So....I had been super excited to finally move forward with my final bottom surgery, like it was the final milestone to be 100% ok with myself (also the bonus ability to pee while standing and not have to deal with the anxiety and grossness of men’s public washrooms was also great). But then I started to get philosophical with my manager (who is also a gay trans man) and like basically it made me reevaluate my reasons for getting bottom surgery. Since really the only function it would have that would be on par with a cis mans dick is the fact that I’ll be able to piss while standing (at the time of starting all this years ago that was my only standard, the only thing I wanted because of reason I’m not getting into right now sex and relationships were never on my radar). But now like I don’t want to do any of the things to get it ready, the overall recovery from both part A and B of the surgery is something I can’t actually afford, going over to the other side of the country for this is also something I don’t want to do (like follow ups, and worse case complications like the fuck I’m I suppose to do? Drop everything and spend 700$ for a flight to Montreal last minutes??), and really at this point the only reason I still have for going through with this is (from what I can tell) New Brunswick still needs me to go through with this to change the gender marker on my birth certificate, which means I can’t change the marker on my passport either. Like I’ll be calling the registry place in Moncton this week since they haven’t answered any of my emails to get an answer about if they’ve updated all that to just needing a therapist letter to change it or if I still need to be 100% post everything op
