Dreamboy Episode 2: The Boy & The Buck
DISCLAIMER: During the show, there are sounds and background noise playing as if to seem like you are actually there. This is what goes inside his brain, almost like he is talking to himself. The parts in “” are what he or other people say out loud. Also, I apologize for the spelling of names.
DANE: [Snoring]
RADIO: [Starts and plays opera] [High pitched note]
DANE: “Uh! Okay. Okay Okay. I’m up, I’m up... 12. 12. It’s 12. 12 am…”
RADIO:[Clapping and women saying ‘thank you. Thank you’]
DANE: “Fuck.” I’m half hanging off my bed, sheets twisted in my legs, pillows on the floor. Hand on my face.
MAN ON RADIO: “That was ‘The Mint Apple’ music by Francois Gearde. Preformed there by Allison Balvinbalm at the Cleveland Moriarity last Sunday evening. Ms. Bavinbalm’s offered a stunning program consisting mostly of Gearde’s songs and arias. And if you would like to hear more opera tonight, tune in later for ‘Opera Tonight’ with Brian Kettering. The news is coming up, but first a small pivan for solo piano, from French composer John Luplane.”
[Piano music starts playing]
DANE: I do not believe I did the A.M. /P.M. alarm mix-up thing. The radio alarm, which is usually news in the morning, is currently deep in its late-night classical program. Jesus, who stays up all night listening to this shit. I have to pee anyway. So I get up and I float to the bathroom in the dark. Arms out in front of me like a Macy’s Day balloon of a huge naked man, grumbling.
I pee, I flush, I shuffle back to bed. But, just before I lay down I hear something. Outside. In the front yard. Through the open window. Like a small voice. I walk over to the window. And then I jump and hide as soon as I see them. It’s the little girls from the grocery store. Standing under the street light in front of my house. Staring right up at me.
“What the fuck.”
I give it a few seconds. And then I look again. But now they are gone. I know I just saw them, they were just here. Then they reappear under another streetlight down the block, walking fast. They turn the corner and they’re gone. I go back to bed. But I feel off, something feels off. I’ve been seeing these little girls everywhere since the grocery store last weekend. They’re always ducking down allies and looking away when I look like they’re following me. I try to calm down. I try doing these breathing exercises that this boy in New York taught me.
[Inhaling] “One two three. Dollars in the bank.”[Exhaling]
[Inhaling] “One two three. Dollars in the bank.”[Exhaling]
It doesn’t seem to be working. I pull the covers up to my chin like I haven’t done since I was a kid.
MAN ON THE RADIO: “We just heard a lovely, if a bit meandering, pivan by John Luplane. Now it’s time for the news.”
[News music]
“Authorities have their first lead in the search for a plane that went missing over Lake Erie last weekend. Species of scavenger fish have been reported in the north-central part of the lake and could indicate the possible presence of large carcasses in the water, according to officials. In other news, Judge Elizabeth Gardner is set to rule on the controversial case of Zoe the Zebra sometime in the following week. The zebra is being quarantined and faces mandatory euthanization after an incident resulting in the death of 12-year-old Ian Harris last summer. Eli Critch, director of the zoo, declined to comment on the Zoe controversy, but instead flashing his infamous smile at reporters and said ‘Love is timeless. We’ll see you next spring for the new exhibit, The Forgotten Sea.’”
DANE: “How do you forget a whole sea?”
MAN ON RADIO: “And later this week we are turning to the garden center outside of the Lawsers-[fades into background]”
DANE: I’m starting to calm down. And I’m hot so I pull the covers down to a normal adult place. And close my eyes.
MAN ON RADIO: “-and call the station and give us your best impersonation of an orchid. What does an orchid sound like? Hm? Boohoo Bree pp [continues making noises in the background]”
DANE: And this guy’s voice is actually relaxing.
