Round 1 Match 2: @phan-pheeking-tastic vs @planetgalactica
Writer: @ma-tsu-the-male-goddess
Matsu coughs awkwardly into her microphone as the yelling Match 1 phighter is dragged away.
“Alright kiddos, guess we’re moving on!” She signals the vibrating ghost assistants down in the arena to start setting up. They start launching cowboy hats into the crowd. Several smaller ghosts are crushed. Matsu eyes the chaos as she continues.
“First up is @phan-pheeking-tastic! She is rocking both suspenders and the largest cowboy hat I have ever seen! I think it’s actually evaporating under the stress of it’s own existence -- but aren’t we all?” There’s a pause as Matsu contemplates her own reality.
“And here is her opponent: @planetgalactica! Kitt has certainly got a wonderful space theme going on, but she honestly looks a bit like a space Technus. So. Sorry about that.“ Matsu wonders for a moment if she should turn on her filter before discarding the idea. They all know what they signed up for.
“Now, Pheek has certainly been riling up the crowd! A performer if I’ve ever seen one!” Distant clown honks punctuate Matsu’s words. “Kitt looks like she’ll be the first one to make a move!” The humanoid ghost steps forward, water guns filled with a mysterious brown liquid, and a feral grin on her face. Pheek turns around slowly, showing off her clown makeup to the crowd, her voice is broadcast throughout the stadium.
“Oh ho ho? You’re approaching me? You fool, you are already dead!” She throws back her head and cackles. Matsu is impressed, how is her hat staying on her head? Kitt growls loudly.
“That’s my reference!” She sprints madly at the rodeo clown, arms and guns flying out behind her in a technically perfect Naruto run. Matsu is already having fun.
“This is certainly shaping up to be an entertaining phight everybody! I, for one, am rooting for—” Matsu has to cut herself off. Pheek just collapsed out on the field. Everything goes silent. Kitt stops in her tracks.
Ghost medics are rushing out. One wearing neon clear socks looks up at the box and shakes his head solemnly. Matsu gulps and slams her head on the desk. Why do things like this happen to her? She sits up slowly, groaning internally, and taps Megalovania into the microphone to grab everyone’s attention.
“Ghost friends, sorry for the inconvenience! It seems another match is over and done with in less than a minute! Please head inside for a lovely ghost coffee (enough caffeine to wake the dead!); we’ll get set up with our next phighters. Congrats Kitt on your first win!”
