Overheard In Hollyweird @heardinhollyweird - Tumblr Blog

Vaginas are nasty...but every once in a while you get the inexplicable urge to put your face in one. You! Keep it together! We have all night to make muff diving jokes.

Is Renee Zellweger legally blind? Waddafuck is up with her eyes. As an Asian person I was like "WTF?"

Hey, do you speak French? No? Have sex with me.

Yo. I don't know about you guys but I'm trying to butt fuck a rattlesnake.

So my neighbor just had a baby and he's just a little piece of meat, like, no features at all. Cutest thing ever. ANYWAY...

We have a dancing taco going on.

In line at a club on a rainy evening.

Girl A: Ah, it's jizzling!

Guy A: Jizzling or drizzling? I feel like that would be like if your dick sneezed and there was a fine mist of jizz. Like misting.

Guy B: No, wouldn't that be jisting?

Girls are just as bad as guys.

Girl A: She looks like the cat that got the canary.

Girl B: If the canary is dick, then yes.

Wait, wait, wait... why don't you guys shut me up with a... a mouse? A mouse nozzle? A mouse.

Despite the denseness of my skull, I dare not approach your territory for fear of being tusked by your tusky mustache...and then head butted.

That, that right there, that is a sexy fucking parking spot. Ooh, oh yeaahhh...you know what? There's an entire genre of orphan porn. It goes like, "Does your mommy know what you do? No? Cus she's dead? Cool story now take this fat dick BITCH."

"What voice is that??" "Sean Connery with a stroke."

Oh my god it's so Jewish it's like I'm reading a dreidel.

Where in which an appendage lies a crevice lies...kind of like...THIS! This is where the yeti lies! Yeah. True story. Yeti. Here. Fact. Chicken waffles!

"He calls me cuntbunny!" "...Well we are going to be more gentlemanly than that."

Sprinkles!! [aside] I'm going to call him sprinkles until he gives me a FUCKING BRO NAME.

Bear Jew, show yourself!

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Overheard In Hollyweird