MAN ON RADIO: “Buhhhhhh. You know, I don’t know. Who knows. Anyway, the weather. Feels like there is definitely something blowing in off the lake. Currently 66 degrees and blustery. Chance of rain in the early morning hours. It’s just after midnight and this is 897 Classical Cleveland. Which must mean, I’m Dan Rudelstein. Welcome.
Next up we have a real piece of musical esertaria for you. Now most of you are probably familiar with ‘Hale to the Chief’, the official fanfare that plays whenever the United States president enters a room or formal function. But there are other less known and seldom heard pieces of music associated with the U.S. presidency. Take for example, the Inaugural Waltz. Now, the first Inaugural Waltz was composed in 1809 for the inauguration of James Madison and was danced by James and his wife, Dolly, at the ball. And it was such a hit, everybody loved so much they said we need to have one for every inauguration. So a new waltz was commissioned, composed, and dance at every inauguration all the way up until 1933, when F.D.R. did away with the tradition of dancing the waltz. Calling it a quote ‘thick ritual for thin times.’ Now, the waltz did not go quietly into the night, no [laughs]. Instead it went underground and remained a vital part of the ceremonial fabric of the inauguration. A new waltz still being commissioned and composed for every president all the way up through present day. However, most of this music has never been heard, until now. In a fabulous new recording entitled ‘Undanced’. Some of this music finally gets it debut. So, without further ado, here is the United States Marine band, augmented by the United States Marine Chamber Orchestra under the baton of Lieutenant Colonel James K. Montoc with ‘Dance of the Honey Wasp.’ The official inaugural waltz of President Ronald and first lady Nancy Reagan.” [Music starts playing]
DANE: I know he just it didn’t happen but I can’t help but picture it. A dark ballroom. A circle pf stoned faced dignitaries standing around. Ronald on one side, Nancy on the other. Slowly they approach a spotlight in the middle of a big dancefloor. They grab onto each other and lean in and say something in their nasty secret little language. Then they smile. Take a breath. And start waltzing.
RADIO: [Waltz starts]
DANE: Ugh. As they spin, his joules come out like wings like gross flesh wings. Ugh. I’m getting sick just thinking about it. Them spinning around and around and around. And around.
RADIO: [Music continues to play then turns ominous at around 9:24]
DANE: I’m back in the dream. Totally submerged in that dark water. Hanging. Swaying. And then the cold on my legs again. And again I try to get away. Swimming harder and harder until I’m thrashing and I open my mouth to scream. And nothing. Everything is dark and still for what seems like a really long time. And then, a light. Soft but growing coming from everywhere. Like dawn. And the water goes from black to cloudy green all around me. Except for some of the water stays black. The water below me. A shadow. And then it moves like a wall. It slides away into the green murk in front of me and I watch the spot where it disappeared. I keep watching. Waiting. And then I see its face come out of the green. It’s so big it’s-it’s the size of a front of a school bus. It stops. Like 20 feet from me. Like it’s looking at me. But its eyes look dead. Black with bony circles around them. And its jaws are, lust huge jagged bone blades that don’t quite fit together all the way. They are hanging half open. All of a sudden they start to move. They start opening. And I feel the water around me start to flow towards the mouth. No. No. NO. And the mouth is opening wider and wider and I try to get away. [Gasp and music returns to background]
I turn off the radio. I sit up in bed. I throw off the covers. I’m in the guest bedroom at Emily’s house. I look down. My dick is so hard it’s throbbing. My belly is wet with pre-cum. A breeze from the open window makes it feel instantly cold. The open window. I remember the girl scouts and get creeped out all over again. My eyes fall on a rectangle of warm light on the bedroom wall. The house next to Emily’s is empty, it’s been on the market for months now, ever since I got here and the realtor comes everyday almost to show it and I see him come and go. But when he leaves he leaves lights on inside the house. I guess to deter break-ins at night. Anyway, since there are no curtains on the windows these lights cast rectangles of warm light all over, all around the house. On the lawn, on the side of Emily’s house, and one in my bedroom. I’m looking at it right now, trying not to think of those girl scouts, when all of a sudden it vanishes. Like it had never been there at all. Leaving perfectly blue wall. Blue