#pfh d3

[aohendo]

Prince for Hire Editing Update!

A small songbird named Mahehv has now become a key character. Coincidentally, Kiris has discovered necromancy (terms and conditions apply).

I promise this is not as horror-y as it sounds.

[aohendo]

Prince for Hire Editing Update

Removed the first two chapters. It now begins with Kiris in the bathtub, and is gonna be a bit of a firehouse of context and the like until I can weed it out a little more.

Removed chapters 9-14 for rewriting. They originally focused on the Competition of the Turre, and I need them to focus on Kiris' attempts to save Prince Thaav, Iiriok's investigation into Kiris, and the Turre provoking the princes into infighting.

Replotted the end to establish a clear, single-book bad guy, since although the Turre are the BBEG, they're really just setting for this book, and will be the primary bad guy in, oh, say, book three (Iiriok's).

Depending how much I can salvage from those deleted chapters, expect deleted scenes coming soon!

[aohendo]

Prince for Hire editing update:

Still in the wild woes of draft three. This draft is now affectionately known as the exposition draft!

First half changes: vastly increasing the prominence of Kiris' mentor figure, and restructuring Kiris' first motives to seem to stem from them. Also, increasing Iiriok's suspicion of Kiris, and thereby increasing Kiris' action-desperation as well as overall plot tension levels. Clarify and explain worldbuiding. Add a little more on Evina. Clarify who knows what about Kiris' magic (and oddities within that magic).

Second half changes: Kiris' self-hatred (sorry, buddy) needs to be emphasized to the point that it's clear why he'd rather just abandon himself and carry on as his fake prince identity. Rework several newly introduced inconsistencies stemming from increasing mentor prominence in the first half. Add 2 missing Iiriok/Kiris scenes. Increase Evina's presence overall to frame her as the predominant antagonist of this novel.

[aohendo]

Find the Word

Tagged by @oh-no-another-idea! Thanks!

My words were breath, summer, ask, answer, and find. From Prince for Hire.

Tagging: @eccaiia, @spuddlespud, @perasperaadastrawriting, @writingpotato07, @daisywords.

Your words are draw, bank, bow, bass, and cow.

Breath

His breaths came shallow. It was a more tangible fear than shackles; an unknown, untested, dreaded. He could escape restraint. He could escape drugs, and dungeons, and the Headmaster and whomever else’s attempts at keeping him selfless. He’d done it before.

But Iiriok…

Summer

“You Novcorrisi are less than the chicks of my hawks: cute, easy to ruffle, and, ultimately, harmless.” She smiled, dimples in her cheeks and freckles summer-spangled across her face. “I will grant my yarlyk to whichever of you chicklets proves most deserving.”

Ask

“What do you want me to say?” Kiris asked, sharply. Nelovskevouk stilled. “Do you want me to describe it, in detail? Do you want me to lie? How am I supposed to answer this if ‘fine’ isn’t good enough?”

Answer

Still, Nelovskevouk’s tiny smile remained. “Perhaps,” he said. “Or perhaps what you know as ‘blackmail’ is what she has learned as her only option. That is something you may wish to discuss with her, however. She may even give you answer; she likes you.”

Find

“Riasil.” Kiris’ face twitched; joy. Anger. “I thought he liked me, but I was always a stupid child. Turned nine and I guess I became too weird even for him. That’s polarization for you: everyone always wants more, more, more, and then they find someone with that more and all of a sudden it’s too much.”

[aohendo]

Scribbled out the major subplots of Prince real quick. Surprisingly efficient way to figure out what I was forgetting to foreshadow, whose motivations I completely forgot to clarify, and why the second to last scene just wasn’t coming off right.

Would recommend, if you’re stuck in an editing stage.

[image id: a printer sheet of paper with scribbly handwriting in 5 columns, with sideways text between the columns /end id]

[aohendo]

The paper edit begins…

[aohendo]

Prince for Hire Editing Update

Continuing to sort out plot threads in Prince, and I've gotten to the point where I've identified the major plot threads (and am currently listing the points where they fall short/what needs to be added to them/what is unnecessary).

Anyway, plugged just plot arc data into Aeon with the relevant events, switched her on over to Subway, and now I've got the cheerfully spaghetti-like outline of my plot and the event interactions! It's neat seeing where things converge and separate, and is actually quite useful for what I said I was doing in the first paragraph.

[image id: a subway stop map with the "subway lines" in various colors representing plot arcs, converging and diverging at plot points /end id]

[aohendo]

Second half of the timeline for Prince worked out! I did a fair amount of general background continuity numbers, too, and should be able to affix the first half of the plot to this later today. Gotta love tangible progress.