Consigned to Oblivion

Alistair Mckenzie - Necromancer ||Closed RP for Wickeds Rest||

[luckylockjaw]

Daredevil? Blind crime-fighting badass? C'mon. I bet you'd look good in red.

[deathsplaything]

I'm not much of a crime fighter, nor is red my color.

[luckylockjaw]

Obviously the solution here is learnin' to Daredevil that shit.

[deathsplaything]

I don't... know what the fuck that means.

[highoctanegem]

That's so rude :/ it's time to whip out the "no screaming bananas" sign to put near the trash. You should add avocados too. I just know it's gonna be the next trend. But wait, peels? As in more than one? That's just greedy. Everybody knows it's one per person ratio. Good luck with your hunting <3

[deathsplaything]

What an oddly specific rule I have to implement. Screaming avocados? Or just regular avocados? Yes, it was a dozen screaming banana peels. My ears could bleed. Thank you for being the only one who supports me in my hunt for sport endeavors.

[whimmortal]

Damn. Hope you had some military grade handwash for after all that, because your hands must've been stinky.

[deathsplaything]

I took the realest shower afterwards, I can assure you. I felt very disgusting.

[necrosemancy]

[pm] I can name at least two people who will give you a run for your money for that particular title. As for the bananas, maybe implement a 'no outside food' rule.

[deathsplaything]

[pm] That means I have to work even harder for the title, doesn't it? Expect even crankier responses going forward.

No outside food is a rule, but it's not adhered to for the outside dumpster, which is private property.

[banisheed]

Oh, I don't do my taxes. And perhaps if you were better at evading yours you'd have more time to sympathize with plants.

I'm shaking in my Valentino. I'm so very afraid of the tea shop owner and their dog. I certainly hope I don't awake to find leaves in my bed.

[deathsplaything]

IRS, we got one over here!

I love plants enough, but that doesn't mean I'm sympathizing with them. If they give me a yellowing leaf, it has to be taught a harsh lesson in the garbage disposal. I don't have time for anything less than perfection.

[User decidedly ignores the second half of that reply]

[irlsunbeam]

I mean, not really?? Why do you say it is????

[deathsplaything]

Funny you ask that, because the answer is quite simple.

Don't get caught, and the law doesn't apply.

[deathsplaything]

What is your favorite song?

I don't so much have a favorite song as have a favorite genre depending on my mood. Right now I can't get enough of Bon Iver's new album.

[luckylockjaw]

See, I knew it, I knew it wasn't just me! Did you do it, ever? Pretty satisfyin'.

[deathsplaything]

See, I'm blind. Trying to punch is like throwing a dart at a target with your non-dominant hand. You can do it, it just... probably won't land.

[banisheed]

You ought to put yourself in their banana peels. To be separated from your banana is a great pain. And to be tossed into the trash instead of composted so that you might return to the earth? It's no wonder they scream. You, purveyor of tea, must understand the feelings of plants. Then perhaps you ought to nap and snack and then deal with the bananas. Do you need someone to tuck you in?

[deathsplaything]

Listen, I love plants as much as the next guy, but that doesn't mean I understand the life and pain of a banana peel. I have far better things to do with my time, like taxes. Did you know taxes are due tomorrow?

Touch me, and I'm siccing my dog on you.

[irlsunbeam]

That sounds illegal!

[deathsplaything]

Illegal is subjective.

[whimmortal]

Well, then the trash seems the right place! Would've been nice if they'd pressed the 'off' button before tossing them though.

[deathsplaything]

I agree. I spent so long digging through the dumpster just to find the source of the damn screaming. It was terrible.

[necrosemancy]

[pm] love that for you. don't girlboss too close to the sun though, and remember to keep in mind the powers of gaslight and gatekeep. you have to keep balance with the holy trifecta.

[deathsplaything]

[pm] No one can stop me and my power of being the crankiest bastard in town. The bananas, Rose. The screaming bananas.

[necrosemancy]

[pm] what was that you said about being a witch and hexing people to me once?

[deathsplaything]

Maybe I'm in my "girlboss era." Ever thought about that?

[magda-abrams]

@deathsplaything from here

That's a warcrime.

Don't knock it till you try it. Sweet and savory are a classic combination.

[deathsplaything]

Sweet and savory is one thing, ice cream and hot sauce sounds... vile.

[bladesandtrades]

@deathsplaything replied to this post:

Finally! It's not me!

What the fuck did you do? Take your damn worm facts back.

[deathsplaything]

I didn't do anything, but I have been the recipient of "sexy" worms before. That was a wild week.

[gossipsnake]

Are you advocating for littering? Curious position to take.

[deathsplaything]

I didn't say that. Just don't throw your trash out in a dumpster that's company property and not for public use.