Location: Alistair's home Timing: current, after To Have Loved and Lost Parties: Alistair & Isa (@poisonousdelights) Summary: Isa rushes to Alistair after hearing that there's been a death in the family. Alistair fills Isa in on all that's transpired. Content Warnings: Child death, Parental Death, Alcohol tw
‘There was a death in the family. The shop will be closed for a while.’
The text, coming from almost anyone else, would have elicited a sympathetic heart, maybe have Isa scrambling funds together to try and send flowers, but when it came from her boss she quickly grabbed her keys and locked up the apartment. Alistair didn’t have many they considered family. There were only a few people that death could have pertained to and she wasn’t about to let them sit around and endure the grief alone. She could already feel the emotion tugging at her, underlying the fear that was ever present as she raced all the way to the shop, her mind imagining so many different scenarios in the absence of the truth that was waiting for her.
She was panting by the time she’d made it to the front door of the Sugar Pot and threw her key into the lock. The shop was quiet, dark, but she still searched the downstairs area as much as she could before Isa turned her eyes to the stairs that lead to Alistair’s living quarters. For the first time she hesitated, glued to her spot while she weighed the options. They could hate that she’d shown up. They could be angry with her invading their space. They could yell for her to leave so they could wallow alone.
They could reveal who had been taken from their world and break her heart over again.
But it didn’t matter in the end. What mattered was being there, being someone they could rely on despite her earlier disappearance from their life. She didn’t want them to wallow alone so she moved, taking the steps two at a time until she made it to the closed door and knocked.
There was no answer, Isa fearing that maybe her taps against the wood were too soft, but deep down she knew they weren’t. She reached for the door knob and slowly opened the front door to their home, only taking a small step inside. “Alistair?” She kept her voice low, not wanting to break through the silence that grief left in its wake too harshly. The last thing she wanted was to scare anyone. She didn’t have to call out anymore though, Isa spotting Alistair sitting in a chair through the darkness that shrouded them. By their side in seconds, she quickly took their hand in her own and knelt beside them, tears pooling in her eyes but not yet falling. “What happened? What do you need?”
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Melody was gone, and Tommy no longer had his mother. His father had been killed as a baby, which meant one thing. According to Melody’s will, he had custody over Tommy. They had managed to get Tommy to lie down in the guest room, a room that would have to be completely redone to accommodate the young boy’s tastes. They didn’t bother turning on the light, they didn’t bother to eat. Instead, they simply sat in a chair at the dining table, sunglasses off, showing the scarring that covered their face.
A new voice cut through the darkness, and Alistair could barely get themselves to turn their head in the direction of the voice. “Isa?” They called back, brows knitting together in confusion. “What are you doing here?” They questioned as she asked what she could do for them.
Their face fell, remembering the events. “To understand what happened, you must know what I truly am,” they decided. They couldn’t hide this from Isa, she was too close to things now. “Tommy was killed by a monster,” they began in a quiet tone, not wanting Tommy to hear in case he was awake. “And I have the ability to bring back the dead. I am a spellcaster. A necromancer.” They explained, brows knitting together. “The law of equivalent exchange states that in order to bring back the dead of one, it must be in exchange for another of the same. Melody was a master of mental magic, and so, too, will Tommy as he gets older.”
Alistair paused, hoping they didn’t need to spell out what happened after that, but Isa’s silence spoke volumes. “She begged me to take his place. And Tommy’s her son,” their voice broke as they relived the memories, tears pooling in their eyes. “She was inconsolable, I had to… had to do the unthinkable.” They pressed a hand to their chest where the sigil tethered the two together. “He is alive because of me.” He blinked, then looked toward Isa, over her shoulder. “Melody is dead because of me.”
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She didn’t even bother answering the question of why she was there. They should know. Even if Alistair didn’t consider Isa close enough, something she wasn’t sure of no matter their assurances, she still considered them as so much more than her boss. They were her family. If they needed her she would be there.
Her lungs burned from the gasp that tore through her. Tommy…no, not Tommy. He was too young. There was still so much he hadn’t experienced, it wasn’t fair. Her eyes filled with unshed tears as her free hand came up to cover her mouth, Isa attempting to stop the strangled sound that was threatening to spill from her throat as Alistair started to speak again. They were throwing so much information at her at once that was hard to follow through the grief clouding her mind. They could bring back the dead…equal exchange… mental magic. None of it was making sense to her, not until they told her that Melody had asked to take her son's place.