as a whale dream. And then it starts. The thrum thrum thrum of blood in my neck and the physical arrival of a question. I can feel it in my gut. Why did the light go out? Now there are plenty of perfectly reasonable explanations of why the light went out but for some reason my brain is only interested in the terrifying ones, the unreasonable ones. I have to look. I get out of bed, I start walking to my window but a chilling thought occurs me just before I get there, what if there is someone or something in the empty house? It could see me If I’m next to my window. So I jump on my bed and army roll across it and I land on the floor on the other side in the dark. And I walk until the window of the empty house comes into view through my window. I try to squint into it. Try to see into the blackness beyond the reflection of the streetlight but I can’t. And then, another light, from the side. It’s the motion light from behind the house. And then another question, what’s moving in the backyard? So I put on shorts and I go downstairs. I can hear the old house moving all around me, groaning like I woke it up. And I get into the kitchen and that motion light is blaring through all of the windows and it’s coming through the crack and the backdoor, it’s like ‘Close Encounters’ of the third kind down there and I walk up to the backdoor and I look out the window and I try to peek over the privacy fence into the yard of the empty house next door but I can’t see over the privacy fence. I mean it’s a privacy fence. I’m gonna have to go outside. So I take a breath and I open the door and I step out onto the porch. It’s cold. I can see my breath. I walk to the edge of the porch and I look over the privacy fence into the backyard of the empty house. Nothing. Just the driveway of the empty house. A long satin grey loaf that runs all the way down to the street. And the new sod of the backyard, green. Half of the backyard is in shadow. And just then the motion light clicks off. And it’s like everything relaxes. And slowly my yes just starts to adjust and the nighttime starts to give me things back and that faint blue outline stuff, there’s like a hose spool in the backyard. And the electric meter on the side of the house and then a pair of large eyes. I find them already watching me. And then antlers come into view above the eyes. And something about our eyes connecting must have engendered and ultimatum in the buck because it straightens up and looks at me for just a second before it takes off and dashes down the drive way. And the motion light comes on and splashes its warm hide in my eyes for just a second before it’s gone. I watch it disappear Run into the street. And everything is quiet except for the hum of the motion light. And then the flick of a lighter. I instinctively hunch down. A small orange ember appears on the back porch of the empty house. It floats towards the edge, until a young man comes into view. He is young but his skin is covered in what look like tattoos. He takes a hit of his cigarette and leans out into the light and looks down the driveway to where the buck disappeared. And then he turns and his eyes meet mine.
“Fuck.”
He lets the hit go until the smoke obscures his face and when the smoke clears his eyes have moved on. I don’t think he saw me. He’s looking over his shoulder, scanning the dark yards. And then he takes his cigarette and he puts it in his lips and holds it there in that way that smokers do where they sorta purse their lips. And his hands goes down to his pants. He undoes his button, his zipper, puts one thumb in the elastic of his underwear and pulls down until his dick flops over and hangs there. My eyes swallow it. It’s big and floppy and it has one long view that zig zags through it like a river. And the foreskin ruffed and folds around the head, it looks like the collar of ancient royalty. It’s lit dramatically by the motion light on the garage, it’s like a diva getting ready for her aria. I see his checks suck in as he pulls in on his cigarette. The ember brightens. My eyes widen. Her music starts. And then the motion light clicks off. And the slat sound of piss hitting new sod. Then after a few second the cigarette is a shooting star, explodes on the driveway. And then I hear the screen door on the empty house shut and I’m left alone, in the dark. Piss steam and cigarette smoke drifting towards me and I feel like a young boy after his first magic show.
I go back inside and I go back upstairs. Call it a hunch but I get my phone out and I re-download Grindr. I sign in with my email and my password, it takes like 10 seconds and I’m back on the grid. And sure enough, right next to me is a blank profile, 20 feet away. I click on it. It expands. No age, 5’8”, 130lbs, right now. And then the sounds. Brrip.
