Darth Plagueis watching his himbo apprentice skinnydip his way to a new acolyte: 'Next time I'm finding a scrawny old white guy'

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Darth Plagueis watching his himbo apprentice skinnydip his way to a new acolyte: 'Next time I'm finding a scrawny old white guy'
Hello! After seeing your Palpatine headcanon, I wanted to share my own cursed Palpatine headcanons
So, in my mind Palpatine is happy or at least very content with his life. He isn't the wicked villain inflicting his own pain onto the world, alone and pitiable. That's Vader. He is a career politician ( it is his dream job) as much as he is a Sith Lord and he enjoys the thrill of politics, the challenges they present and manipulating people as much as he enjoys using the Force. He does of course have moments of frustration and worry and even fear ( especially after Luke appears) , but every person has a bad day once in a while. All in all , he is living the good life as Senator, Chancellor, Emperor, enjoying luxuries, power, respect while scheming to destroy the lives of everyone who love and respect him ( Padme , Anakin, Senators and others who trust hi
Umm this is so embarrassing that it's taken me this long to respond to this!
The Palpatine headcanon @anidala-for-ever is referencing my headcanon that Palpatine does actually sort of love Anakin in whatever small capacity he is capable of love. I also don't think he'd ever admit that, though.
I love your headcanon that he's pretty happy, and I have to agree with that, though I don't think he's happy in a traditional sense, and I don't quite think he's content.
I think when he's Chancellor, and then Emperor, he's probably the happiest he's ever been, and I think he probably felt really good about himself. But he still feared death, and was trying very hard to figure out some way to escape it.
Palpatine is also a scholar, and definitely a huge nerd, so I think as Emperor he spent a lot of time delving into the secrets of the Dark Side, and I'm not sure if it's canon or legends or both, but I know in at least one EU he writes a few books about the Dark Side.
I also think that Palpatine's happiness, if we can call it that, was very hard won. In the Plagueis novel, there's a lot of hints that his apprenticeship under Darth Plagueis was absolutely horrible. He endured it willingly, at least at first, though eventually I'm sure Plagueis would have killed him if he'd tried to back out, so remaining the Sith Apprentice was really Palpatine's only option at some point.
Let's not forget that Palpatine pledged himself to the ways of the Sith and became Hego Damask's apprentice at 17, and he didn't kill his Sith Master until he had been elected Chancellor (in The Phantom Menace) at age 52. So that's 35 years of torture and humiliation and brainwashing he endured to get what he wanted. Sith training is not kind.
LOL they already updated Plagueis’ Wookieepedia page :p
Plagueis: alright we need a way to make sure Fett doesn’t leave and take away our template, any ideas?
Lama Su: we will encourage him to train a “defective” clone unit and ensure he has contact with the other surviving pure clone
Hemlock: I’ll take one of those clones we’re growing as a scientist caste, have her be heavily involved in monitoring him so they form a bond, and then surround her with the creepiest guys I know from college so he never feels like he can leave without putting her in danger
Cylo: clone him.
Before having walked far, Qui-Gon started wincing badly enough I slung his arm over my shoulders to hold him up “Thank you Obi-Wan.” he smiled
“You aren’t going to die aren’t you?” I asked, mostly sarcastic
“I don’t think it got to anything important, but it’s not a shallow cut.” Qui-Gon answered, and I started to speed up which got me an eye roll “Don’t trust my judgement Padawan?”
“More like, not ready to be knighted.” I joked, but the mood sobered “Anakin… are you going to leave me to teach him?” I asked
“He is the chosen one.” Qui-Gon said in a non-answer
“No kid should have that pressure, you’re going to leave me behind aren’t you.” I sighed
“Not leave behind, just knight. You will be a good Jedi, and we will not be separated. I was going to propose knighting you soon anyways.” Qui-Gon told me “This is just earlier.”
“Soon as in, a few years?” I scoffed
“I don’t know. But everything is the will of the force, maybe what you need is to grow into yourself on your own, prove that you are a good Jedi without my help.” Qui-Gon smiled
-
Anakin was sitting on my chair next to me, we were both watching the bed Qui-Gon slept in.
“What’s going to happen to me?” Anakin asked
“You will be a Jedi, Qui-Gon will train you when he is well again.” I told him
“So I’ll be with you?” Anakin frowned
“No, a Jedi can take only one Padawan- which means apprentice. I’m going to be knighted.” I explained
“Oh.” he turned back to Qui-Gon.
-POV switch Sidious
I had left Maul kneeling on the floor, but I could not care what he thought, I grabbed my lightsaber. Entering the room in a flurry I raised it up, swinging it down into the body of Darth Plagueis before he could wake up.
It slammed through his hip and into the bed and he shot awake.
“Gha- SIDIOUS!” Plagueis screamed, lunging forwards with his own sabers shooting into his hands
He slammed me against and through the wall, shards of durasteel dug into my back.
