Just another quick look at two different weeks’ of guides to functioning. The first has a lot of multi-step processing: you have to be able to look at what’s there, identify it, find it in the key, connect the meaning, and go from there. Under the washi marked “for more items” are also actually more of those little heart checkbox stickers in case I wanted to ADD more things. It doesn’t include the most basic routines for self-care at all, because I’d had those on another chart in my room (which, because of the pace and my own level of tired last week, ended up going more or less mostly ignored).
The second week is straight-forward. There’s no coding. Appointments are clear and non-regular appointments are in bigger shinier ones than the usual so I don’t forget them (again). Instead of extra tasks that are different from day to day, I have my most basic routines repeating every day in a place I know I’ll be consistently going back to in order to keep track of myself.
New routines are hard. New routines that used to be old routines that have to be built back in again every time there’s even the slightest disruption are really hard. And routines that are “supposed” to come naturally and without thought and involve the most basic levels of self-care that other people don’t seem to have a problem with can be the hardest.
It’s ok for these routines to feel hard to build up again. It’s okay that you need reminders for them. It doesn’t make you any less good a person! Even though it may not feel that way at first, there doesn’t have to be any shame in needing to write down, and check off, things like eating or taking a shower.
When I was what I used to call “really high-functioning” (and don’t have a word for now because that put some value judgments on myself that I’ve been told by professionals I’m supposed to be getting rid of) the multitasking go-go-go extrovert hundred-projects-at-once-on-top-of-a-full-time-job sort of person, I had to write myself reminders to eat because I’d get so caught up in other things that I’d forget.
The difference now is that it takes a whole lot less to throw me off that track But you know what? If I got out of bed and made it through the day, that can be my accomplishment right now. And all the other things that feel like basics, those can be my check-boxes on my to-do-list.
It’s alright to need to do that. Everyone’s “basic routines” are different, and it’s okay if you’re relearning them and need that list.
