#pickupfail

[nyborbwerdna]

This comes after a prompt from @zzacgreen for an encounter where someone asks someone else if they like good sex, the person says "no," and the original person says "you came to the right person then." I took some liberties with it. Do you dig it? Too far yet? Where is the line? . Follow @tallestontheshortbus and please support me through Patreon, link in bio. . . . . . #pickuplines #pickupfail #notintoyou #impotent #impotence #erectiledysfunction #asexual #wheelchair #dating #truelove #romance #comicsofinstagram #cartoonsofinstagram #torontocomics #torontocartoonist #dailycomic #canadiancomics #webtoon #comix #instacomics #comicsofinsta #sliceoflife #comicsofinsta #comicdrawing #comicsketch #comicmemes (at Toronto, Ontario) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7L7ArXANIb/?igshid=o2d3svf42zll

[funny-guts-here-blog]

#pickuplines gone #wrong Double tap if you ❤ it 🙆👐🙌 Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @funny_guts 👉Tag your friends too 👈 #funny #funnymemes #textfail #pickupfail #wrongway

[rjack2136]

#Repost @wolfgrillz ・・・ Yes...I don't. 😑 #funnypost #friday #weekend #pickuplines #pickupfail (at Phoenix, Arizona)

[saneesideup2]

Update on wealthy Asian guy

Like the businessman that he is, he ain't taking no for an answer. He wants to see me and he's being very persistent about it. He probably can't believe I could turn down his money and all he has to offer. He even mentioned a trip to Tokyo's Disneyland. Which I could maybe give up my whole life for, buuuut... no.

I never know how to tell a guy to fuck off properly. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, especially if they like me. But c'mon, I have a boyfriend, and I'm not being ambiguous about it. I'm being pretty clear about your shit not being inappropriate.

At least I had a little action in my life today, even if it sums up to a doomed friendship that lasted 2 hours.

[brittanymorganyyc]

I was told to blog about my dating life...

By a male friend who finds the interesting, sometimes strange and often unfortunate male encounters I have to be rather entertaining. (No, I am not referring to anything dirty.) So I’m at a bar by myself a few weeks ago. (The veggie burger at a pub a couple blocks away is fantastic, and I don’t need a friend to accompany me when the hunger pangs hit.)

I meet few cool people sitting along the bar while I eat, and we all have some drinks together. At some point in the evening one of the bartenders introduces himself and each time he walks by, asks me questions about myself.

Eventually, he says, “Come outside with me for a second” and gets me to follow him out the back door. Once in the alleyway, he asks for my number. I comment out loud on the somewhat creepy nature of this… taking a customer into an alley to “pick her up”. He responds by saying that he didn’t want to ask in the bar so as to avoid appearing unprofessional. (Because getting a female patron alone in an alleyway to hit on her is of course, super professional). He then steers the conversation in an unexpected direction by stating, and I quote verbatim, “I’m seeing someone, but you seem cool.”

What the hell is that?!

[virgindievirgin]

"Ever wanted to have unattached no strings sex?"

Can I try to have attached, maybe some strings sex first? And even if I did, any sex with you is an automatic NO. 

This is how you make me feel... uncomfortable and unsure how to deal with a halfwit. 

[heardinhollyweird]

A plus B equals C. And you have a left nostril and right nostril which is legit. You have to breathe. And you have stripes. On your nose. I'd like to lick them off. I bet you taste good. I've got the salty De Niro going on.