What learnt today at physio is that before I get to the point of overdoing it I lose my capability of speech.
So the new rule for home workouts in between appointments is to talk non stop and when I start stuttering I am to stop.
Because I'm always in pain, so I ignore that warning. I'm too stretchy, so I dont realise that warning. My heart jumps to 150 just from sitting up, so don't pay that much mind.
And like my son, I too will cease to exists if I stop talking, so yep. If I'm struggling with speech it means to stop what I'm doing and relax for a bit.
Your physio brother is tired of constantly having to spend time fixing you up so he recommends a trainer who can help you with preventative PT instead. It turns out this new guy knows what he's doing and Mark can't believe you're actually listening instead of rolling your eyes and giving him hell.
"Shit!"
You brace yourself and breathe through the pop as Mark relocates your shoulder. The sharp pain subsides into a dull aching discomfort and your jaw unlocks as he steps back to let you shake it off.
"That's the third time this week y/n."
You sigh. "I know. I know."
You hiss out a breath as he starts taping you up, keeping everything in place and testing out your range of movement. Your shoulder rotates fine but it still feels unsteady and you know you’re going to have to address this soon.
"It’s getting worse."
You stay still as your brother slips your arm through another brace and straps you in carefully. His hands are warm, sure and steady. This has become a routine between you and your brother is good at what he does. His movements practiced, deft, but gentle as he traces the sore spots around your upper back and around your collarbone that already feel bruised. He knows just where the tender skin is and where he can grip tighter to pull the brace into just the right level of tension. You wince slightly as he adjusts the device one final time before stepping back to take you in. The pressure is reassuring. The silence between you weighs harder.
"You really need to start taking up physio or something to work on stabilizing the muscles around your problem areas." Mark lectures.
You've heard it before. Your massage therapist brother has helped you through many partial dislocations, subluxations and more over the past few years. Mark has seen your body deteriorating since your teens and made it his mission to be your own personal one man pit crew. He's typically releasing knots or working the stress from your legs as your calves and hips overcompensate for your shitty joints. Lately your lower body has been doing well but for some reason you can't seem to keep your shoulder from sliding out of place. Even just sitting or standing still seems to pop it out these days.
"Did you sleep on it funny last night?"
You shake your head. "I sat on the couch to read a book and my right side was leaning against the back cushion. I guess my weight resting on it was enough to shift things and now it doesn't want to stay in the socket."
Mark runs a hand through his hair. "I'm serious about the preventative work y/n."
You offer him a soft smile. "I know."
You're nearly two years apart, not a huge difference, but Mark has always acted like you’re closer. He loves you to a fault and unfortunately that involves being a bit overbearing about making sure you're taking care of yourself. You'd be more annoyed about it if you didn't know it came from such a good place. From good intentions. From his big soft heart that hated seeing you in so much pain and discomfort all the time, and his fear that some day he'd wake up to a call that this was all so much more serious. You couldn't berate him for worrying about you. Even when it made you roll your eyes because he was being particularly overbearing.
And you know he makes a good point. He usually does. He's taken to his chosen profession like a fish to water, thriving in the field he had originally chosen to learn how to help you. He had grown to love it over the years, and it showed. You were glad he'd found so much happiness in it. Lord knows he had sacrified enough just trying to be a good brother. You'd gotten pretty lucky, even when you wanted to shake him sometimes.
You sigh, rolling your neck as you adjust to the way the brace limits the movement around your shoulder. It’s an odd relief rather than feeling restricting.
"I just can't seem to find a personal trainer that has the type of physio background I'm looking for and the typical pts keep trying to train the wrong things and making it worse." You admit.
Mark considers this. "I might have an idea about that actually. Let me look into it and I'll let you know tomorrow but Jaebeom's been working with this new guy and I think he might just fit what you’re looking for."
"Mark..." you shake your head. "I'm not taking another handout. Beom-ah has already donated more than enough of his time and ressources. He has a gym to run."
Your brother rolls his eyes and cleans up his supplies. "He's already hired the guy so it's no skin off his back if you want to book his time but I think I remember Beomie saying something about his background being in kinesiology and physical therapy. I need to ask a few more questions and I'm not saying you have to commit to anything but if he seems like a good fit maybe it'll be worth giving him a shot. At least meet him and have a consultation, maybe book a test session and see how it feels and then go from there?"
His suggestion is reasonable and you really don't have a better solution. "Okay. Let me know and I'll think about it."
He grins. "That's all I'm asking."
"y/n."
You're not going to admit it, not if Mark asks, but the new guy is exactly what you'd both been hoping for. He's disarming, kind and innocent looking. Charming. A big smile he wears like a shield as he shakes hands with everyone while he walks into the building. You've already had three sessions with Jackson, and you know you're going to keep coming back for as long as he lets you. His rate isn't too different to most of Jaebeom's personally vetted trainers, and he seems friendly with Jinyoung and Yugyeom already. That was the first good sign. He nods, flashing you another one of his blinding smiles as he steps into the office. Usually you'd meet him in the hallway outside of the change rooms but you'd popped in to have a quick chat with Jaebeom while he sighed over his pile of paperwork and Jackson catches you on your way out.
