The shortest horror movie ever...
Take a moment to imagine that little novice nun from a certain horror movie franchise...but just remember, we have to recast her. And do some creative rewriting for the setting and time period. Hehe.
Now Sister has always had a rep for being a little Weird and Unusual and there are whispers that she had something of an Unconventional Childhood(tm) what with those persistent rumors about her Mum being all into that occult stuff and that she apparently comes from a long line of "witches."
Yeah. And she's got the calling to become a nun. Irony is a Thing.
So Sister gets to go with Father Gabriel Byrne (pfffthahahaha cookies goes to the person who guesses why I picked that name out)... because Something Weird and Dangerous is happening in an obscure little convent somewhere in Romania.
When Sister and Father Byrne get to the convent, Sister decides to throw out the standard horror movie trope of "we are going to stupidly run around the Obviously Demon Infested Haunted Castle until we get possessed or killed."
Nope. Sister has brains. She's smarter than that.
She calls on an old, much beloved friend. Well... family member, to be exact.
After Father has kittens, Sister basically tells His Formerly Infernal Featherbrained Nibs what's up. He puts up a token protest because Sister could've gotten his twin Michael to smite the Sinister and Terrible Things in the Haunted Castle but:
"And have you sulk at me because I didn't call you FIRST?"
"Point taken, little darling. Well, go on, get my idiot twin here next. If only so Father here will feel better."
Valak was thoroughly smited.
The poor dead Sisters who had been trapped in the Castle were delighted to meet St. Michael, Wielder of the Magic Frying Pan of Grace, who graciously escorted them up to the Silver City.
And thus Sister Beatrice Decker Espinoza, stepdaughter to His Infernal Nibs, favorite niece of the Sword of God and the Heavenly Host, manages to save the day yet again.
Poor Father Byrne is still having kittens.
