Hi there and welcome to my first Tumblr post ever and probably the first Chishiya x Reader oneshot I wrote this long. I got inspired by other fanfics and writers to finally publish ts loll. Warning, English isn't my first language so there might be mistakes.
Another important thing, the main reason I wrote this is to show how I actually view Chishiya. I love him especially his manga version so much but I think there's a lot more to him than just being cold and intelligent. So that's why I came up with this piece. It's my opinion. I'm never good at describing environments or gestures and I wanted to keep this a simple but emotionally deep oneshot that I hope the right people would like 💕
I don't even know if people will see this 💀💀, but I really really hope lol. Also no Borderlands Au. I know this takes place in a beach but it's just for aesthetic setting lmao it's a random beach not the Aib beach. Don't ask why I chose a beach I just did. Idk. It just happened.
Chishiya and reader already know eachother. I didn't mention anything about their relationship but you can see them as dating or not, doesn't really matter it's up to you.
Don't like it? Don't read it! I won't accept any hate.
The waves gently crashed against the shore, the chilly night breeze caressing your skin as you observed the night sky. Trillions of stars were all seen together as if to resemble a breathtaking art piece you'd find yourself staring at for what would feel like hours.
Then him. Chishiya.
His white, silky shirt along with his slightly disheveled, long platinum blonde hair flew in rhythm with the wind, not to mention the pants and shoes he wore. Casual, comfy, loose. Just the way he liked it.
The luminous moonlight drew attention to his sharp, smooth features that made them look more prominent.
You stood beside him.
He examined the scenery afar, in a muddle of his own thoughts—a million unknown things he simply could not specify. It only felt ironic.
Raising his one hand in the air, then coming to a halt at some point. He kept his hand up there, stretching his slender fingers, savoring each motion. Trying to reach for the moon. Trying desperately to reach for... Something.
But what?
"How... Delicate."
He commented on nothing in particular.
He didn't know what.
Was it connection?
Or something entirely different?
He didn't know. He had no idea.
You turned towards him when he spoke. You chose not to say anything, watching and observing him quietly. Curious.
His lips curled up a little. A small, almost unnoticeable smirk could be visible on his face illuminated by the beaming shimmer. However, it held no jest nor mischief behind it. It was... Just a smirk. One that didn't reach his eyes.
That detail wasn't usual... What was going on inside his head, why wasn't he teasing you with those snarky responses you knew?
"... But I don't feel it."
"Feel what?"
You chimed in while you tilted your head, encouraging him to continue. You wished to comprehend.
His smirk vanished just as quickly as it came, showcasing his true feelings at the moment. It didn't escape from you.
"... Isn't it strange? These..."
He muttered quietly before you cut him off without any bite in your words.
"What is strange?"
You wanted to get him to finally talk about the war in his mind. He was always such a difficult person to solve. He could easily read anyone, but he never let anyone else read him. You'll never know what's coming, so why be vulnerable?
Why let yourself get hurt when you can put up a detached facade to avoid getting used. Why let people betray you when you know just the right tricks...
It wasn't something Chishiya would actually feel proud of, as smug as he acted. Sometimes, we just do things because we have to. Not because we want to.
He frowned, then released a practically inaudible sigh. He didn't bother to look at you, his gaze locked on the same spot, his raised hand unmoving. The silence felt oddly soothing.
...He didn't care if you listened or not.
Or did he?
Maybe he did care.
Only a little.
"What is strange...?"
He repeated.
"..."
"I'm not sure. Maybe it's everything. Or maybe it's nothing."
He retorted.
The young man chuckled dryly, letting his hand finally drop, his arm dangling to the side.
You raised an eyebrow. Your gaze drifted back to the sea, softly exhaling through your nose, crossing your arms.
"Everything and nothing? You don't know... But why?"
Chishiya didn't say anything. Eventually,
"Isn't it all useless, [Name]? I don't understand. Everything is futile. Emotions... Connections... They're all useless."
Your eyes widened slightly, you hadn't expected an answer like that.
"Useless...? They're not useless, Chishiya. We rely on eachother when the world feels too harsh. We feel, we connect, and we sacrifice when he have to."
Chishiya's expression remained unreadable as he processed your answer. Something between a scoff and a breath slipped from his lips.
"Safety? Feel? Though... I'm pretty curious about something, [Name]."
A pause.
"Do you still believe in humanity?"
You were quiet at that, again, not expecting such a question so suddenly. Though, the silence didn't last long. You sighed.
"I... I do. It's true that the world is cruel, right? But if I lose hope in both others and myself, no one will be there to save me in the end, you know. I certainly wouldn't want that, huh."
Before you could say something else, Chishiya couldn't help but state bluntly. Still, what you said quite caught his attention even if he tried to deny it... He was a little intrigued.
"But humans—we're all selfish creatures, aren't we? I mean..."
Chishiya shrugged. His shoulders slumped a little as he settled his hands in the pockets of his pants, the faint noise of the waves echoing in the background.
He looked at the sand below his shoes.
"Everything we do, everything humans sacrifice... It's just so pointless." He repeated again and again, as if pointless was all he ever knew. "You're either the one who uses or the one getting used. It makes you doubt it all. And lose hope."
He sounded different from usual... As if you finally realized that he was much more than just a poker face and a grin.
He always wondered,
For what purpose did he exist anyway?
Ruthless, careless, heartless.
Empty. Apathetic.
He was solely a proof of how empty a person could be, as he called himself.
Why did he even trust you in the first place to say that? Trust was a deeply unfamiliar (and creepy) concept for him... And yet, he didn't mind. Not at this point. The words just came out unconsciously.
"I've been absurdly drifting through this farce we call life without the luxury of feeling."
He confessed.
The young man could never bring himself to care about his own share of experiences, no matter how unfair it felt. As the moonlight cast its pallid glow over the two figures, he wondered idly what it would be like to feel again. To truly, deeply feel.
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Honestly I wanted to continue this and add more reader responses but it just felt so right to stop it here so I just did lol. Like and subscribe and hit that bell if you enjoyed /j‼️‼️🔥🔥💯💯💥💥