You take the hand he offers, shaking it warmly rather than tugging you into the easy bro hug he favours with Jaebeom and the other trainers. Partly because you're not that close yet and partly because he knows it might be enough to yank your shoulder right out of its socket no matter how gently he does it. You've only managed to keep it located for about a week now, and neither of you wants to tempt things so soon.
"Jackson."
His smile is warm as he turns it on your friend, a wave to the man sat behind his desk while he leans one hip against the corner.
"Jaebeom-ah."
Your brother's favourite junior, a friend he'd made in his last year of high school and who had somehow become the third point in your little trio since, sighs and leans back in his chair. He has a soft spot for the new guy already and you can see why. Jaebeom might be kind of a hard ass but he was a good judge of character. He ran a tight ship, always on top of everything at the gym that was his pet project, but he had to be a little obsessive sometimes to be a good businessman. You let them fall into easy conversation as you threw them both a wave and headed out to change.
You're not sure you'd say that you can feel the progress yet, not so soon, in fact if anything you leave every session with Jackson feeling more wobbly and shaking than before. Mark however has noticed something. He's already remarked on your hips and calves being less tight. Your back holding less tension. It's too soon to get your hopes up but those seem like good signs. You'll see if it lasts.
Jackson's already waiting, leaning against the wall arms crossed over his chest, when you step back out into the hallway. You nearly match today. White tank tops, loose black basketball shorts, scuffed running shoes. Only you also sport athletic tape along one forearm, looping around your elbow, and a matching swatch of it supporting the same knee.
Jackson's eyes linger on the tape for a moment and one eyebrow raises in question as he meets your gaze. "Bad day?""
You offer a tired smile. "Long week."
He nods. "We'll start slow today then. Don't expect me to go easy on you just because you're looking all sad and pathetic though."
That makes you laugh. The way he says it in the same tone Mark uses when he's teasing you. You like Jackson's playful attitude. He keeps you accountable but in a way that's still enjoyable. Even if you do want to curse him out by the end of your sessions. His attitude is part of what keeps you coming back. That and the way his eyes stay laughing, even when he pushes you, and you come back to every new session feeling just a little more confident.
"You're in a good mood today."
"My favourite client is back for another session."
You hold a hand to your heart, keeping pace as he leads you towards the studio to start with some stretches.
"You have other clients?"
He laughs as he holds the door open for you. "I have to pay my bills somehow."
You nod, stepping through and grabbing a mat. Jackson heads around the corner, coming back with the bosu balance trainer. You groan.
"I thought you said we were starting slow."
He just grins. "We are. Slow doesn't mean easy. Now come on, warm up first. Torture once your muscles are ready to work with me."
You just sigh and set your water bottle by the mirrors. Yeah, he's so like your brother sometimes. Jaebeom might not be the only one developing a fondness for this man.
Now that I have your attention; Islam is a physical therapist from Palestine who has been made homeless and displaced during the war. His mother has cancer and his grandma also needs support, and he does his best for both of them. He is exhausted and needs all the support he can get. He deserves stability and his family deserves treatment and support!
His Gofundme and other pay app is linked below:
I’m doing this fundraiser to help my friend Islam.
My name is Isla… Alaa Qu needs your support for From the Ashes: A Call for Humanity t
Go to paypal.me/mido87ss and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.
I found some middle aged guy on YouTube who does physio videos for over 50s and holy SHIT my life has changed.
My man breaks down each exercise, does them slowly, shows them step by step, and explains what they help with. I can actually follow and understand them, and they're not too overwhelming. I struggle to follow instructions and exercises with multiple stages confuse me easily.
I did a bunch yesterday and then went bouldering climbing and the difference is INSANE. Usually after climbing I have horrible radiating aches and pains and fatigue, I woke up today and felt totally different. The usual horrific radiating pain, unstable knees, sharp pains, fatigue weren't there. Just regular work out aches.
It feels positively euphoric. I actually have brain space to think and do things. I've felt motivated all day.
It's incredible the difference that well communicated exercises can do. All I needed was clearly explained exercises and someone showing me clearly, step by step.
Chronic pain havers, here's your daily reminder to do your physio exercises today! What a difference it can make.
If you can't afford physio, I found some non-judgmental youtube channels dedicated to mobility.
MovementbyDavid is wonderful, and really helped with my hip pain, while Hybrid Calisthenics did wonders for my shoulders and back! Plus, they have such pleasant energies that I cannot recommend enough.
I can't afford to boost this, but I'm hoping Tumblr can do its thing and spread this around.
I know they'll make me feel better in the long run (Supposedly)
But I just don't have the time. And it's not the time to do them necessarily, it's just the time to dedicate to being in extreme pain for a day afterwards.
#cute animals
#lana del rey
#photography
