Whirling Mummy One-shot
(Art by Sam Mameli)
Have been deathly ill for most of this month, with barely the focus to do anything. So I've been in the dumps.
Last Wednesday I ran a one-shot for my regular TTRPG group, just to feel like I could do something---anything. I didn't have much of a voice. Just a low rasp. So all my characters that night were kinda husky, sultry folks, the kind you might find in a bar.
Apopros to the game, I suppose. I ran the Whirling Mummy, a dance-hall adventure I created for Prismatic Wastelands' ENNIE-winning bar-crawl campaign setting, Barkeep On The Borderlands:
THE WHIRLING MUMMY Madam Smiling is the never-seen proprietress of The Whirling Mummy, an undead-themed dance hall, named after Madam Smiling's ancient, still-animate consort. + Before the Keep, before goblins lived in caves – a goddess cursed a king to dance. He danced all night, he danced all season. He danced and he died. They buried him dancing. He danced in his tomb of jade mosaic. A quake split the Iron Fens, and cracked his tomb, and spat him out dancing. Tonight, in the mummy's honour: a dance-off! Various crews compete to win their hearts' desire. There has never been a wish Madam Smiling could not grant.
+++
Got my players to make characters using Barkeep's evocative background packages. The party:
Frederick the Foppish Dandy, with a big hat, dueling pistol, and a wealthy fiance called Giorgio ("Georgie!");
Alejandra the Ebullient Dancer, with a tambourine, vial of poison, and her patron the noble chanteuse Lady Gaga;
Melan the Troubled Musician, with a flute, a cymbal-playing pet monkey, and a broken heart.
Serendipitously appropriate, for an adventure featuring a dance contest!
Melan decides they have history with Kril Mouser, leader of the club's musicians.
Ironically, Alejandra spends her whole night off the podium, gassing up the crowd to win over their support.
Frederick ("Freddie!") plays out a rivalry with one of competing dance crews: a trio of voguing toffs.
Freddie ends up being the night's star dancer. "This is the kind of music Frederick plays in his room," his player says:
+++
I rolled a new event for every turn / round of the dance-off, for maximum shenanigans:
A skeleton flapper loses her head on the dance floor. The Dancer turns that skull into a ball the cheering crowd can bounce around. Poor skelly!
A gang of electric-lute-wielding bards storm Kril Mouser's band stage in an attempt to take it over. Melan spends the round fighting them off, earning the musicians' favour. (Alejandra throws her skeleton skull, knocking a bard out.)
A paladin raid on the club for illegal necromancy. This coincides with the last round of the dance-off; Freddie is too drunk to continue, so Melan takes the stage, and duels Master Mocking Of A Million Eyes, the peacock demon and final boss.
Melan's player describes their dance as "Lizzo with a flute, but while performing a Celine-Dion-like ballad".
This means they beat an eldritch horror with a combination of this:
and this:
Nice.
+++
So the party won the dance-off. They are entitled to wishes from Madam Smiling.
Frederick asks to be the richest person in the world;
Alejandra wants to retroactively swap places with her patron Lady Gaga;
Melan selflessly asks for land back for the indigenous lizardfolk. (The industrial district in which the Whirling Mummy sits used to belong to the lizard-people; there were lizard nuns handing out pins outside the club.)
I was very pleased with this game. I think it was my first successful, self-contained one-shot? We played for about three hours, and I felt buoyed by endorphins after.
I love my players. Thank you Am, Ai and Vesha for playing with me; you have kept my love for this game stuff alive.
I lost my voice again, the next day.
+++
Final scene, one year later:
Melan is the opening act for a concert by Lady Alejandra, in a city ruled by Prince Frederick the First.
All of this happens a continent away; the city in which Barkeep is set has been totally erased. A trade agreement has been signed with the lizardfolk queendoms, however---and ambassadors report an incongruous-looking dance hall, in the middle of the marsh.
Inside, it is said, a mummy in jade shoes endlessly dances. Inside, it is said, a dance contest is held, and its prize is whatever your heart desires.













