Jamie Fraser sat alone in his cell. He was kept in solitary for his own safety. He breathed deep; fighting to keep his emotions in check. He knew this was where he belonged; the proper punishment for his crimes and bear it he would.
But seeing the sassenach had permitted self pity to flood his heart. She was glorious. Her fierceness had reminded him of his mother and sister. His heart squeezed at the thought of his family. He glanced to the small desk where his sister Jenny’s letters remained unopened. She had resorted to letters when he refused her calls.
He deserved this, he thought, he wouldn’t let them be destroyed because of his weaknesses.
Jamie stood and circled his small cell.
Ah, how he wished to see the sky.
Suddenly, he wondered how the sassenach‘s hair would look in the sun? Was it lighter where the sun touched it? Would her whisky eyes go sherry in daylight?
Her husband was a lucky man.
Jamie closed his eyes and sat on his bed. Stubbornly, her image would not leave him.
She was haunted, he could tell. Did her husband try to comfort her? And how had she come to Boston?
His thoughts refused to be diverted. He had hoped for such a woman to be by his side. His father said it would be so. He had expected so many things; once.
Unable to control the bitterness that invaded his body, Jamie stood and punched the stone wall.
The pain blossomed through his arm.
Alone, in a cage, in a land that was not his own, it was then he understood all that was to be denied him.
He punched again and felt the bones shatter.
When only pain remained, he slid to the floor and cried.
The Accused, James Fraser, at Chapter 4, @phaedrecameron
