#politeness

[dailymanners]

Do not ever be rude or condescending to someone who asks "obvious" questions, no matter how obvious or silly you think the question is.

For one, in some cultures asking an obvious question is just a polite way of acknowledging the situation. So for example, if you just put your jacket on and start clocking out, a co-worker asking "oh, you done for the day and heading out now?" doesn't deserve you sneering at them like an idiot, scoffing, and saying "uh duh, just like I do every day at this time" when it's likely they knew the answer, but were just asking as a polite way of acknowledging the situation.

But even if they were genuinely unsure that you're leaving even though it seems obvious to you from context clues, so what? What does being rude and condescending to them achieve? Maybe they couldn't sleep last night so they're really out of it today, maybe they're dissociating, maybe they're about to pass out from low blood sugar, maybe some other employees sometimes put on their jacket and only clock out briefly but come back.

There's all sorts of reasons they could be confused about whether or not you're leaving, but intentionally making them feel bad achieves nothing except, well, making them feel bad. Either way, they're not hurting you or anyone by asking a "stupid" question, so there's no point in being rude about it. If you still want to make them feel bad about themselves for looking "stupid" when they weren't hurting anyone, that is the mindset of bullies and abusers.

[reasonsforhope]

Why is the world like this?

Add this to my "weird reasons for hope" tag:

You know, the more I learn about people - about myself, society, psychology, language - the more I begin to think that a truly shocking number of conflicts - interpersonal and large scale - can be explained by some combination of:

Cognitive biases x, x

The fact that we're generally accidentally insulting each other all the time without realizing it, actually x, x, x, x

The fact that there have been a lot of different explanations for How Things Are and How Things Came to Be, believed in very strongly by different groups and people throughout history, and a hell of a lot of those explanations have now been empirically disproven (e.g., the earth is four billion years old, not six thousand) x, x, x

Trauma/intergenerational trauma and epigenetics x, x, x

50% child mortality rate for all of human history until the past 150 years, and much higher rates and younger ages of adult mortality, too x, x

All that constant heavy metal poisoning in Europe and North America from the late 1700s to like the 1970s-1990s (highly correlated with increased aggression and lower IQ*) x, x, x, x *ETA: IQ is a fundamentally flawed concept. It has a lot of issues and has been used to perpetuate a lot of bullshit and justify even more horrible bullshit. However, as the second source argues, it does look like it's a useful measure of cognitive damage and certain neuropsychological processes

Scarcity (x) and especially:

Europeans were historically pretty bad at agriculture and medicine, actually, but they decided they knew best and killed or persecuted everyone who disagreed with them and forced their shitty methods on the whole world via colonialism x, x, x, x, x, x

(Yes, and also capitalism, but everything on that list is older than capitalism, which coalesced in the mid-/late-1700s and early 1800s x, x; the first known use of the word "capitalism" is 1833 x)

Which ig sounds like a lot, but honestly? All those things are a lot more fucking fixable than "humans are innately and uniquely evil" or "humans are inherently stupid/too stupid to survive"

[todays-xkcd]

The most awkward part is when you have to pause to put on your shoes before you continue rolling out the door.

Excusing Yourself [Explained]

Transcript

[Caption above the panel:] Ways to leave a social interaction:

[An arrow pointing towards the right is shown below the caption. Caption above arrow:] Less polite

[First Panel: From left to right, Ponytail, White Hat, and Megan are sitting at a table with half-full glasses on it. Megan is looking down at her phone.] Megan: Oh, gosh, I can't believe how late I've kept you up! I have to wake up early, so I should really go soon. Megan: Can I help tidy up?

[Second Panel: White Hat and Cueball are sitting at a table (only the right half is shown, so Ponytail may be presumed to be in the left chair as in the first panel), on which there are half-full glasses and a plate.] Cueball: It's been great, but I'm tired and need to sleep.

[Third Panel: White Hat and Black Hat are sitting at a table (again, Ponytail may be in the left chair), with two plates and a half-full wine glass at White Hat's spot. Black Hat's arm is resting on his chair.] Black Hat: We're about done having fun, right? Black Hat: Everyone looks bored. Black Hat: And tired.

[Fourth Panel: Ponytail, White Hat are sitting at the table. Megan is shown in a sequence of actions]

[Action 1: Megan kicks the table, spilling the drinks on it and causing her chair to topple backwards:] Kick Megan: Bye.

[Action 2: Megan and her chair crash to the floor.] Crash [Action 3: Megan rolls away from the table. She is now upside down and crouched on the floor.]

[pedropascalito]

Obsessed with Javier/Pedro wiping his shoe before stepping in. Good manners are so hot

[shotgunninggogurts]

One of my favorite things in the world is Excuse Me Voice. This is the tone of voice that people use when they’re passing you out of an elevator, or through an open door, or on the street. When people say “excuse me” or “sorry” in these scenarios, it’s in the tiniest, quietest little voice imaginable, usually coming out like “xcsm” with only the consonants vocalized. It’s pure, it’s funny, everyone does it, everyone’s a little embarrassed after they do it. Cultural banger

[elysium-souldreamer]

[lumi1055]