Age 11. The delicate signs of puberty erupt around me. My face is still my face, but painted a pattern I didn't choose. I have to shamefully pick out 10/12 panties knowing my best friend wore 5/6. We were in the 5th grade.
Age 13. I'm starting to grow into my curves and get embarrassed when I need pads. Why are these men staring at me like that? I wonder if this is how my body should exist. I am reminded I'm "always hungry". I didn't know it meant blasphemy.
Age 17. Pilates. I look in the mirror and think I am healthy. Why did my best friend call me "too skinny". Maybe I should eat a burger.
Age 20. I am surrounded by vultures who see open invitations to pick me apart. "Are you sure you can eat that?". I am confused. I still have to pick out 10/12 panties.
Age 23. It's hard to build a healthy relationship with your body when no matter the size, you are wrong. Why do I feel pretty when I'm hungry, yet sick and disgusting when I find myself savoring the taste of cake.
Maybe 11 year old me would know.