It shouldn’t have been a surprise. Melody was that type of person through and through. Of course she wanted to make sure Tommy got to live, Isa was sure that she couldn’t live without him. Her hand gripped theirs tighter with the broken words, her own tears spilling over. Her head shook resolutely, hand falling from her mouth. “No, Alistair. She’s not dead because of you.” Even if they were the one to take her last breath it was Melody who had made that choice. “She’s dead because she asked you to save her son and I don’t think she would have ever forgiven you if you had refused. It’s not your fault. You gave her exactly what she wanted. You let Tommy live.” She knew the words would be little comfort. She knew what Melody had meant to Alistair. But even so, hopefully they would stick and somewhere down the line they wouldn’t continue to blame themself.
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Isa was right, Melody would never have forgiven them if they had let Tommy stay dead. Hell, Alistair wouldn’t have forgiven themselves. “He’s too young, I couldn’t…” They clutched their chest where the sigil was, knowing that they had to keep themselves alive for Tommy, and not themselves. “He’s tied to me.” They explained as they brought down the collar of their shirt to expose the intricate symbol that seemed to be tattooed to their skin. “If anything happens to me, then Tommy is gone.” There was a fear in Alistair’s voice, not for themselves, but for their son. “I love him with all my heart, but he doesn’t deserve to be tied to my fate.”
They took a deep breath as they let go of their shirt collar and covered up the marking. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I was never meant to be the sole carer of a child.” Alistair hissed in a low voice, staring blankly at their hands they couldn’t see. “I’m… I’m not equipped for this, I… I can’t run the shop by myself, I’m blind! I’m not… not Melody.”
They dropped their head into their hands, letting out a tired sigh. “I can’t do this. I can’t do any of this. Not on my own.” They ran rubbed their face with a groan, then shook their head. “So if you’d be willing to help me, maybe in a management position while I run the shop behind the scenes, I don’t know.” They knew they were talking about the logistics of a shop when their partner in crime was just killed, but they didn’t know how to cope by stopping, only to keep going because the thought of taking a break was worse than death. No, they had to barrel through, allow the grief to happen but not consume them completely.
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“He deserves a life, and you’re giving him that even if that means he’s-” She paused, looking over the symbol on Alistair’s skin as everything started to finally hit her. This was way more complicated than she could ever imagine but she was still there, still ready to help with whatever they needed. “Even if it means you have to be more careful with your own life. You’re at least giving him a chance.” Isa was amazed they could do even that. She knew magic was powerful, her own curse was indicative of that, but never could she have dreamed that a spellcaster could bring someone back from the dead.
Isa pressed her lips together, curling them inward as she took in their words. Her hand came up to wipe away the flowing tears, for once wishing that she wasn’t so damn emotional all the time. Alistair didn’t need that. Even if they couldn’t see her crying she still needed to be strong for them. “Nobody can be Melody.” The whispered words left her lips before she could think to stop them but they were true. Melody had been a force, one of the most amazing women she had ever encountered. “You don’t have to know everything right now. My mom used to say that no parent knows what they’re doing until they learn and that comes with time. You can’t put that pressure on yourself.”
Her eyes widened with their suggestion to have her step into a management role. Alistair had brought up training her to take on some of Melodie’s responsibilities but she’d never thought that she would have to step up and take on her role altogether. The thought terrified her, it truly did. But Alistair had helped Isa on so many occasions, had been there to talk to her about her troubles, and she cared for them so much that she couldn’t fathom not helping as much as she could. They wouldn’t have to do this alone if she had any say in that matter. She nodded, momentarily forgetting the fact that they couldn’t see her, before clearing her throat. “I can do that. I can do whatever you need me to do, just say the word.”
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Alistair slowly nodded their head, sucking in a breath. Isa wasn’t running away, wasn’t turning them down. Instead, she was willing to help. And that was rarer for them. Rare to have anyone want to help because of who they were as a person. Not good, loose morals. Nothing more than a necromancer that people looked down on. But after everything, they had people that stood by them. Isa being one of them. And for that, they were grateful.