I spun to my side to avoid his lightsaber, then pushed my hands to his face and let force lightning crackle and burn at his face so he had to drop me.
He dug his fingers in tighter before stumbling back, sprinting to one of his many hidden safes to pull out something.
“You don’t win this!” I growled, tackling him away. Our flying bodies barely missing Maul who started backwards
“Maste-” I tried to stab Plagueis, he blocked and pushed both of us up, letting us properly duel.
I had to block, until I spotted an opening, lunging forwards and shifting stances to a more aggressive form once I came back. But the cauterized wound on his side matched mine.
He swung wide above me and put a burst of weight into his swing that sent me stumbling backwards and my wrists aching.
He lunged forwards again and I ducked under the swing, and, leaving behind all ideas of an ‘honorable’ battle, I pushed myself forwards and bit his shoulder before elbowing him hard in the ribs, trying to stab him with my saber as well, but he push the blade aside with his own.
I ran back down the hallways, trying to find the cortosis I kept hidden in my office.
Taking two more, thankfully light, hits. I hit the wall and bounced myself into the room, destroying my desk in one slash of the force to grab the cortosis in the wreckage and hit Plagueis’ saber with it.
It flickered out and I attacked, he dodged for a while, grabbing the debris of the table to use as shields.
I spotted an opening and lunged, but as my blade stabbed through two of his hearts, his activated in the left of my stomach. I stumbled forwards, falling down onto his body. After shoving my weapon into a hidden pocket I’d opened long ago and fumbled with my comm, pressing the emergency button.
Part 2 - Masterpost
acolyte finale spoilers beware beware
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lets talk about the darth plagieus in the room, or hiding shriveled in the cave, and some conceeeeeerns
just watched, and idk what they're saying in interviews or anything but immediatley after seeing that its 100% its intended to be plagieus. it is. now, will they COMITT to making him in universe plagieus? there's some wiggle room, but within the writers room meta side its intended to be
and tbh, crusty reveal aside lol - mans looks like he's got the shitty roommate qimir who keeps bringing unannounced guests over for "helmet and chill", within the story it does make a few things make sense within the acolyte: notably, qimir's ability to force heal that wasn't touched upon makes a lot of sense with plagieus being his master given plagieus's pursuits into healing and immortality. and, giving osha / mae the vergence created from the force back story makes a LOTTTTT of sense for plagieus getting interested in those general ideas plus ESPECIALLY if they wanted to lean into the legends theory that plagieus created anakin (which for the record, while given enough meat in the novel to play with for fun - even within the book the more definitive take is presented that the force created anakin to counteract the dark side).they also make a point about talkin about M-Count (because the word still scares them!) and thats another interest of plagieus. mileage may vary for some folks with that / how they feel about the vergence stuff overall in the acolyte (tbh i don't care - i always hated the chosen one stuff with anakin so don''t think his "unique" role is worth protecting anyways) but makes a lot mroe sense if they'll link it with plagieus too. perhaps, even, he was present as the event and at the ascencion?
I think it fits like a GLOVE and would make for a great justification for the lore and story really cool stuff
but outside of that - i am immediatley thinking of some potential issues with the introdcution of plagieus existing as the sith master in this point in the canon timeline / issues with just acolyte season 2 may have in reckoning with the movies if they comitt to this that i'll break down
disclaimer: i generally liked the acolyte, and i'll make a post about it with my critiques and gripes and soem big issues off setting some positive praise too, but i skew positive with it thought it did some great individual things and look forward to season 2. and, despite how i feel that i'll describe, was neat to see plagieus!
Now I will say I'm a huge fan of the plagieus novel. one of my top, if not fav, star wars book. i love the plot - but also rly like plagieus as a character and sith lord in the book too. so there is a concern that if they go a certain way with the acolyte - none of that story or characterization will be able to be folded into canon, which while that'd bum me out a litttttle isn't the point of the post - canonocity of stories and contradictions don't bother me that much tbh, and esp canon takes on legends characters...it is what it is! can have some new canon versions
and as far as if they did a whole new clean slate? an OC canon plagieus - just taking the name and look? i'd still fuck with it, i buy that they could make a really sick sith master for sure and i'd enjoy it. i'd wish more of the plagieus novel would be folded into canon, but oh well. it happens, the original story is still there
but my problems come from a kinda unavoidable one of utilizing plagieus at this point in the timeline - its gonna fall into one or the other, unfortuantley
having Darth Plagieus exist at this point either means -
Qimir, and by extension Osha, aren't important to the sith line
,or,
2. Plagieus isn't Palaptine's master in canon
For 1. if Qimir is a sith, and clearly the sith apprentice - and plagieus then is the sith master, well having qimir and osha sandwhiched between plagieus and sidious really does them both a dis service doesn't it? neither of them can overthrow plagieus, and ofc neither of them will become his final apprentice.
