When We Let Go
Pairings: Playboy!Tom x Reader
Words: 1.2k
Warnings: Angst, alluded sex,
Summary: It’s not like you haven’t tried to forget like he asks you to every morning, but it’s nearly impossible when you find him standing at the doorstep later that night.
A/N: I woke this with the song Drinking Games by Silver Sphere in mind!! I also don’t know how much this makes sense, but nevertheless, I hope you enjoy! Feedback is always loved and appreciated :)
Main Masterlist // Marvel Masterlist
not my gif
You follow Tom into another grand home, the owner and host unknown to you. The music is already blaring, strangers already drunk and stumbling into you and your friends. Zendaya stays by your side as Harrison and Tom head to the kitchen to make each of you drinks. You stay quiet as she mingles, occasionally laughing along with her as you pretend to keep up with conversation.
The boys return momentarily. Tom passes you a cup filled with some concoction he created, something he knows you’ll like; he doesn’t bother asking what you wanted anymore. Now that you think of it, you aren’t sure he ever has.
“Was he with you last night?” Z asks, watching as Harrison and Tom leave once more and disappear into the crowd.
“You already know the answer,” You say, bringing the cup to your lips.
It’s become a routine by now. Tom somehow ends up at your apartment at a time unreasonable for visitors. If he were anyone else, you’d never respond to the texts, you wouldn’t answer his calls, you wouldn’t step aside and let him in. But it’s Tom. He’s always had a knack for getting what he wanted, and you’ve always had a knack for him.
You remember opening the door at ten last night. Tom walked in without invitation, slipping off his jacket and throwing it onto a spare hook with a groan. He sat himself at the kitchen table, waiting for you to pour whatever liquor you had stored in the pantry. He talked about work for a moment as you poured two glasses.
At eleven he was crying. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders so well he has everyone fooled, sometimes, maybe even you. It wasn’t the first time he’s used your shoulder to cry on, it won’t be the last time you wipe away his tears. “You always make it alright.”He said with a hand on your cheek, eyes red and glistening.
He kissed you at twelve. His worries long forgotten as he tangled his fingers in your hair. He said you were beautiful as he laid you amongst your pillows. He smiled while threw his shirt to the side.
He got out of bed at two, soundlessly finding his clothes that were scattered across the floor. You knew the words that would follow all too well. This was a mistake. I care about you too much for this to keep happening. Let’s just forget it. You wish you could say his words don’t hurt any more, that every time he closes the front door it hurts a little less. But even now, after months of playing this game, the pain is almost unbearable.
Z takes ahold of your hand, her eyes warm as she looks at you before speaking. “You know I love Tom, but what he does to you is so unfair.” You can only nod, everything she says is true. It’s not like you haven’t tried to forget like he asks you to every morning, but it’s nearly impossible when you find him standing at the doorstep later that night.
You watch as Tom dances in the center of the room, trying his best not to spill his drink all over him and others. He grins as Harrison says something only he can hear. He waves at you when your eyes meet.
It’s a beautiful and heartbreaking sight. The man you love seemingly so at ease, full of happiness under the neon lights that fill the grand room. If you were anyone else, you’d believe it was genuine. You almost laugh at the absurdity of it all. Not even twelve hours ago he was sobbing, wishing he could just have a peaceful life away from all the fame. Now he’s pretending that he’s the happiest man in the world. It’s clear now why he chose acting as a career.
Tom flirts effortlessly with a stranger beside him. He pulls her close, hands roaming her body as they dance to the music’s beat. You have to look away when her head leans back to his shoulder and his lips graze her neck.
“I think I hate him,” You whisper hoping the party noise would silence your statement, but Zendaya still hears your pain. “He’s such a liar. He wants to act like he wasn’t with me last night, then he brings me to a party just leave with someone else? I—I can’t do this anymore, Z.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” You can tell she wants to say more, to comfort you in any way she can, but a party is no place to have a heart to heart with your best friend.
“I’m gonna head out,” You state with a slight nod, “Yeah, I’m gonna go home.” You say it more to yourself, an effort to convince you to leave him behind.
“Do you want me to come with you?” She asks starting to follow you towards the door.
“No, no stay. Enjoy the party, I’ll text you tomorrow or something, okay?”
“Okay,” She whispers pulling you into a hug, “Tell me when you get home safe.”
You do as she says the moment you step through the front door. You strip out of your party clothes and take an extra long hot shower. You try to wash away tonight, to scrub off Tom’s fingertips and wet kisses. You watch the water swirl down the drain, you imagine it’s taking him with it.
He knocks on the door at twelve. You can see his shadow shift on the other side. Your breathing stops, as if he could see you through the peephole watching you ignore him. You almost let him in when he knocks once more, allowing yourself to fall into his trap once again.
For a moment you tell yourself that he could mend your breaking heart. That this is the night he’ll tell you how he feels. That for once you’d wake up in the morning and he’d be there. But that’s all a fantasy and you know you’ll never get the fairytale ending you deserve. At least, not with Tom.
“Are you asleep?” He finally speaks, his shadow getting closer to the door. He takes a step back when he hears you stand from the couch.
With shaky legs, you carry yourself towards him, allowing yourself to look at him through the tiny hole. His curls are in disarray, he sways on his feet, no doubt from all the alcohol he’s consumed this evening. And even then, he’s still the most beautiful man you’ve had the pleasure of seeing. Tom smiles at you, knowing he’s got you right where he wants.
Tom’s smile disappears when he hears you lock the door. You take a step back, quickly flicking off the light and being devoured by darkness.
At one, you’re buried under the covers, pushing away any thought of the nights Tom spent beside you at this hour. You don’t answer your phone when it starts to ring. After a few seconds his picture disappears, and your room is silent once again. You don’t look at his texts when it dings for a final time. You can always read whatever apology he sent in the morning.
At two, when your eyes finally fall shut, you make peace with falling asleep on your own.
Forever Tags: @superfrankie111 // @rueinn // @lemonadeorange73 // @simplechicwithacrazedheart // @youshutthefuckupville // @captainpeggy40 // @alexdamereysmith
Marvel Tags: @lionsfandomsandbearsohmy // @delicately-written // @smexylemony
