, okay?” Hilary told them, and they thanked her one last time before walking her to the door.

Later that night, they were settled in bed on their respective laptops, still in shock that this was actually their house, when Max jumped up onto the bed.

“We can’t let the dog sleep on the bed,” Dan said, but Phil had already put his laptop down so Max could crawl into his lap.

“But he missed us! It’s just for tonight,” Phil replied, and it definitely wasn’t just going to be for tonight, but if there was one thing Dan would never be good at, it was saying no to Phil.

“It’s encouraging a bad habit is what it is, isn’t it Max?” Dan cooed, leaning over to pet Max, who licked his face happily.

“So he can stay?” 

“Fine, he can stay. But this means it’s your turn to walk him.”

“Deal,” Phil said, and they spent the rest of the night taking videos of each other playing with Max. Finding the right house had been difficult to say the least, and renovating it had been a long and frustrating process, but laying there that night, Max curled up in between them, it all felt worth it. Forever started now.

[thelesterhowells]

phandom bingo masterpost

written for the @phandomficfests bingo fest

shattered (glass closet, coffeeshop): "And when the days are grey, dark and rainy like today, he knows the only ray of sunshine he'll see will be the cute barista down in the coffeeshop called Hotchpotch." (2.1k)

fog and glow (soulbond): A story where Dan is confronted with something he never believed was real. (3.8k)

anything but that (player’s choice, communication): Dan and Phil are not related. They are really, really not. (3.9k)

stronger together (teamwork, muse): "However, Dan was absolutely not prepared to hear a crying baby while he was walking up to their flat. He hurried up the stairs impatiently to check out what kind of mess Phil got himself into." (1.8k)

hold on to me while our world falls apart (apocalypse): When Dan wakes up one morning nothing is the way it used to before. (878)