“I’ll iron out details when I have a more coherent mind.” They murmured. “Shop’s remaining closed for the rest of the week. I’ve already informed the other employees.” Alistair stared vacantly forward, most of what they were saying and doing was completely on autopilot. “She… I buried her myself.” Alistair frowned, brows pinching together. “Tommy, he’s a wreck, no surprise there. He’s going to be for a while.”
Alistair bounced their knee restlessly as they spoke, their whole world was unraveling and they couldn’t hold onto anything as they fell. They were in a free fall while everything around them lay destroyed. “Wherever Melody is, I hope she finds peace.” He whispered, voice breaking as they tried to hold themselves together, that crack in the dam widening, threatening to break.
“Isa, I truly don’t know what to do. About anything.” Alistair buried their scarred face in their hands, then shook their head. “I’m wrapped up in something. Something that could get me killed if I’m not careful.” They frowned, knowing that things could go wrong. “I plan to make sure I come back in case of my death. But things could go wrong. I could be a shell of myself, the spell could backfire. A multitude of things. If something goes wrong, I…” Alistair shook their head, resolve hardening. “I can’t let anything go wrong. I’ll come back, and I’ll be the guardian that Tommy needs. But if the spell goes weird, I’ll let you know. Be prepared for anything.”
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She could only nod as they spoke, the girl not prepared to take on the responsibility of what Alistair was asking of her but determined to do her best anyway. This was their livelihood after all, and her own as well. Not many places around here would hire her based on her conviction even if she screamed about her innocence until she was blue in the face. But Isa had always been someone who didn’t back down from challenges, rising to the occasion more often then not, and she was sure she would learn what she needed to. Almost sure…there was only like twenty percent of that doubt gnawing in her stomach.
Her eyes snapped up to them as they spoke of burying her, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. How awful that must have been for them. Burying someone so close was difficult enough but doing it themself and alone? “You know you could have called me, right?” It was a gentle reminder, Isa hoping that if there was a next time that they would remember. Burying a body wasn’t ideal, but she would do it for them. There was nothing to say about Tommy though, nothing she could say. He would have to work those feelings out himself with their support.
“I don’t-” Her words cut off as Alistair continued, Isa now confused. “What did you do?” More gentle words, no judgment in the question full of worry. What were they talking about? Her mind went to Tommy and she stood straighter, that worry ebbing on the brink of anger. How could they connect their life to Tommy if whatever they were doing could get them killed? How could they put themself in that position in the first place? She wanted to ask them all of those questions but she knew that it would only add to Alistair’s panic with this whole situation. They were already so torn up about Melody, she didn’t want to push them further into that hole. She swallowed the words, taking a deep breath before she continued. “How do I help so that it doesn’t go wrong? What can I do?”
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Alistair shook their head slowly as Isa gave her gentle reminder. “I’m not used to relying on others,” they confessed in a quiet voice. “I… spent my whole life relying on no one but myself.” They shook their head, realizing it was no excuse. “I’m getting used to it, relying on others. Reaching out when I need help.” They stood up after a moment, walking over to the barcart near the kitchen and pulling out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses then walked back to the table. They unscrewed the top of the whiskey bottle, felt for the rim of the glass, then poured.
Without even thinking, they drank the small amount they had poured without making a face, dull behind the eyes. “The Good Neighbors are an organization that take hold of anyone with supernatural abilities that cause problems in town,” Alistair began to explain. “I’ve been helping the leader since she created the organization.” Alistair frowned, shaking their head. “I’m not a good man, Isa.” They finally said after pouring another glass.
“In order to heal people, I’m required to injure someone else. You get stabbed through the heart, I stab someone else through the heart to save your life. People have been coming to me for years. Melody was my right hand.” Alistair let the silence after their admission swallow them whole. Isa had every right to think them a monster, they were a monster. “I’m the one that should be locked away, not the people in cages.” They downed the second glass.
“I did it because these people we take in, they’ve done horrible things. I told myself, they’re monsters. They’ve killed people. They’ve tortured people. Why would they be missed? I’m helping people that haven’t done bad things, I’m helping people that deserve to be saved.” Alistair shook their head. “I’m the villain of this story. You have every right to run away.”
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“You can…you can rely on me.” She was having doubts though, especially with their next confession. Taking hold of supernatural creatures? What did that mean? What would they do to her if they knew what she was? Would they still want anything to do with her or would they take action against her like they seemed to be doing with others? Suddenly, Isa was nervous. She’d wanted to talk to Alistair about her curse, see if they knew who could have possibly done this to her, but now it didn’t seem like such a good idea. Especially since she wasn’t sure what they were actually doing with these people.
