As March comes to an end, I'm forced to confront some unpleasant things:
• I have to delete social media from my phone because I can't regulate my use. My addiction streak is as strong as ever.
• Aspiring for an opulent/rich lifestyle is the biggest load of bullshit ever. I want to strive for comfort but not at the expense of the environment and human beings.
• I work best in a structure, with some freedom to experiment. I landed a job, planned a move, breached a coveted number - but I've downplayed all of these due to unstable mood swings resulting from a lack of structure.
• I've got some serious issues with socialising that need investigation. When people who proclaim that they will be there for you are inconvenienced when you call upon them, who do you turn to? Because I'm getting mad tired of turning to digital means.
• More than journaling and conversations, what wellness right now demands is more of physical movement and a healthier diet. I've been stuffing my face with instant noodles and chugging fizzy drinks like water without any sort of movements in months altogether. You see why my mood swings won't improve.
The journey upwards and onwards is a tough one but the only one worthy of being undertaken. It takes discipline to show up. It takes guidance or the sheer joy of something to maintain consistency. But by God, if I don't take it, then who will?
If I don't live my life with my all, then who will?