originally, without plagieus, you can have a really great path for osha to become a full sith lord - season 1 she becomes an acolyte, season 2 she helps qimir overthrow his master and she becomes an apprentice, and season 3 she overthrows him and becomes the sith lord - an even more powerful and cunning sith who'll no doubt contribute towards the grand plan
but now? well, maybe she can overthrow qimir and become the apprentice, but it won't matter - because she won't be palpatine for plagieus. she'll fizzle out, leave, or die
OR
like i said 2. plagieus isn't palpatine's master in canon. qimir/osha in this COULD overthrow plagieus in this version, and feel that sense of growth for them - but then, well, palaptine isn't plagieus's apprentice. that really kinda ruins one of his best scenes in the prequels - him recounting that story to anakin. even if there was never a plagieus novel, its very clear palaptine is reminiscing about murdering his own master, and that gives a great characterization to palpatine! but diminishing to objective legend palpatine likes would be a loss imo
so, like i just broke down - unless someone has another suggestion, you're limited to one of these two pitfalls and its choosing the lesser of the two to work with
like i said, does my love for the plagieus novel play into some of my apprehension how he's introduced here basically ensuring that those events can't be folded into canon? yes, however, i think purely taking acolyte as its own story and only taking movie lore into consideration - it still does have those two pitfalls
which makes me wonder - WHY plagieus? there was a lot of buzz beforehand, a lot of excitement, and even earlier as we've seen with sequel speculation re snoke - a LOT of ppl have been wanting to see plagieus, even outside of concordance with the novel, doesn't mattter the portrayal - as long as we get plagieus. but WHY? outside the novel, whats the draw of using him for these unrelated stories?
why couldnt qimir's master be Darth Generic? like i said, it either diminishes one of the prequel's best scenes or diminishes qimir/osha.
i think its cuz within canon, and within just visual "official" media, mainline media thats seen and consumed - plagieus is the one exciting worldbuilding, lore nugget, secret, etc that ISNT thoroughly explored by star wars. and cuz its so iconic, ppl have been craving no matter if its the sequels or here plagieus plagiues plagieus, even if, imo - it doesn't fit with either his existing legends story, or shove that aside cuz who cares tbh - it doesn't fit within the movies / acolyte imo
because a lot of us were born too early to see the interesting lore hooks of the clone wars from OT followed through in PT, a lot of us grew up on one of the only lore hooks within PT alluding to events before THOSE movies were related to plagieus, i think a lot of us have been craving to see him and go
and hey, theres NOTHING wrong with wanting to do that. i love doing it! ive done it many times! but weighing that against the other pro's and con's, and i feel that MAYBE this could take more than it can give
i will say too - i think they HAVE given themsleves wiggle room.
i mean to say, if they wanted to COMITT to this being plagieus they would've either stated it, or shown him off / have that "reveal" as a hook at the end of the episode leading more directly into season 2 rather than at the eleven minute mark or so that isn't touched upon again. this big reveal everyone's talking about? THIS scene isn't part of the final hooks for season 2...if they were comitting to it 100% instead of 90%, THIS would be our last shot instead of (puppet!) yoda
don't get me wrong, meta side that IS plagieus - but within universe, i feel like they have enough slack that while that IS almost certainly the sith master, they can backtrack into "ohhh thats actually a different kind of alien" / "ohhh thats just another muun sith" in case they get bad feedback on it
and i think thats intentional, in case either outside or inside they decide "hey, maybe this idea won't work after all" and while they'd still have to pay it off - they're not locked into it being plagieus in the same way
but tbh, i think its unlikely to back track vs going ahead if they do get a season 2 - like i said, plagieus is basically the only big lore hook / secret that most ppl know that hasn't been explored in official /mainline media ala shows or movies, so if acolyte does get greenlit for s2 i imagine very strongly they'll confirm its plagieus
like i said, would i be bummed if it contradicts the book? yes. but this isn't my first rodeo with legends v canon, so i'm used to it + im not gonna lock myself out of a potential good story because im salty an exisitng story won't just be retold. even if they do a full clean slate OC plagieus just having his name and look - i think they could make him super super sick, qimir was generally done super well, so i can only imagine how they'd do a sith master
but my point is that even outside the baggage of legends and any other media or expectations - introducing plagieus, as we know him from ROTS dialogue, presents one of two problems. and maybe one is lesser than the other to you or I, but there is a trade off to both and downsides to both - just a matter of what we prefer and what they'll decide
despite all that, it was cool to see a visual depiction of plagieus albeit hiding in shadows lol, and I DO think they can do some really cool stuff with him - his 99% inclusion at the ascenciok ritual and creation of the twins is already proof of that!
The Plagueis novel and this snippet specifically make me go insannnnnneee. What do you meannn Palpatine was just always like this? What do you meannn Plagueis manipulated Palpatine as Palpatine manipulated Anakin? Whplgaat do you meannn Plagueis intended to use Palpatine as a puppet? What do you meannn Palpatine was once a naïve kid? What do you mea
Rip to plagueis he would’ve loved maul’s aura of fanatic love