She had always believed that Alistair was a good person. The way they had taken her under their wing at work, let her stay even knowing about her past, and then welcomed her back with open arms had always steered her beliefs toward them being understanding and caring and someone she could look up to. But now they were talking about people in cages and they’d taken the life of someone they loved and linked them together knowing that they weren’t in the greatest position to do so.
But they had locked up people who were doing horrible things to others. They’d linked their life to Tommy’s to bring him back by Melody’s request. Could that be considered bad? She hated the thought of hurting anyone but everything seemed to be for good reasons, right? The blacks were bleeding into the whites of her thoughts and she was so confused. Her head was spinning but she wanted so badly to keep making excuses for them, to continue believing they were good. So, Isa took another breath and did just that.
“You say you’re the villain…” The lamia took a few steps toward them, nerves still churning her stomach. “But you’re only taking care of people who are hurting others, right? Not the ones who are doing what they can to make sure they aren’t bringing danger to anyone?” Isa reached out, hesitant, and touched their hand. “I don’t think that makes you a villain.” She didn’t want to believe that made them a villain. “I think you’re doing bad things for the greater good. I don’t fully understand it all but from what you’ve said…”
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“That’s what I’ve continuously told myself,” Alistair responded before biting at their lower lip. Then, Isa reached out and touched their hand, and for once, Alistair didn’t recoil at another’s touch. They let it happen, they let someone in. Someone that wasn’t Melody, someone that wasn’t Mikael. “If you don’t see me the villain, perhaps it’s not me that has visual impairment.” Alistair remarked with a frown.
Still, she was trying her best to see the good in them when they had long abandoned all hope. Even Mikael had abandoned hope on the matter. “I’m trying to be better.” They murmured. “But necromancy, it’s a cruel magic. I don’t hex and curse, but I raise the dead. I have the power to bend undead to my will.” They shook their head, then sighed, pulling their hand away from Isa’s grasp gently.
“To stand by me is to accept this. If you can handle it, then I appreciate you and your ability to do so. If not, I won’t hold it against you. You have every right to walk away from this situation.” Something fell over from the side of the room, and Alistair knew who it was in an instant. “Don’t go,” the small voice of Tommy called out from the guest room, head poking out from behind the door. “I like Isa. And Al, you’re not a bad person. Mom always said you beat yourself down. Mom’s right. And if you loved Mom like you said you did, then you’ll… you’ll listen to her. You’ll be strong for me. For us. For Isa. For the shop. For Brutus.”
Alistair blinked, taken aback by the twelve-year-old’s words. “Wise beyond your years, Thomas.” Alistair replied with a gentle smile. “Come out here, it’s alright.” He spoke, voice soft and calm, extending an arm out so that Tommy could tuck himself underneath it, hugging Alistair’s side.
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Maybe she was the blind one. Intentionally turning the other cheek just because she wanted to hold onto anyone who seemed to care made her just as bad, didn’t it? Compliance equaled guilt, she’s always thought so, and yet she was willing to do just that. Perhaps it was because Alistair had given her that parental figure she’d lost years ago, even if in the smallest of ways. They’d never truly let her in but they’d done just enough to keep Isa loyal, to make her look up to them. Deep down, she knew that. She knew it was why she was hesitating to leave them and everything they were doing behind.
Tommy’s voice brought her out of her thoughts, her eyes darting to him and instantly watering once again. It was so good to see him alive, so good to feel some of the heartache from that night easing at just the sight of him. His words only cemented in her mind that sticking by Alistair was the right decision. If Melody thought so…well, who was she to contradict that? Isa watched Tommy go to Alistair’s side, her own smile pulling at her lips though not reaching her eyes. “I think you and your mom are right. They do beat themselves down.” She nodded, looking up to Alistair’s face as her decision was made. “I’m not going anywhere. Looks like you’re stuck with me.” She played it off, a nonchalant teasing response to a question she knew both of them held, but the weight of that decision was starting to build on her shoulders. She told herself it was because Alistair was helping. She told herself she was sticking around for Tommy. But really, the decision was purely selfish. She loved the little family that the store had created and she would be damned if she lost yet another one.
