#pleasedontarrestme

[pleasedontarrestme]

[pleasedontarrestme]

[pleasedontarrestme]

[pleasedontarrestme]

[pleasedontarrestme]

[supremequeenrina]

Officer, that’s just my emotional support knife collection. -Karina K

[deimindezbuwu]

Ok imagine a “life hacks!” Or “Self care <3” account. BUT they don’t give you any description of what the hack actually is, you just do what the instructions say to do and hope something good happens.

Like “Chew your milk” but they don’t tell u that you should do this to define your jawline, you just know that you should do it and eventually you try and figure out why it’s a hack like a guessing game.

And of course everyone would follow these because we are gen z idiots and do it for the memes, like fun quarantine self-improvement challenges.

But it’s all a very elaborate plan... The person behind the account has gained a following and uses this to gain trust.

Eventually they post to their page something like “grind up 20 apple cores and use the paste in a smoothie mix!” Then a few select idiots will actually do it thinking it’s a health hack and that “you can’t even taste it! A healthy nutrient dense alternative! Cool!” But then they fucking die of poisoning.

Of course the account would be taken down after all the commenters start warning everyone about how dangerous it is, everyone is freaking out about it and how this could actually hurt someone, and alas, it did.

The person running the account got what they wanted, they wanted to kill anyone who would actually fall for it, they wanted to kill all the idiots who trusted them. Population control, they thought, they wanted to teach everyone a lesson about trusting people online and how harmful some “hacks” can actually be if you’re not careful.

And before their account could be taken down, they make one last post that reads “Natural selection. Think twice before trusting something you read online.”

And a huge fucking scandal breaks out where it’s revealed that maybe like 4 people died because of this and the police are searching for the account-runner. The police don’t find them.

But then... a huge internet campaign comes to fruition about teaching people about what to trust online because of this. The account runner then spends years anonymously lingering on various websites spreading the message.

They tell their story about how they trusted someone online, but they ended up being fooled, and heartbroken. Their backstory of being a victim of backstabbing and lies on the internet, and how they want to spread the message far and wide.

They try to make people understand how the only way people would listen is if they went to the extremes they did, and well, the extremes meant sacrificing a few lives. A few stupid, naive lives.

Thank u for listening

Signed, they.

[dolotonglo]

What actually happened:

Zeke: Eren Yeager, you are not my enemy

Eren: *confusion*

Zeke: Unfortunately your husband is, so ima just hafta kill him finna quick-

Eren: thE HELL YOU WILL