NO NAME: “Hey.”
DANE: “Hey.”
NO NAME: “Big buck, huh?”
DANE: “Yeah it was.”
NO NAME: “Are there a lot around here?”
DANE: “Yeah they like the lake.”
NO NAME: “What lake?”
DANE: “Um, Lake Erie. It’s one of the Great Lakes.”
NO NAME: “LOL, you’re funny. More pics?”
DANE: The headlights of a car swing through my window and I hear the unmistakable sound of tires on driveway grid. I get up and look. An SUV is parked in the driveway of the empty house next door. A man gets out. It’s the realtor.
Brrip
NO NAME: “I have to go. I’ll talk to you soon. I’m Luke by the way.”
DANE: Luke. Luke? This is Luke from the cake box? The realtor goes into the house. The lights that were on inside the house turn off one by one. I see two shadows move on each other, their legs tangling. They spill into another dark room and I lose them for a minute. I get closer to my window and I wait. And when they reappear, their forms are defined by the dim glow of streetlight. Luke is naked and bent over. The realtor is behind him, still wearing his shirt and loosen tie and there is rhythm to their movement. Soft lion's flexing with each other. I feel myself getting hard in my shorts. The realtor quickens and Luke’s eyes close tight. His jaw falls open a little more with each thrust. I start touching myself. Luke steadies himself with an arm on the window ledge. The realtor reaches around and puts his fingers in Luke’s mouth.
“Fuck this is hot.”
I’m rubbing my dick through my shorts. The realtor runs his other hand up Luke’s back, threads it through his blonde hair, makes a fit and pulls Luke’s head back hard. His eyes swing up towards me in the window and I see him see me. My hand on my dick. And then he smiles wide. As much as a person can smile with fingers in their mouth. So I slide my shorts off and get closer to the window so he can see all of me. My dick is rock hard now and I start jerking off. Faster and faster. And realtor is drumming away on his own holy agenda and completely unaware of me. But Luke eyes are locked on my dick and the realtor’s rhythm reaches a climax and his drumming turns into this sort of twitching. [Breathing hard] And I feel myself build and build and let go and I hear it hit the window. And I double over. When I look up they are gone and my cum is running like slow milk down the pane. After a little bit I see them reappear in another window, in the kitchen of the empty house. The realtor dressed, tightening his tie. Luke is still naked. They are facing each other. And then a flash of movement. The realtor pulls his hand back and punches Luke hard in the face. Luke spins and falls back down out of view and the realtor turns quickly and leaves. I see his legs rushing through the dark house. I back away from my window. My heart starts pounding. I hear a car door and then an engine and then the lights swing back through my room the way they came.
“What do I do?”
I peak out again. I look down at the kitchen window. Nothing. He still hasn’t gotten up. So I put on jeans and a hoodie and shoes and I go downstairs. And I go out my front door and I cross the lawns and the driveway. And u on the porch of the other house. I try the handle. It’s open. I go inside.
“Hello?”
Nothing. I make my way to the back, to the kitchen. Just around the corner, I see him. Luke. Laying there naked on the kitchen floor. Bloody. His face is young, gorgeous. And his dick is rock hard. Bobbing. And what looked like tattoos before are actually bruises. All over his body. Like little storms. I lean down and I shake him. he comes to.
LUKE: [Inhales]
DANE: his eyes widen when he sees my face. He looks down at his bare chest and fingers the red pooling in his collarbone.
“Hey. Hey, don’t worry, it looks a lot worse than it is.”
LUKE: “Great. Take a picture.”
DANE: He hands me his phone and I reach out to take it but we both just hold onto it and stare at each other. And my stomach feels weird like it wants to crawl out of my mouth. But in a good way?
SONG:
That sound could be the sound of laughing
Not the cold October wind
Maybe this feeling is the beginning
And not the end
And this cold autumn day could be the first day of spring
Any moment the songbirds could start
And I could find someone beside me
In the dark
In the dark
[CREDITS]
